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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Postman smashing on door and shouting

447 replies

OttilieStonelady · 19/10/2021 11:12

I live in a house with other people. Someone else had something sent to them by a family member so neither of us knew it was arriving. He's not in. Postman came to door to drop off. Saw me upstairs and I swear was banging on my door for 5 minutes so hard it sounded like he was going to break in. Rang the door over and over and over banging in-between. He disappeared, I guess delivered neighbours post then came back and banged on my door again, then next again, then back to me again. He even shouted 'i can see you'. I can't leave when I'm in the middle of presenting to people, especially not senior management, presenting extremely sensitive data. It's not a big house so he would've known I'd have heard him. WIBU not to open the door? Was he BU to keep banging aggressively on my door? All round a weird experience.

OP posts:
ThePlantsitter · 19/10/2021 12:48

I don't understand why people are saying 'you could have left the meeting' when the OP said she couldn't leave the meeting. That's the point. She couldn't leave the meeting Confused.

That's quite apart from the fact that pounding on the door and bellowing is fucking rude unless you're being pursued by a bear and need help or something.

CaptSkippy · 19/10/2021 12:49

@outofservice

So your job is more important than the postie trying to do theirs??
DUH! Her employer pays her, not the postie. They have a claim on her contracted hours, he doesn't.
acatcalledjohn · 19/10/2021 12:50

The sheer number of people excusing aggressive behaviour from a man towards a woman is appalling.

No wonder nothing ever fucking changes.

2Two · 19/10/2021 12:50

@AnotherMansCause

I'd be having words with the housemate who was expecting the parcel. If they knew they weren't going to be in, they should have rearranged delivery.
OP said no-one knew the parcel was arriving.
secretbookcase · 19/10/2021 12:50

@outofservice

So your job is more important than the postie trying to do theirs??
Don't be daft. The postie's job is to deliver the parcel or return it to the depot if no one is available to sign for it. Not to decide who is available. Not to aggressively insist someone abandons a presentation to open the door to him.
JesusIsAnyNameFree · 19/10/2021 12:50

@ThePlantsitter

I don't understand why people are saying 'you could have left the meeting' when the OP said she couldn't leave the meeting. That's the point. She couldn't leave the meeting Confused.

That's quite apart from the fact that pounding on the door and bellowing is fucking rude unless you're being pursued by a bear and need help or something.

Better be a big bear to get me to get up and leave an important meeting tbh 😂 but then I spent a chunk of my life in a place with bears so they don't seem all that scary to me. Mind you, if it's a polar bear I'm right there to open the door.
2Two · 19/10/2021 12:53

@outofservice

So your job is more important than the postie trying to do theirs??
Well, yes. There are no consequences for a postman other than maybe having to bring it back with other post another day, or shoving a postcard through the door telling the recipient how to collect the parcel. Consequences for messing up an important presentation could include not getting an important contract, missing out on a promotion, right up to being sacked.
Original poster
OttilieStonelady · 19/10/2021 12:55

@acatcalledjohn

The sheer number of people excusing aggressive behaviour from a man towards a woman is appalling.

No wonder nothing ever fucking changes.

This is honestly how it felt. I'll add, I have a non molestation order against my ex partner and anything like this scared the living shite out of me. I'm still on edge now. Guess it's ok though because he's a postie after all....
OP posts:
amazeandastonish · 19/10/2021 12:55

I've had parcel men do this to me. It doesn't help that I have my dog barking like crazy so I am doubly disturbed by noise.

My usual postie is great as is the usual Hermes delivery person. Anyone else just keeps banging and banging.

I once complained to royal mail when a postie opened my door and threw things in because I wasn't answering. It was an invasion of privacy and I now always lock the door. Royal Mail never responded to my complaint though.

ravenmum · 19/10/2021 12:56

Plus of he wasn’t trying to disturb her and dint realise, why on Earth did he bang in the door repeatedly? Why being aggressive? Why shouting?
I meant that e.g. he thought she was not answering for an unimportant reason (she was on the phone to her mate / watching TV) and didn't realise there was an important reason why she couldn't answer. Hence the aggression as he thought she was taking the piss.

you would think that with the number of people wfh nowadays, he would have an inkling of what was going on
Maybe he's 18 and totally inexperienced. Maybe he's got learning difficulties. Maybe he works two shifts and was too knackered to come up with the answer. Maybe he just can't imagine a job that would prevent you from answering the door. He's evidently not the only one who doesn't have an inkling, if this thread is anything to go by. But whatever the problem, better training might help.

ohtwatbollocks · 19/10/2021 12:56

I find it bonkers all the people saying you should have just answered the door OP 😅 I don't work from home but even I can see during a presentation wouldn't be the time to answer the door

Branleuse · 19/10/2021 12:57

@Viviennemary

Answer the door. What is wrong with people. So selfish and rude.
are you serious? The delivery wasnt for her, and a door knock is not a summons. OP was not available to take that delivery and shouldnt have been harrassed or intimidated by an impatient delivery driver who wanted her to take someone elses parcel.

