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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pi**ed off at behaviour of 4x4 driver

175 replies

peacelily · 10/12/2007 16:06

Earlier today I pulled out of a side road to park my rather humble ford focus after having a good look. dd asleep in the back, when I got beeped my the driver of a 4x4 BMW monstrosity who'd roared up behind me going at about 40mph (I live on school lane and it's called that for a very valid reason 3 schools within half a mile) in a 20zone.

As I parked he then pulled up beside me and started tapping his head as in "are you mental?" gesture, I shrugged and mouthed "what" at him in response and he went to get out of the car!!?! His passenger stopped him in time tho and he just roared off.

I'm fuming who the f**k do these idiots think they are!?!

And yes, I am ranting against 4x4 drivers, I know I'm making a massive generalisation and before you jump in no, I'm not jealous because I can't afford one!!

OP posts:
sixlostmonkeys · 11/12/2007 09:02

If a car pulls out of a side road in front of you it can scare/shock you. People react when they are scared/shocked, just as this 4x4 driver reacted. It may not have been appropriate to react the way he did, but everyone is different and who knows what you will do if suddenly scared so much?

The fact that he reacted as such does show though that he doesn't fit into this 'category' of all 4x4 drivers know they will come off better in the event of an accident.

This thread isn't really about 4x4 drivers, it's about a driver scaring another and being told off for it.

Still, 4x4 threads make good pop-corn reading I can't wait until people on benefits who buy their kids xmas presents start driving 4x4s - that's a LOT of pop-corn

notjustmom · 11/12/2007 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ninedragons · 11/12/2007 10:19

"I can't wait until people on benefits who buy their kids xmas presents start driving 4x4s"

Parking their 4x4s in P&T spaces would be even better than driving them.

notjustmom · 11/12/2007 10:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Canadiandream · 11/12/2007 10:35

Off topic but I just have to respond to:

Needmorecoffee:
"re cyclist. Not defending the twats who jump lights etc"

Actually its those cyclists who are less likely to die than the cyclists who abide by the road rules. According to cycle accident stats women cyclists (who tend to follow the road rules!!) are much more likely to be killed than men cyclists (who tend to jump the lights etc) as lots of cyclists are killed when starting off by being crushed by cars/lorries/buses turning into them.

A lot of things cyclists do that pisses off cardrivers is actually to make the cyclists safer on the roads. If car drivers weren't so selfish cyclists would not need to flout the rules so much.

Can you tell I used to cycle all the time!!!

starfish2 · 11/12/2007 10:43

Canadiandream, dh and I also cycled. We always obeyed trafic law. And we get very annoyed at cyclists who do not. Traffic law is for everyone who uses the roads.

sixlostmonkeys · 11/12/2007 10:48

"A lot of things cyclists do that pisses off cardrivers is actually to make the cyclists safer on the roads. If car drivers weren't so selfish cyclists would not need to flout the rules so much."

I agree with this and acknowledge the stats that back it up.
Somewhat in defense of the car driver though, it's not so much of a selfish attitude but more of a lack of connection in the brain, where the driver doesn't automatically, or rather instinctively, recognise that the cyclist is more vulnerable than another road user, ie a car/van/truck.
A proven way to help prevent the accidents that you mention is for the cyclist, whilst waiting correctly alongside other vehicles at a junction/traffic lights, is to turn around and look at the drivers nearby (hopefully catching their eye) This makes them 'a person' in the mind of the driver, and something clicks, and the driver will then be more likely to treat them accordingly; as a vulnerable human on a bike.

mylovelymonster · 11/12/2007 11:07

Peacelily - breathe deeply, the w's not worth the energy. So many rubbish/thoughtless/unskilled/discourteous drivers around - could be driving anything. Maybe he suffers from PE and you caught him on one of his off days )
Be careful out there everyone - have noticed worrying escalation in road/parking/shopping rage recently.....since it hit Dec 1st, funnily enough.....

TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 11/12/2007 11:21

bozza - OK the Rover 600 may not be a Fiat Uno (although my handbag has more space than the boot), the point I'm making is despite it's low ride, I couldn't see a 2yo child in front of it. So it's height is not safe for errant toddlers.

And why has nobody started a thread saying a lovely lady in a Range Rover drove up the bank to let me pass today and gave way to oncoming traffic to let them pass stationary bus etc. Or even, local 'spice girl look-a-like' ALWAYS reverse parks properly so that when she leaves a car park she can see where everyone is. Hmm? Why not eh? Discrimination. That's what it is.

StarofBethleCam · 11/12/2007 19:29

sexless and boring

Eat your words custardo

clam · 11/12/2007 19:52

I met a Jaguar (driver) nose-to-nose the other day. It was absolutely my right-of-way, and I'd got there 1st, but she refused to reverse, just sat there, hooting me. Cow! Why should I get out of her way? I pondered sitting it out to see how long before she'd move herself, but had dd in car and didn't want her to witness an undignified scene. So I squeezed onto the pavement. Snotty, vile Jaguar driver didn't even acknowledge it, just stared straight ahead and swept past. Still makes me angry thinking about it.

