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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Postman smashing on door and shouting

447 replies

OttilieStonelady · 19/10/2021 11:12

I live in a house with other people. Someone else had something sent to them by a family member so neither of us knew it was arriving. He's not in. Postman came to door to drop off. Saw me upstairs and I swear was banging on my door for 5 minutes so hard it sounded like he was going to break in. Rang the door over and over and over banging in-between. He disappeared, I guess delivered neighbours post then came back and banged on my door again, then next again, then back to me again. He even shouted 'i can see you'. I can't leave when I'm in the middle of presenting to people, especially not senior management, presenting extremely sensitive data. It's not a big house so he would've known I'd have heard him. WIBU not to open the door? Was he BU to keep banging aggressively on my door? All round a weird experience.

OP posts:
Stoppochoco · 19/10/2021 14:52

@StormTreader

I feel like if the OP had posted saying "my husband was giving an important business presentation", there wouldn't be nearly as many people saying he should have interrupted it to answer the door.

There's still a fair bit of unconscious assumption in our society that a woman at home is on-call for various household chores and admin even if she's WFH.

I suggested answering the door, because I would find it difficult to concentrate if someone was 'smashing my door and shouting at me for 5 minutes'. Not because the Op is female, or I don't understand what WFH means. Presumably the people listening to the call would also be able to hear the racket and would be equally distracted. I would explain that I was going to sort the noise out, not 'don't mind me while I bob along to pick up a pressie for my friend'. I find it hard to believe that people could continue to work under the conditions described.
ThisAintNoPartyThisAintNoDisco · 19/10/2021 14:54

Dh had similar too. He was right in the middle of interviewing someone and couldn’t just walk off to answer the door to a delivery lady. She went off loudly swearing about it because she could see him through the front door. With so many people now wfh surely it can’t be an unusual situation ..Confused

Moulesvinrouge1 · 19/10/2021 14:54

@outofservice

Weird not to answer the door to somebody who is busy trying to do their job. Am sure a quick excuse me to your very important colleagues would have been less distracting than listening to someone aggressively banging on your door for 5 whole minutes.
Um - the OP was also trying to do her job?!
AliceMcK · 19/10/2021 14:58

Make a sign saying your in a meeting and if it happens again hold it up or prop it in the window. (obviously out of view of the meeting). Or put one on your front door.

You were both trying to do your jobs, he wasn’t to know you were in a meeting, he probably thought you were just ignoring him. I’m also sure you could have apologised to your work colleagues about someone trying to knock down your door. If your work from home these things are to be expected.

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 19/10/2021 14:59

Like fuck would I step out of a work presentation to appease an inappropriately aggressive postman hammering on the door and bellowing that he could see me.

What planet are some of you on where a woman who manages to stay focused on her job in that situation is “selfish” or “rude”?

Utterly amazing

acatcalledjohn · 19/10/2021 15:04

You were both trying to do your jobs, he wasn’t to know you were in a meeting, he probably thought you were just ignoring him.

Then he is hard of thinking.

I’m also sure you could have apologised to your work colleagues about someone trying to knock down your door. If your work from home these things are to be expected.

Bollocks is a delivery person knocking aggressively for 5 mins to be expected. If only you read the thread it is clear that not all meetings can be interrupted, and for a wide variety of reasons.

Amazingly the excuses keep on coming.

Bellringer · 19/10/2021 15:05

Many reasons you might not answer, there is a procedure to follow which is not bullying people. It wasn't even her parcel ffs.

DockOTheBay · 19/10/2021 15:19

@outofservice

So your job is more important than the postie trying to do theirs??
Yes of course someone's own job is more important to them than the job of a total stranger. Especially since the postman could have just left a card or left the parcel with the neighbour and would still have adequately completed his job.
QueenBee52 · 19/10/2021 15:25

@gamerchick

A sign on the door when you're doing an important thing and can't answer would probably be easier.

yip

charityshopchangingbag · 19/10/2021 15:29

I have Teams meetings with very senior people. Everyone is relaxed about people having to pop to answer the door etc.

The only way I wouldn't have got up to answer the door, was if i was still wearing pyjamas on my bottom half. There's no way I'd want to risk flashing that to the directors

Original poster
OttilieStonelady · 19/10/2021 15:37

[quote outofservice]@Tal45 not defending, I just thought rather than listen to someone bang on your door for 5 minutes, it would have been less disturbing to answer the door.
FWIW, I have learned a lot about people working from home. In my experience they always wear headsets so I never know if I’ve been heard. I’m more of a knock, count slowly to 20, knock slightly louder whilst filling out a red card type worker but we are given 3 minutes to deliver each item.
The OP has every right to and should complain about this man. (I would personally find the local delivery office number rather the the generic 0345 one to make sure it is dealt with)[/quote]
This is what my usual postie does. Which is totally fair enough! I'm not going to complain as would worry he'd be back tomorrow! But thanks and for being a fab postie which you clearly are!

OP posts:
Lockdownbear · 19/10/2021 15:53

@DockOTheBay why should he consider chapping the neighbours when he knew the Op was in?

steff13 · 19/10/2021 15:59

Answer the door. What is wrong with people. So selfish and rude.

Answering the door would have been selfish and rude to her colleagues.

