To think there's a difference between being nosey and being inquisitive?

[winningforhim]

Tonight my daughters dad phoned her whilst we were driving. A girl in my daughters class works for my ex so my daughter said that she seen him at school pick up this afternoon. My ex replied saying, 'yeah well it is usually him that collects his DD'. At that point I said, 'yeah I've noticed that, what does her mum do for work?' Ex replied 'I don't know, your mums awful nosey isn't she DD?'

Now I do ask people questions, 'did you have a nice break?' 'What do you do for work?' 'Do you enjoy it?' 'How old are your kids etc'. I like to show an interest because...well I'm interested.

I will ask questions about people, for instance DD is going to a wedding in December with ex and so the guy who is getting married I knew through ex so I asked, 'how is M doing these days?' 'Where is he working?' 'How long have they been together?' 'Where are they getting married?'

This obviously strikes my ex as me being nosey, however, I'm not asking these questions with any malicious intent or to spread information about. I'm not asking how much they earn or about there sex life.

It offended me that ex called me nosey in front of DD. I would say my personality is more inquisitive. When I said this to ex he said there's no such thing.

AIBU thinking that asking this question does not make me Nosey?

I'd be more likely to ask a third party which I guess makes me nosy. (I thought I was an amateur student of economics!)

@Volhhg

OP you are being inquisitive and open to the world and that is an excellent quality. Here in the UK people can be a bit stiff but after visiting and spending time in other countries this kind of thing is more relaxed and acceptable. I've been to places where I have been regularly asked things like "What does your father do" "why don't you have children" "how much do you earn", I absolute love it it's great! Much better than small talk about the weather. It would be considered very rude to do that here. I think being accused of being nosey is a relic of the Victorians in our culture here

Asking someone if they have children is one thing, asking why they don’t have children is totally unacceptable.

I don’t think this question was so intrusive however it’s your DD’s phone conversation with her Dad not yours and the topic wasn’t affected you in the slightest, in those circumstances your question was too much. And I think that’s why your ex reacted like this, you were nosy because you interfered into their private conversation not because of question itself.

Yes it's unacceptable here in the UK but it is an acceptable question in some cultures and I thought it was great

@Volhhg

Yes it's unacceptable here in the UK but it is an acceptable question in some cultures and I thought it was great

Were you on the receiving end?

Nobody likes a nosey parker.

I think it's more about how it's done. You should sense if the person is happy to respond and chat. I'd they give vague answers or cuts it short. Stop asking. If they provide extra info and ask you back, then go ahead and ask more.

TBF if you google the dictionary definitions of inquisitive it pretty much comes back as nosey unless it's to do with learning so I think you're just splitting hairs over terminology and do come across as nosey.

Yes I was asked numerous times.

I love a nosey Parker!

I hate nosy types. Gossipy types.

When anyone asks me about anyone else and I just think. You don't need to know that you're being nosey. I just say. Dunno/ never noticed/ hadn't thought about it.

The woman down the road is terrible. What's going on at 26? Have you seen X not seen them a while think they may have split. That young bloke at 17 I reckon he's a drug dealer. Blah blah blah who gives a fuck. Leave them alone! You sound boring and sad. Get your own life.