Another holiday/ kids home alone thread

[LarryVeest]

WIBU to leave three older DC (12, 15, 16) at home while I go away from Saturday morning to Sunday evening. I'll be hundreds of miles away (but same country). We have great neighbours. 12 yr old and 15yr old permanently squabble, but they are all NT and reasonably sensible. It's fine, right?

No I don’t think it’s ok at all. Somehow I’d be fine with a lone 16 year old but with younger, squabbling siblings it’s a recipe for disaster and I feel they would all stoop to more immature levels

@LarryVeest

Really? This is literally the first time in 16 years that we've had this particular situation. Obviously we will be going - it's an unmissable event. We can get an overnight babysitter if need be, it just seemed a bit overly cautious, and the DC will probably protest!

Get the babysitter. You're the parent, who cares if the kids protest? Then you have someone responsible to phone and can enjoy yourself properly.

No way would I be leaving a 12 year old in the care of a 15 and 16 year old for an entire weekend just so you can go to a show FGS. An unforeseen emergency would be bad enough - but an adult jolly? YABVU!

I have a 12 year old and a 16 year old.
They are pretty sensible and the neighbours are great.
I wouldn’t leave them overnight though

Can the 12yo not go to stay with whoever you'd ask to babysit?

How are you not embarrassed by your replies OP or do you just like drama

@LarryVeest

Really? This is literally the first time in 16 years that we've had this particular situation. Obviously we will be going - it's an unmissable event. We can get an overnight babysitter if need be, it just seemed a bit overly cautious, and the DC will probably protest!

So get an overnight babysitter. Yes the kids will complain but they’re obviously not trusted to stay almost 2 days alone without parental supervision.

Just to clarify, I will definitely be going to the event. No need for me to miss out on anything. I can easily get an overnight babysitter. The kids will think I'm off my nut, but I can refer them to this thread :-D

@BurntO

How are you not embarrassed by your replies OP or do you just like drama

I’m guessing OP’s right to an unmissable show trumps her DC being left alone and god knows what could happen to them.

@LarryVeest

Really? This is literally the first time in 16 years that we've had this particular situation. Obviously we will be going - it's an unmissable event. We can get an overnight babysitter if need be, it just seemed a bit overly cautious, and the DC will probably protest!

No show is unmissable

Of course your 12 year old is too young to be left. Yabu

The OP's right to her jollies is clearly more important that parenting her DC properly

I would try to find a friend for 12 year old to stay with. Other two are old enough for one night.

I'm pretty lax on things like this and children being independent but I wouldnt, not if you're hundreds of miles away and it's overnight.

@LarryVeest

Really? This is literally the first time in 16 years that we've had this particular situation. Obviously we will be going - it's an unmissable event. We can get an overnight babysitter if need be, it just seemed a bit overly cautious, and the DC will probably protest!

They can protest all they like.

Your 12yo isn’t mature enough to be left unsupervised. Your 16yo is too young to be left in charge of squabbling siblings.

Your elder two are old enough to understand that the younger one needs a babysitter. That the younger one won’t understand is an example of why it’s needed.

I left my 8&9yo with their 16yo sibling from 7-12.30 on Saturday night. They squabble too (nothing physical). They were fine. I got one phone call from the youngest to settle a dispute, in exactly the same way I would’ve if I’d been home. I let them have a bit extra screen time and a later than normal bedtime so they were tired enough to go straight to sleep and there were no problems. Yours are much older too! Admittedly you’re leaving them for longer, but there’s little trouble they can get into when asleep! As long as they can safely feed themselves I don’t see a problem at their ages as a one off.

@zafferana

The OP's right to her jollies is clearly more important that parenting her DC properly

She's getting a babysitter. There's nothing wrong with that. Parents are allowed to have fun too.

I'm very relaxed and would have no problem going out for the night with these ages but away seems unfair on the 12 year old.
Totally understand why they can't go with you, of course, but you should make alternative plans for them.
I'm only just comfortable leaving 16yo overnight and I'd still say comfortable is a stretch and I have older step kids at home

I would trust the older dc alone, but not in charge of the 12 year old.

@CuckooCall

The older two would be fine by themselves. However, the 12 year old is too young to be left for that length of time without an adult present, and the eldest is too young to be given the responsibility of looking after the younger two for that length of time.

This ….ask if one of the 12 year old friends can have him for a sleepover .

Only you know your children op. If they will be glued to screens all weekend then they'll be fine. Dull but safe!
My 16yo and 13yo would probably be fine to be honest, as long as someone could check in a couple of times. I'm not sure how I would feel about the 16yo looking after 2 siblings though.
How far does the falling out go? Does it escalate into physical and do you have to step in, or is it just bickering?
Is there really no one who the 12yo could overnight with?
Will you be reachable in case of emergency, and would you be able to jump into a car and come home if necessary?

Could the 15-yr-old go and stay with a friend so the eldest and youngest are at home alone but the squabbling reduced?

I think the 12 is too young. It’s unlikely anything would happen but if it did then I think you might be scrutinised. Can 12 yr old have a sleepover with a friend?

Sleepover is tricky for youngest as best friend moved away. At a new school now, and has made some new friends, but I don't want DC staying with a family I don't know well.

Froth froth froth 🤣