Help! Son must not have access to child trust fund

[Comingup]

My son will be 18 soon and is addicted to weed, he is aggressive and abusive. Can anyone tell me what actually happens when18th birthday comes up? Do they write to the child? Can I stop it from maturing or whatever it does. I am really panicking as I have had a massive altercation with him where he admits spending a fortune every week on weed. I plan to ring the company but after tonight don't think I will sleep at the thought of him having any more money to harm himself with.

@tunnocksreturns2019

I turned my DS’s into a Junior ISA. I’ve added a bit, not much as like previous posters I don’t want him accessing a big amount at 18.

He didn’t know it existed (he’s 12) until we opened an account for him with a debit card with the same bank recently (Nationwide). Now every time he logs in he can see the ISA amount as well as his current account because they are both in his name and automatically linked! I checked with Nationwide and there’s nothing that can be done about it. The money can’t be accessed until 18 but I still think it’s really daft it shows up on an under 18s account. DS was very sensible about it (and said wow thank you ). He may be much less sensible in six years.

Do you mind me asking why you opened a bank account for a 12 year old?

@teaandpastries why would you not? I had one at 13, I was working PT, got some pocket money.. if I went into town then I had access to withdraw my own money. And grandparents would often transfer some on birthdays etc

What were the terms of the will? It may be that it shouldn’t have been paid in to the ctf. It isunusual for large amounts of money to be given freely at 18.

Keep him in the dark. Intercept all mail. If he asks as peers get one tell him you only put the initial £500 &;the £250 top up in one. Find a grand to give to him. Watch as he blows it all and know you did the right thing.
Personally I'd fraudulently close it down and put the £ in an instrument you have complete control of and pass it on when he's more sensible. But that's me, you may not be comfortable with committing fraud.

Do you mind me asking why you opened a bank account for a 12 year old?

That's pretty normal

I just don't think the OP needs to take on any more guilt about the way her Ds is, because she put money into a savings account in his name.

@solos She should feel no guilt and I never said she should. I think I said the exact opposite. But if anyone is reading this and thinking about saving for their child, I think it is worth saying that if you save for a child in their own name, then they access that money at 18 - maybe consider if that a good idea? Considering none of us know how our adorable babies will be at 17/18?

And for the OP worth repeating that what someone is at 17/18 is not necessarily what they will be at 27/28. People mature and move on and do better.

@clockover

Do you mind me asking why you opened a bank account for a 12 year old?

That's pretty normal

yup I am in my 60's and I had a post office savings account at age 10. bank accounts were very different then. No one was entitled to have one, you had to apply and could be refused and no debit cards. For loads of working class adults, post office savings was where they kept their money. Today's bank accounts for kids are the modern day equivalent.

Is there anyone, relative or friend of the family, that he may listen to about investing some of the money?

Do you mind me asking why you opened a bank account for a 12 year old?

Normal I'd say, I opened my first bank account when I was about 8, Bank of Scotland Supersaver or something with a Squirrel logo. And a free stationary pack
When I was 12 I switched to a different bank to get a cash card and a free calculator - to match the card

Banks used to be all about getting young people, once people open accounts, it something like 75% will never change banks.

@clockover

This is the reason we never put any extra money into the CTF account, only the initial £250 which matured to £1200 by the time he was 18.

If he is 18 now then he would have been given a second payment though?

Yep, should have got a top up at 7 years old (?). I thought the initial payment was £500 but seems on here I'm wrong.

Perhaps you could persuade or bribe him to put it into a trust?

My mum and uncle did this when their 60yo sister was about to inherit a large amount of money. She had limited capacity following a stroke (like a typical 12yo) but they wouldn't have been able to get her declared legally incapable. They prepared a trust and presented her with papers to sign. They were very persuasive.

The trustees then doled out regular amounts of money to her. They had the discretion to hand over larger amounts if she could make a good case that it was actually needed... but whenever she said, "I need an extra £2000 to buy a new TV" they told her to save up for it, and offered to help by holding back some of her monthly allowance until she could afford the TV.

Given your son's addiction, you might be able to offer him, say, £200 cash to blow instantly on the day if he signs the papers to put the proceeds of the CTF into a trust. I guess you'd have to do that very soon after his 18th birthday.