God, I remember trying to study a few years ago with the OU and it was bad enough that the delivery guys wanted me to be sorting office for the entire street, but if it was an actual important presentation and they wouldnt just leave a card, then thats intrusive and not ok

2Two · 19/10/2021 12:58

you being too busy to answer means that he will have to come back again, which is unfair

Not sure if you've noticed, but a postman's job entails doing the same rounds every day. So, particularly given that OP shares the property with other households, it's highly likely that the postman will have to come back tomorrow with more post anyway.

galacticpixels · 19/10/2021 13:00

You were not unreasonable.

There are some meetings I could pop out from (a 1-1 with my manager for example) but if I was giving a presentation and I got up to answer the door it would have very negative consequences. For loads of reason - our meetings are hard to schedule in the first place being in multiple different time zones, I could be presenting to important clients etc. I probably wouldn't get fired but it would affect promotions, raises, relations with senior managers, presentation opportunities going forward...

TeacherMa · 19/10/2021 13:00

Could you pop a sign on the door advising you're working from home? I did similar when I was working at home for a few months. I think you can actually buy small ones now that say something along the lines of "I'm at home but unable to come to the door right now".

I don't think it would be unreasonable at all to complain to Royal Mail. He behaved unprofessionally and intimidated you. Even if this wasn't his intention, he should receive that feedback so his supervisor can advise him on his manner at work to prevent other customers feeling the same way.

theDudesmummy · 19/10/2021 13:02

There are many situations when WFH when you cannot leave the meeting, even just to go to the door. In my case I am doing medical assessments on vulnerable people, often discussing extreme trauma with great difficulty, I am not going to say "oh hang on I am just popping out", I need to be showing them they have my complete and undivided attention and concren.

My office is on the ground floor at the front of the house and the postie/delivery person could potentially see me through the window but I close the curtains when I am in a meeting. DH and DS also know when they come home that this is the signal I am in a meeting.

I would however have been hugely annoyed by this postie's behaviour in any case, and I would make a complaint to Royal Mail if I were you.

Sweettea1 · 19/10/2021 13:02

Bit late now but pop a sign on your door saying you will not be taking in parcels for the neighbours or do not disturb working from home or something along them lines.

Spidey66 · 19/10/2021 13:02

Being Devils Advocate here....
Postie can see you. He knows you're there. However he doesn't know you're working. He also doesnt know the parcel isnt for you, so as far as he knows hes trying to drlivervto someone who knows theyre at the door but not answering it.
Personally i would have answered it. Sometimes meetings get interrupted. An important phone call or IT issues. I would have just said "excuse me, delivery, back in a minute.''

acatcalledjohn · 19/10/2021 13:02

you being too busy to answer means that he will have to come back again, which is unfair

It's almost as if they haven't got a process for this stuff.

What is unfair is his unhinged behaviour banging on the door, disturbing the OP unnecessarily and possibly scaring her.

The postie can get to fuck.

yodaforpresident · 19/10/2021 13:03

Sounds like just another angry, entitled man.

You should definitely complain.

acatcalledjohn · 19/10/2021 13:03

@Spidey66

Being Devils Advocate here.... Postie can see you. He knows you're there. However he doesn't know you're working. He also doesnt know the parcel isnt for you, so as far as he knows hes trying to drlivervto someone who knows theyre at the door but not answering it. Personally i would have answered it. Sometimes meetings get interrupted. An important phone call or IT issues. I would have just said "excuse me, delivery, back in a minute.''

At least read the OP's posts...

2Two · 19/10/2021 13:03

The OP was able to look out of the window though to see who was banging on the door. If you are really invested in your presentation you keep at it (unless the fire alarm goes off) and don’t go and have a quick gawp out of the window.

Why assume they have to "go" anywhere to see out of the window? It's hardly unusual to have a desk near a window and hence to be able to see out of it without turning your head. Indeed, the original post makes it clear that OP was near the window, given that the postman said he could see her.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 19/10/2021 13:03

Ooh ooh the postie was trying to do his job he has to do his job you're stopping him doing his joooob.

Postal delivery people are doing their job when they take the mail out. When they deliver what can be delivered. When they go back with what cannot be delivered. When they redeliver. When they leave a card saying collect from post office. 🙄 She was in no way stopping him from doing his job.

If she'd chased him down the road, kneecapped him, grabbed his bag and flung it in the river, that would have been stopping him doing his job.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 19/10/2021 13:05

@Spidey66

Being Devils Advocate here.... Postie can see you. He knows you're there. However he doesn't know you're working. He also doesnt know the parcel isnt for you, so as far as he knows hes trying to drlivervto someone who knows theyre at the door but not answering it. Personally i would have answered it. Sometimes meetings get interrupted. An important phone call or IT issues. I would have just said "excuse me, delivery, back in a minute.''
Presumably, you have not once in your life presented to 100 people including the very top people of the company as well as customers that are deciding whether or not they're going to give your company millions and millions of pounds or not.
Anoisagusaris · 19/10/2021 13:09

If I said ‘excuse me, delivery’ during an important meeting I’d be told to get my arse back to the office pronto 🙄😆

Would you interrupt a meeting while in your workplace to take a personal delivery? No? Well then you don’t to it while wfh.

I wonder do fine posters even know what working entails?