WIBU to drop off 6 month old at nursery at 7 even though I don't start work til 9

[Katlow]

Going back to work tomorrow and LO is 6 months old. He's going to nursery a maximum of 3 days a week but it's going to depend on how my husbands shifts fall. I've got no idea what to expect at drop off. I was considering dropping him off early to avoid the hustle and bustle as nursery have said its 'mad' in the morning.
I was thinking I could throw some joggers and a jumper on and drop him off at around 7/7.30 then come home and get ready for work properly.
But then he's woken up this morning (he's usually up at 7) and he's so happy to see me. I don't know how I'd feel about literally getting him up and dressed then straight out the door. :(
How long does nursery drop off usually take? To get in the building etc. I'm so nervous and feeling a little bit guilty.
Bonus points for any answers which tell me how much your 6 month old loved nursery.

@Anonymous48 Scandinavian country. And people still complain that it is too expensive, that it should be free. Personally I think it should be more expensive, the (eco only) food itself probably cost more.. I don’t get how people can afford £44 a DAY..?

@Anonymice1 you're right. There's absolutely no way that that could even come close to just covering their costs. How can people think it's too expensive?

[quote Anonymice1]@Anonymous48 Scandinavian country. And people still complain that it is too expensive, that it should be free. Personally I think it should be more expensive, the (eco only) food itself probably cost more.. I don’t get how people can afford £44 a DAY..?[/quote]
I don’t get how you don’t get that salaries, cost of living, tax, government support vary massively from country to country!

[quote Anonymice1]@Anonymous48 Scandinavian country. And people still complain that it is too expensive, that it should be free. Personally I think it should be more expensive, the (eco only) food itself probably cost more.. I don’t get how people can afford £44 a DAY..?[/quote]
If you're on minimum wage, then yes, 44 pounds would eat up most (or all of that). Minimum wage isn't enough to live on, I think we all know that. But of course many people make way more money than that, and although child care costs might be a big chunk of their take home pay they still come out ahead.

I don’t get how people can afford £44 a DAY..?
It was £62 a day for us when DD was 1-2. It took an entire salary but it coincided with Covid so we didn’t spend money on babysitters or fun. People afford it by: cutting hours and using grandparents or other family instead; savings; using a childminder instead at a cheaper cost; sucking up that it will take an entire salary and you’ll go without some stuff for a bit, but keep career intact; credit cards – not forever but I know a few families who hit a crunch point when they had a second kid, for the months at the end of the first year in nursery; waiting til first is at school or age 3 and has free hours before having a second (that’s what we’re doing); quitting work because it’s not viable.

@Anonymous48 there are not many stay at home mums or dads here, I can see now that for some they might as well stay at home then.. Parents get 18 months paid parental leave here (up to the age of 12), most decide to go back to work when the child is one and save the rest for school holidays etc. But, it’s paid in taxes but I don’t mind that at all.

@hotmeatymilk it’s interesting to read.

[quote Anonymice1]@Anonymous48 there are not many stay at home mums or dads here, I can see now that for some they might as well stay at home then.. Parents get 18 months paid parental leave here (up to the age of 12), most decide to go back to work when the child is one and save the rest for school holidays etc. But, it’s paid in taxes but I don’t mind that at all.[/quote]
Complete opposite to the US where I live! I got 6 weeks paid maternity leave and went back to work when my child was 8 weeks old. We used a childminder rather than a nursey because it was cheaper.

@CrabbyCreek awful? I have a career.I’m fulfilled. I’m happy. So naw to your head tilt,.
Did I mention I don’t do the pick up, only the drop off. So yes 7-6 works for us as a family
The only people I’ve ever had judgement & jipp from are other woman. No man has ever muttered awful or asked me why I continue to work FT? Ever.

Even worse, @EspressoDoubleShot – you don’t care enough to pick up? You leave it to your partner instead of waiting at the gate to apologise to your child for prioritising money over staring into their precious face all day? I’ve got social services on speed-dial. Outrageous.

No, two adult parents can accommodate this so that it doesn’t automatically fall to the woman
That’s what partners do, accommodate and share parenting
It works I’m up and off early and dp picks up
There is no presumption it’ll be me drop off & pick up

On balance You’re right Tell social services come get me @hotmeatymilk
I’m a bad un. An avaricious shell who worships at the altar of mere money

Our nursery wouldn't let you go over 10 hours per day when funding was in use, it also didn't cover the breakfast session so you had to pay for that.

@EspressoDoubleShot

On balance You’re right Tell social services come get me *@hotmeatymilk* I’m a bad un. An avaricious shell who worships at the altar of mere money

I think *@hotmeatymilk* is on your side firmly and was being sarcastic/tongue in cheek

Yes, 100% being impish – I am rarely on serious form in AIBU

I know that @hotmeatymilk is doing her civic duty,she’s right I’m a bad un
Call the EDT pronto.

[quote Anonymice1]@Anonymous48 Scandinavian country. And people still complain that it is too expensive, that it should be free. Personally I think it should be more expensive, the (eco only) food itself probably cost more.. I don’t get how people can afford £44 a DAY..?[/quote]
I paid £1200 per month for 2 kids, that included the 30 free hours reduction and a significant 2nd child discount. Without the discount it would have been £1500 even with the free hours. Thankfully I earn a fair wack more than that as does DH. I understand why some people feel that there needs to be a SAHP. I'm glad we didn't need to.

@EspressoDoubleShot

No, two adult parents can accommodate this so that it doesn’t automatically fall to the woman That’s what partners do, accommodate and share parenting It works I’m up and off early and dp picks up There is no presumption it’ll be me drop off & pick up

That only works with a conveniently located nursery though. We've ended up having to select a nursery and school on my way to work but it means DH can't go drop off or pick and get them home unless he takes the car and I WFH which isn't always possible. The other options were untenable as our jobs mean we can't guarantee the time we need to be in or can leave and there'd be 2 very different drop off and collection points.

DH does still manage to collect eldest (by train) and take him (walking) to swimming but they can't get home from swimming without me picking them (and DC2) up.

Learnthroughplay3 what the hell type of nurseries did you work in? You talk about young staff, staged photos, lies about food???
I've been in childcare for 15 years and never seen this. The staff I've worked with have ranged from 17 to 68, highly qualified to unqualified, but none ever staged photos or lied to parents.
Any staff looking bored or not interacting with the children get pulled up on it immediately.
And babies who are there 10 or 11 hours don't need to have someone interacting with them constantly, often they just want time to play alone or watch others or just chill out for a while.

OP, try it, see how it goes. If it's too long for you DC you can start to drop them later. All decisions can be changed.

I’m simply saying we make it work that we share drop off & pick up
Occasionally it changes
But the principle always has been it doesn’t automatically fall to mum eg me
You and your partner will of course be guided by location,individual demands of your jobs

@Whichcatthatcat I haven't mentioned young members of staff

Sorry, someone on here did.

What did you do? Did you whistleblow anonymously?contact HQ?contact OFSTED?

Or just replicate anecdotal heresay on the internet to prove a post, to add gore and embellish your story

So do tell. With your strong sense of injustice what did you do?
@Learnthroughplay3

EspressoDoubleShot

The difference between a sub-standard nursery and a substandard e.g. dentist is that you wouldn't use the the dentist twice. A small baby can't tell you if there is a problem with their nursery and yet has to spend the greater part of their waking life there.