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AIBU?

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Original poster

Postman smashing on door and shouting

447 replies

OttilieStonelady · 19/10/2021 11:12

I live in a house with other people. Someone else had something sent to them by a family member so neither of us knew it was arriving. He's not in. Postman came to door to drop off. Saw me upstairs and I swear was banging on my door for 5 minutes so hard it sounded like he was going to break in. Rang the door over and over and over banging in-between. He disappeared, I guess delivered neighbours post then came back and banged on my door again, then next again, then back to me again. He even shouted 'i can see you'. I can't leave when I'm in the middle of presenting to people, especially not senior management, presenting extremely sensitive data. It's not a big house so he would've known I'd have heard him. WIBU not to open the door? Was he BU to keep banging aggressively on my door? All round a weird experience.

OP posts:
DespairingHomeowner · 19/10/2021 13:11

@outofservice

So your job is more important than the postie trying to do theirs??
to me & my company - yes of course!

OP - since lockdown 1, I have had a sign on my door saying 'I'm WFH & often on calls. Pls knock & leave item, I will collect as soon as I can'

This has been working fine for me - in my old place postman could see me & waved to indicate had left something (same for amazon/dpd), since I've moved things get left in the porch

Postman is being a bit unreasonable to not work out you were working - I have when needed given them the 'I'm on the phone' hand signal, but as I usually wear a headset it is obvious

In short - post a sign at your door

urbanbuddha · 19/10/2021 13:13

The sheer number of people excusing aggressive behaviour from a man towards a woman is appalling.

No wonder nothing ever fucking changes.

This is honestly how it felt. I'll add, I have a non molestation order against my ex partner and anything like this scared the living shite out of me. I'm still on edge now. Guess it's ok though because he's a postie after all....

Complain to Royal Mail. It might save someone else from having to deal with this man's entitlement.

Dixiechickonhols · 19/10/2021 13:13

All the people saying answer the door - the poster was presenting but you could be doing anything on zoom/teams you can’t get away from. Court hearing, medical appointment, teaching a class, therapy, client appointment etc.
if your normal postie is ok I’d have a word and say the man who was covering on Tuesday was out of order.
Some people have signs up - do not disturb/leave around back but it’s harder with an unexpected parcel.
I can see they need to knock so you can hear but he went well beyond this.

Bellringer · 19/10/2021 13:14

Many reasons not to answer. There is a procedure. Wasn't her parcel anyway

JauntyJinty · 19/10/2021 13:16

I've had exams from home where I am then monitored via webcam for the duration of the exam. If I left my desk it would have meant an instant fail - should I have anwered the door if the postie happened to knock?!

Does this help poeple understand that there are situations where it just isn't doable

LittleMissMoggy · 19/10/2021 13:17

Can't believe the number of people saying to answer the door. There is a protocol in place for deliveries when people don't answer the door, all the postman had to do was follow that protocol. People need to move with the times and understand what WFH actually means. WFH does not mean you can jump up to answer doors in the middle of important meetings. I can only assume some people posting here have no idea what it is like to work in professional settings. Definitely complain OP.

thevassal · 19/10/2021 13:19

FFS can't people read the full (short) OP before they get worked up about something that didn't happen? THE FRIEND DIDNT KNOW THE PARCEL WAS COMING!

Forget the faux outrage about OPS "superior" job being more important than the postman's - sometimes people can't answer the door even if they are in the house - if they are ill, in the middle of a job interview, if they are a carer delivering personal care to a client....whatever. postman should accept this and not go round shouting "I can see you!" Which could be hugely intimidating to someone for lots of reasons.

tigerinyourtank · 19/10/2021 13:19

YANBU and you know you aren't. It sounds shit and I'm sorry it set off your past trauma.

As an aside I'm not really sure why people post in AIBU when they know they are being perfectly reasonable. Better off starting a thread in chat saying you're upset after an incident this morning rather than engaging with people who will claim the sky is green and the grass is blue just because.

girlmom21 · 19/10/2021 13:24

Someone at my work was let go within a matter of days when doing remote training.

One of the reasons was that they repeatedly left the training to answer the door to the postie/for deliveries.

The role was call centre style - temporarily remote - and the logic was that if they can't be committed to the training, when they were on teams on camera all day, management wouldn't be able to trust them to not take the mick when they were ready to work on the phones.

Isitsixoclockalready · 19/10/2021 13:32

@outofservice

So your job is more important than the postie trying to do theirs??
It's not that it's more important - I'm sure that most people are aware of the great job that the royal mail do - it's just that walking out during a meeting might be very awkward for some people and might raise a few eyebrows.
caketiger · 19/10/2021 13:35

Erm that's a no. I wouldn't do this... You are being unreasonable!

Staffy1 · 19/10/2021 13:35

Imagine being the neighbour and have him aggressively banging on their door when the parcel wasn’t even for someone at their house. I haven’t had this with postmen, they usually just write a card and redliver, but have had it with an Amazon driver who wouldn’t give up and was almost breaking the door down and then running across to the neighbours front door and banging on theirs as well. I was in the garden so couldn’t answer the door immediately. Usually they just dump and run so I don’t know what that particular ones problem was.

