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AIBU?

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Original poster

Father Christmas

110 replies

tryingtosavethemagic · 21/10/2021 19:43

My cousin has told his kids aged 9 and 8 the truth about Father Christmas in October. Not because his kids asked but because his wife believed still when she was in yr 7 and she doesn't want her kids to feel stupid the way she did back then... The kids were really upset apparently this is what they told us.

So after some thought we normally spend Christmas Day together. I think they have ruined the magic for their kids (their choice of course). My kids are the same age as theirs so I have said that this year I don't want to spend the day with them. I don't want to risk my kids finding out. Especially on the actual day when opening and showing each other Father Christmas gifts All kids can be quite spiteful these kids are these kids!!

They are not happy at all with us for saying we wanna do it separate this year. I wanna keep the magic alive for mine as long as I possibly can.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
tryingtosavethemagic · 21/10/2021 21:02

@AspCommie

Wow 9 seems really old to still believe!

I'm pretty sure it was all round the class that he wasn't real when we were 6 or so.

Do you think? It doesn't seem unusual at our school had convo with other mums too and none of their kids have said anything.
OP posts:
Original poster
tryingtosavethemagic · 21/10/2021 21:06

@Oldnews

Isn't christmas about spending time with your family, and love and togetherness? Or is it about pretending a man in a red suit gives everyone presents?

Such a strange view of where christmas magic comes from.

Yes I agree as an adult with you but for kids the magic is a lot to do with Father Christmas... Advent Calendars, elf on shelf, all the magical Christmas movies, being good, visiting Father Christmas the cookies and milk writing him a letter, reindeers etc all of that is defo magical for kids no?
OP posts:
JesusIsAnyNameFree · 21/10/2021 21:12

YANBU about not wanting to celebrate with them. I am shocked at all these kids still believing though. I was 4 when I figured it out.

WheelieBinPrincess · 21/10/2021 21:12

Elf on the Shelf isn’t magical for anyone.

Notstrongandstable · 21/10/2021 21:13

My 9yo figured it out two years ago. I'm relieved. Christmas is still great!
If they're old enough to know where babies come from they're old enough to know about Santa.
I can't believe some people let their kids start secondary still believing! They will look like idiots.

WheelieBinPrincess · 21/10/2021 21:14

I’m sure tons of kids have figured it out really by age 8! like the tooth fairy, they keep up the pretence of believing a bit longer- if they’re smart they know what side their bread is buttered.

Whatwouldnanado · 21/10/2021 21:21

Don't let it spoil the fun in your house or cause bother with your cousin. If it's mentioned, take the higher ground with a twinkle in your eye. Everyone knows Santa only brings a stocking to people who believe in him. (Our kids are 20 and 17, port,mince pie and carrots left out every year and and everyone sleeping here on Christmas Eve gets a stocking!)

User527294627 · 21/10/2021 21:22

Yanbu, I would do the same as you.

toastofthetown · 21/10/2021 21:23

Honestly I’d prioritise time with your children’s cousins than a fictional character. This would probably be one of their last years of believing in Father Christmas (if they have already figured it out and are keeping quiet so they don’t lose presents). Moving on to Christmas being magical because you spend time with your family, rather than because a man in a red suits bring presents will keep the Christmas magic around for longer. One of my favourite Christmases as a child was when I was eight or nine, no longer believed in Father Christmas and still had a really fun day with my cousins.

Goldbar · 21/10/2021 21:28

I just don't think this is a conversation that parents need to have with their children. Most kids will twig around 7/8, if not earlier, but they may choose to half-believe for longer to continue the magic. If asked, I will tell my DC that it is up to them what they believe.

Chemenger · 21/10/2021 21:32

My DDs assure me every year that they still believe. They are 24 and 20.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/10/2021 21:33

Yanbu
Honestly why did he tell em- I assume by secondary school but they had a few magic years ahead why spoil it

Floralnomad · 21/10/2021 21:36

Mine are now adults but I really don’t get this angst about FC , if the ‘magic’ of your Christmas is based around believing in a fat man in a suit then you will have many unmagical christmases to look forward to . We always did FC as a ‘fantasy story’ , saw 2/3 FC per year , put out a mince pie etc , our children always loved Christmas , they are now both in their 20s and still love Christmas - nothings changed except we don’t go and see FC .

Somuddled · 21/10/2021 21:37

These threads alway confuse me. I adore Christmas but the concept of Father Christmas is crazy. It's a really strange thing to tell a child. And very confusing if you are trying to tell them the Jesus story too. Can't ever see myself being comfortable with telling a child to behave in order to please a male stranger enough to bring gifts.

Original poster
tryingtosavethemagic · 21/10/2021 21:38

@Chemenger

My DDs assure me every year that they still believe. They are 24 and 20.
I love this!!!!
OP posts:
Somuddled · 21/10/2021 21:38

But to your point, if you want to keep your children believing the lie a bit longer then you have every right not to share the day with the other family.

KitchenKrisis · 21/10/2021 21:40

I don't blame you at all op, it's a horrible thing to do and just because they chose too you shouldn't have it foisted onto you.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/10/2021 21:44

@Somuddled

These threads alway confuse me. I adore Christmas but the concept of Father Christmas is crazy. It's a really strange thing to tell a child. And very confusing if you are trying to tell them the Jesus story too. Can't ever see myself being comfortable with telling a child to behave in order to please a male stranger enough to bring gifts.
But praising a mystical male baby that controls our lives….normal?!

Honestly I hate it when people are so vile about Father Christmas and making it more than it is- personally seeing my children believe that they were given presents from Father Christmas is a huge highlight of being a parent- if not for everyone fine but don’t belittle what it is for others

23minutesfromTulseHill · 21/10/2021 21:47

@VestaTilley

YANBU at all- your poor cousins DC must be devastated, and traumatised.

That is terrible parenting on the part of your cousin, and I’d be telling him so.

I wouldn’t want all the children to be punished by a Christmas apart. Could you maybe ask your cousin to ask his children not to say anything?

I assume this is a joke. 'Devastated and traumatised', really? As to the notion of asking more informed kids not to pass on what they know and their cousins don't GrinGrin
toastofthetown · 21/10/2021 21:47

I haven’t seen anyone being “vile about Father Christmas” Hmm Just saying that he doesn’t exist and that he’s shouldn’t the most important in a child’s world

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/10/2021 21:49

@toastofthetown

I haven’t seen anyone being “vile about Father Christmas” Hmm Just saying that he doesn’t exist and that he’s shouldn’t the most important in a child’s world
“Fat man in a suit”
SmellyOldOwls · 21/10/2021 21:50

Honestly I think spending time with loved ones at Christmas would be much more of a priority for me than continuing the myth of Father Christmas which, when you get to that age, is flogging a dead horse anyway.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 21/10/2021 22:06

Fat man in a suit

Well, not wrong.

Plotato · 21/10/2021 22:18

I teach and whilst children in KS2 (so 7+) might play along, I don't think that many truly believe

Explosivefarts · 21/10/2021 22:20

Are you sure your kids still believe? At those ages I would be surprised they don’t know the truth about Santa .