[quote Pallisers]**@Solo “Which parent stares at their gorgeous baby and thinks "nope, I'll save nothing for you as I'm sure you'll be irresponsible/a gambler/drug addict." We want the world for our children, so will save what we can for them.”

What? I looked at my baby and thought "you are adorable and I could eat you up and you will probably solve world hunger and everyone will love you" Then I made financial decisions based on what I knew of the world and how it generally worked. So I saved my money in my own name.

I can understand what happened to OP and feel for her. God knows things happened in the teen years that I would never have anticipated . But if anyone is reading this who is thinking about saving for their child I think it is worth saying - keep it in your own name.[/quote]
But if you were made banktupt or had an unscrupulous partner the child may never get the money. If its in their name it can't be touched until they're an ADULT which is what the OPS son is so all those posters advising her to try to steal the money or lie about just stop. It's his and ot may be that it works out for the best rather than getting blown on weed. My kids still have ne as trustee on their savings books cos it makes it harder to just take a tenner out here and there but that is their choice, they had their money as adults and have always known about it.

@worriedatthemoment it was in this - www.onefamily.com/child-trust-fund/

Ds was born in 2003, invested £250 but in another scheme, at some point that closed down and all monies were transferred to OneFamily. He got his pay out this year of £1200 and some odd pounds. This does not constitute financial advice

Ds2 is 15 and his is forecast for about the same but his is with another company. It started off in Children's Mutual and they closed and transferred to Foresters.

With the savings accounts they were poor investments however we were not prepared to gamble that money as we had Grandparents paying in a small amount every year.

I had been a uni with people who for the first time weren't under the watch of parents or boarding school and I saw first hand some of them go completely off the rails, blowing through either their grant money or their parents' money. It stayed with me, hence the separate savings account because I didn't know if Ds would be in a good place when he got it.

Thank you to pj's. I appreciate them all. I know the ship has sailed as someone said.
He doesn't listen to anyone except his group of mates, who he says all do the same. I've tried appealing to him in terms of future plans, mental health,progression to harder drugs, telling him how it is affecting me. He could not care less. He openly has paraphernalia in his room, and won't engage with college at all. He turns up,is disruptive and is on performance plans which come to nothing.
I myself have tried to access IAPT through the GP to help me cope, as I've started to have really bad panic and literally thoughts that I don't want to be here.

You want to save him from making a mistake.

Maybe the life lesson he needs to learn is not to waste money & he will learn that because he blew his trust fund.

Stop trying to control & protect him - let him know your feelings but you can’t stop him not should you.

Can I just add that people on benefits can't save it in their own name. I'm on tax credits and have to keep adding birthday and Xmas money to the CTF as I can't have large savings in my name. My dcs money is so vulnerable to them going off the rails.

I seriously think I'll change my address on the account just in case.

If you’re having suicidal thoughts because your son smokes weed then you need professional help to deal with your anxiety issues.

I am seeking help. It's like living with an abuser, I think anxiety in this situation would be pretty normal. He's not one of these chilled cool dudes where everything is relaxed. He's a volatile,aggressive almost fully grown man threatening and screaming obscenities, and hiding my stuff if he doesn't get money,or telling me I'll have the house smashed up next time I come back.

Will it be enough to enable him to leave home and rent somewhere? Let him blow it in rent and food and weed. It will soon be gone!

Well then you need you involve the police.

And yeah, call the police

When he is 18 tell him to move out and fund his own life.
May be the wake up he needs.

He won't see the post either then.

My DC's CTFs burnt themselves out - there is no money left.

So I would tell him - if you have to tell him anything - that, and hide the post.

He needs to leave home. Not because of the money but because of the abuse. Get police involved if you need to.
Personally I wouldn’t be sure this is purely a weed problem. But you can’t continue to live like this.

@Comingup mine both got £250 CTF but not a second £250 age 7. I want the other £250 now. I thought the government stopped the second payment. Personally I would keep the letters when they arrive for a while so he doesn't have the money (one of mine is 18 next month and I got a letter first telling me Ds will get a letter shortly) It's not like you are steeling the money. But he might change in a year or so. My mum put money away for me when I was 18. But it was in her name so when I turned 18 she bought herself a car with the money. Now that felt like she was taking my money...you are not keeping it...so I don't know why people are saying you shouldn't do that. No harm in not telling him for a while.