StrongSunglasses · 19/10/2021 13:37

Yanbu!! I’ve worked from home for over a decade and some people (less than before the pandemic thankfully), thinks this means you’re available and free, totally flexible and able to immediately accommodate an unexpected visitor…

All the totally unreasonable pp’s who are implying that you can or should just pause a meeting to sate a rude, aggressive and shouting postman are out of this world!!!!

It’s called WORKING from home. And this kind of interruption is the equivalent of someone smashing on a boardroom door which would similarly be utterly unreasonable.

Emilyontmoor · 19/10/2021 13:37

The Royal Mail has very clear standards for deliveries which postman are trained in. Funnily enough they don’t include hammering down the door and / or shouting at customers, especially not women. Hopefully they also now have training in how to behave around women in the street as well. His line managers would be appalled, and he would certainly be disciplined.

All those people saying OP was at fault for not letting him do his job. His job is to deliver to an acceptable level of customer service, and that wasn’t it. Customers have a right to expect civility and courtesy in line with their customer needs (ie working from home) from everyone who delivers a service.

The Postman is of course representing not just the Post Office but the person sending the parcel too. Those customers can and do take their business away from Royal Ma when Postmen do not keep to the expected service standards so the Postman’s behaviour is actually threatening his own job as well as OPs

I do speak from experience. Try explaining to your customer (of Royal Mail) that the item their customer can’t find is hidden up a tree in the back garden that the Postman scaled a six month fence to get to!

MRex · 19/10/2021 13:38

It would be good to complain about the postman OP, he was unnecessarily rude and aggressive. Delivery drivers should have some basic process to follow like the attached.

Postman smashing on door and shouting
Postdatedpandemic · 19/10/2021 13:38

Your postie was being pretty unreasonable, though given the vast quantity of posts I have read on here over the years about people never answering the door, I can understand why.

If you WFH you have to sort a set up that meets professional standards. You live in a shared house, do you work in your bedroom (not good long term), do you work in a communal room (really not good for confidential stuff). How do you cope when a house mate has a day off or visitors? What procedures do you have in place for knocks on the door / next door having noisy builders? A sign on the door is a start.

I know a few people who have had to move to be able to WFH professionally.

Branleuse · 19/10/2021 13:42

im pretty sure that postmen will be aware that a lot of people are working from home these days, but tbh, even if i was fumbling around on candy crush and taking a shit, I would not be ok with a postman banging on my door telling me he knew I was in.

simitra · 19/10/2021 13:42

Unless Im expecting a parcel or a caller I WILL NOT stop working to answer the door. Most times i stream live music through headphones so I dont hear it. My postie knows to leave the parcel by the kitchen door. Its out of sight of the road and unlikely to be stolen.

Tal45 · 19/10/2021 13:46

[quote outofservice]@TinyTear yes, I’m a postie.[/quote]
And you're defending his behaviour? Disturbing.

Zippy1510 · 19/10/2021 13:47

As if people are actually suggesting you up
and leave a work presentation to take a personal delivery 😂. Part of the posties job is to follow protocol when the intended recipient is not available. I would complain about their behaviour- completely unacceptable.

LovelaceBiggWither · 19/10/2021 13:47

@LetHimHaveIt

'I don't think that's very professional at all!

An informal meeting with friendly colleagues, maybe. Consultation with doctor or lawyer, social services, police, parent/teacher meeting on a time limit - no way! Again people have no idea what jobs people do from home. There was no excuse for the postie to behave like that and I'd be complaining to the depot.

We had similar when my DS was home sick and I told him not to open door while I went to shop and he said postie was aggressive, saying I can see you and kicked the door shock as if anyone would open it after that!'

Cool.

Don't quite understand why you had to tell your husband not to open the door when you went out. He's presumably not eight.

Yeah but her DS very well might be.
ElephantOfRisk · 19/10/2021 13:50

I sit in my office with the window next to the front door. If i'm on a video call and can't answer the door (happened a few times, couple of times postie and other was hermes/other delivery) then the delivery person/postie just waves at me, leaves parcel on doorstep and points to it and i bring it in when I'm finished.

Unless you live with a door on the main road in a rough area surely that's the sensible option. He must have assumed that if he could see you, you could see him and therefore anyone else at the front door and could have indicated it was there and left it.

BoxOfDreams · 19/10/2021 13:57

In the middle of giving a presentation? No way. What should she have done, put up an ‘intermission’ sign? Ha ha, yes, or pop a card with this on in front of the screen....

Postman smashing on door and shouting
user1477249785 · 19/10/2021 13:57

I once made a sign for my door that said: in a job interview, please don't bang on door just leave parcels on doorstep.

Guess what? It didn't work. The delivery man literally banged on the window repeatedly saying that he could see me and I needed to answer the door. Urgh.

Garriet · 19/10/2021 13:58

Utterly bonkers that so many people think OP is being unreasonable and should have answered the door. She was at work.

I sometimes work from home. Sometimes I can answer the door, if I’m writing case notes or reports. Sometimes I’m in a court hearing, or talking to people about sensitive personal issues. It’s frankly ridiculous for anyone to assume I should be prioritising an unexpected knock on the door, no matter the pressures posties and delivery drivers are under.

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