cleaninglady · 11/12/2007 20:21

as my dd says "build a bridge and get over it" its a bad driver no matter what car they drive - you probably notice a 4 x 4 more than a smaller car but I am a really considerate driver, I let people out/in front even if my right of way, I drive at (roughly) the speed limit and I always acknowledge any thoughtful driving gesture towards me. Please let this go its so boring now!!! I drive the car I want to drive, I live in the house I wanted to live in and my dc go to the school I want them to go to - this in no way says anything about me , I am minding my own business and its my life decisions

needmorecoffee · 12/12/2007 08:27

does seem to be a lot of road rage out there. There's a pedestrian crossing opposite my GP's, those stripey ones. Now, when I learned to drive I was taught that if someone was waiting to cross you had to stop. Pretty sure its in the Highway code too. But I'll be there ages, one foot poised, as it were, while drivers speed past. When someone does stop they not only fume and rev the engine but suqeeze past when you're halfway across.
I don't drive anymore and we don't own a car and I get scread every day by what some idiot ina metal cage does. Running red lights, even when the green man is on, mounting the pavament to get past the queuing traffic etc. It was even worse when I cycled, no-one gives you that 3 feet of overtaking space the law demands plus the thrown things, the yelling, the beeping (Iam one of those law abiding cyclists), the trying to turn left at a junction through you (most cyclists killed this way).
What is wrong with people? Given that average speeds in this city are 8-12mph why don't they all chill? Thats not a stressful speed, plenty of time to see things coming. I am fed up being and feeling vunerable

mylovelymonster · 12/12/2007 09:40

Caffeine addict - crossing the road with a pram on a pesdestrian crossing and the odd maniac driving through a red light when both it & us clearly visible - v. scary trying to leap onto the pavement in time. Both DH & ! love driving (sometimes quite fast!) and cycling, and just no excuses for crap behaviour - & as you say, driving badly is stressful on the driver, so just don't get it.
I don't think I will let dd cycle on the roads until will get some cycle lanes at least.......even then.............

CharlieAndLolasMummy · 12/12/2007 09:42

bascially

no, YANBU

Unless you have 11 kids and live at the top of a mountain, you do not need a sodding 4x4.

Unless of course you have a VERY small penis.

HappyDaddy · 12/12/2007 10:38

DW gets this from drivers of lots of cars. The one thing they all have in common is taht thay are men and they never do it when I'm in the car with her.

Except one guy who went up her arse, flashed his lights hooted his horn. Funnily enough when I turned around in my seat he dropped right back.

Fucking cowards.

Canadiandream · 12/12/2007 10:51

Response to Starfish2:

"Canadiandream, dh and I also cycled. We always obeyed trafic law. And we get very annoyed at cyclists who do not. Traffic law is for everyone who uses the roads."

I took that attitude as well when I cycled - but then I read an article on the accident stats showing that the people who follow the rules are more likely to die.... Would you rather die following the rules, or live flouting them!!!

Ubergeekian · 12/12/2007 11:30

Notjustmom, if you want room you should buy an estate because they will give you lots more of it than a 4x4. If you want safety you should by a Volvo because they are a lot safer than 4x4's, both for you (that high centre of gravity does you no favours) and for other road users. You can, of course, spend your money as you want - but for most people 4x4s are a rotten choice.

As for judging people by clothes, houses and choies of work ... yes, of course I do! Doesn't everybody? There wouldn't be many clothes shops around if we didn't.

I used to have a Volvo, by the way. Wonderful thing, built like a tank. Used to check every month or so and prise out any small bits of Chelsea tractor which had got embedded in the bodywork...

Ubergeekian · 12/12/2007 11:35

A few years ago, clam, I saw some equally terribly Jaguar driving. Made an illegal left turn from Princes St onto the Mound in Edinburgh, then barged and hooted through the pedestrians crossing at a green light. Some driver. Some deputy prime minister.

HappyDaddy · 12/12/2007 11:37

I'm always ranting at 4x4s but mostly because the majority of owners are completely unable to drive them.

I rant and I rant but if someone offered me an Audi Q7, I'd shut up and take it.

I prefer big luxury cars myself. Though I can't afford either.

Ubergeekian · 12/12/2007 11:41

Oh dear god, not the Porshe Cayenne. Ugly as sin, vulgar as hell, worst possible fuel consumption band and as for safety - they haven't even dared put it in for NCAP testing! Nobody, nobody, nobody needs a Cayenne.

Ubergeekian · 12/12/2007 11:45

HappyDaddy: "I'm always ranting at 4x4s but mostly because the majority of owners are completely unable to drive them."

But that's why they have 'em. They are rotten drivers, so they have lots of accidents/near misses, so they think that they'll make themselves safe by driving around in something big. They don't, of course, and they make life substantially nastier for the pedestrians and cars they hit.

HappyDaddy · 12/12/2007 11:45

The Porsche Cayenne is a complete eyesore and waste of space. People who buy them only do it so they appear to be like footballers or their wives.

Take it off road and you'll need a Land Rover to pull it out. Same with the BMW X5.

auntyspan · 12/12/2007 11:48

You see Happy Daddy, I used to think that too. then we were in the position to actually buy one, took it for a test drive and the looks of hate I got put me RIGHT off.

So went for a A4 tdi - which I like to think is like me - powerful, sophisticated... yet understated ......

HappyDaddy · 12/12/2007 11:48

I watched a programme, a few months back, where they took unashamed 4x4 owners and tested their driving skills. They used safety and style as their buying reasons. All bar one admitted that they were re-evalutationg their choices. Especially when shown that the bumper is the same height as a toddlers head.

One guy hated small cars, drove far far better and had less near misses in a Fiesta. I'm pretty sure he actually sold his Range Rover and bought a sports car instead.

It was a very well made programme.