Xenia · 19/10/2021 16:00

People don't understand home working particularly presentations. I have worked from home since 1994 although at back of house usually so no one would know I was in. When being filmed in the front room however a postman might think I were there but with doing a one hour take without a break there is no way I could go to the door.

steff13 · 19/10/2021 16:02

[quote ravenmum]**@iwannabelikeyouhoohoo* Why won't it go down well? You think he does know why OP wasn't answering the door, and was deliberately disturbing her? I prefer to imagine that he was not* trying to disturb her and just didn't realise - like many other people on this thread - why OP wasn't answering.[/quote]
That may well be, but she's not required to answer the door to anyone. Why wouldn't he knock a couple of times and then move on? There are myriad reasons why she might not have answered that are none of his business. Him knocking so aggressively is unreasonable.

noirchatsdeux · 19/10/2021 16:04

Right at the beginning of lockdown I had my arse handed to me on here because I dared to complain about a delivery driver who tried to get me to slag off my neighbour across the hall because he'd dared to refuse to take a parcel in for me and she'd had to come back. The delivery driver had totally ignored a long standing instruction that deliveries to my address were not to be left with anyone else. The company this particular delivery person was working for allowed up to 3 attempts at redelivery...the original attempt was a good hour before the time I'd been given and I was at a hospital appointment...I was told that I was 'unreasonable' and got all the guff about what saints delivery drivers were etc

I found out later that delivery driver was sacked as she was discovered to be nicking food deliveries and getting her son to make her deliveries for her. Some saint!

DockOTheBay · 19/10/2021 16:08

[quote Lockdownbear]@DockOTheBay why should he consider chapping the neighbours when he knew the Op was in?[/quote]
Because she was obviously busy

Guetzlibache · 19/10/2021 16:08

Why didnt you open the window upstairs and shouted:be downstairs in a second.surely there was a way to communicate from your side.It just sounds from your thread,you just let him shout and bang on the door.confused?

urbanbuddha · 19/10/2021 16:10

Obviously I do or I wouldn't have posted. A couple of seconds wouldn't have interrupted the meeting

She wasn't in a meeting, she was giving a presentation. Imagine a newsreader reading the news and getting up mid-sentence and disappearing off to get a parcel. Like that.
But even if she was in a meeting she can't just get up and walk out because there's an aggressive - and weird - postman at the door. She's at work.

Nietzschethehiker · 19/10/2021 16:21

There's a breathtakingly amount of ignorance and entitlement on this thread.

Just because you are WFH does not mean you aren't working and required to be there. It's not a personal slight to continue doing your own job (I'm genuinely bothered that a postie has defended this at the same time as making a totally unjustified kick that apparently the OP was looking down on the postperson).

For the somewhat ignorant that make assumptions about what you can and can't do WFH. I daily have to record sessions for a specific reason. I can't leave the screen during that recording or it invalidates it. If I do that it doesn't just affect me it also affects more heavily the person I'm speaking to.

Sooo no I am not going to cause myself a problem and the person I'm presenting to for a postman being aggressive for a parcel that was not mine and I didn't know was coming, that's the height if entitlement assuming that a postmans job is more important than anyone else's. Why is it not the same ? Why is my job less important?

This was not the OP fault and its quite disquieting the amount of patronising people have aimed at postman here . They are not children with the "ahhh the poor hardworking postman" , don't talk down to them. That's not supporting the role that's treating them with kid gloves.

I used to live with a postie and its a very hard job done by an adult. I guarantee you he would be unimpressed to be treated as a poor downtrodden blue collar worker as the tone of some of these posts imply.

Two people with jobs to do were involved here. Neither is more important but one was actively involved in a task they couldn't break from. The other chose to be aggressive. Any stupid social wokeness is totally invented.

myrtleWilson · 19/10/2021 16:22

@Guetzlibache because that would be unprofessional to the people in the meeting she was presenting to. Have you yelled out the window when presenting in an office situation - I haven't...

ethelredonagoodday · 19/10/2021 16:27

This thread is utterly bonkers. I WFH and have done so for the last 18 months now. Some meetings or I formal chats I can duck out of, if the door goes. Not an issue at all.

Some meetings or presentations I absolutely cannot be disturbed and anyone who happens to be at home at the time I'm doing them is told in no uncertain terms not to disturb me. My home office has a window that looks down onto our front door, but when I'm in those meetings there's no way I could open the window and bellow out of it!

Also, when you're WFH, you never know who might call you and want a meeting or a video call. You are working, just the same as if you were in the office! If you're able to answer the door that's great, but it's not expected, whether they can see you or not! Cheeky git!

Luckily all our posties are lovely and if we don't answer, they leave a card, or pop the parcel round the side. They'd not dream of banging repeatedly on the door. Bizarre behaviour!

ethelredonagoodday · 19/10/2021 16:29

*informal

rainbowmash · 19/10/2021 16:35

@butterpuffed

As you were at the window why didn't you open it and call out 'On a Zoom meeting, please put a card through the door' Would've taken a couple of seconds.
Oh my goodness, the cluelessness of some people...

There is no way my job would expect me to holler out of the window at a postman DURING my own presentation. I'd definitely see far-reaching consequences to my professional image and relationships if I did that.

Maybe don't comment on other people's jobs if you're clearly this inexperienced.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 19/10/2021 16:39

Honestly some of the idiocy on this thread. I work from home. Sometimes, in an informal meeting I can answer the door but other times there is no chance. I am AT WORK. Thankfully we haven't got a twat for a postman and the Amazon drivers just chuck stuff on the doormat anyway.