Help! Son must not have access to child trust fund

[Comingup]

My son will be 18 soon and is addicted to weed, he is aggressive and abusive. Can anyone tell me what actually happens when18th birthday comes up? Do they write to the child? Can I stop it from maturing or whatever it does. I am really panicking as I have had a massive altercation with him where he admits spending a fortune every week on weed. I plan to ring the company but after tonight don't think I will sleep at the thought of him having any more money to harm himself with.

@UseTheRakeDear how on earth did your £250 mature to over a grand ?

@Solo “Which parent stares at their gorgeous baby and thinks "nope, I'll save nothing for you as I'm sure you'll be irresponsible/a gambler/drug addict." We want the world for our children, so will save what we can for them.”

What? I looked at my baby and thought "you are adorable and I could eat you up and you will probably solve world hunger and everyone will love you" Then I made financial decisions based on what I knew of the world and how it generally worked. So I saved my money in my own name.

I can understand what happened to OP and feel for her. God knows things happened in the teen years that I would never have anticipated . But if anyone is reading this who is thinking about saving for their child I think it is worth saying - keep it in your own name.

Yes underneath he shows flashes of the highly intelligent, sharp witted young man he can be. He is lovely looking which people comment on. But he switches in a second if things don't immediately go his way, and he calls me worse names than I ever heard ie "c#nt "etc. I just want my son back.

Not honest, but... if you did hide the mail, could you tell him "guess what, your trust fund has come in and it's gone up to four grand!" (Or whatever suitable amount) and give him that to use as he wishes, while keeping the real fund apart for now. If he wasn't like this a year ago, another year might bring him back around..

I’d give him an ultimatum, put most of the money into savings for something like a house deposit, or move out. If he is so a headstrong and naive perhaps he should learn the hard way. It’s an extremely unfortunate situation but one that might teach him a huge life lesson.

Comingup, if it is any help at 17/18 their brains still haven't matured fully and won't for a while and if he is doing weed etc there is that going on. It could all resolve itself when he matures or hangs around with the right person or meets the right significant other. 17 is so so young. I hope you have some support for yourself as this must be so hard for you.

[quote 621CustardCream438]@Solo “Which parent stares at their gorgeous baby and thinks "nope, I'll save nothing for you as I'm sure you'll be irresponsible/a gambler/drug addict." We want the world for our children, so will save what we can for them.”

Who the duck said they wouldn’t get money?! Or that I wasn’t saving? We as the parents have savings accounts, into which all our spare money goes. Children will almost certainly get tens of thousands off us, if not more, but it’ll be given when they are adults and when we think it’s appropriate. I’m not naive enough to put it into a bank account with their name on it so they get it on their eighteenth birthday.

Bloody hell.

And actually one of mine has special needs. Almost certainly will be competent and able to manage their finances as an adult, but I’d be concerned they’d be awfully vulnerable as an eighteen year old if it was known they had significant money. So yeah, sometimes things are just a tad more complicated than staring at a perfect baby.[/quote]
Maybe I should've highlighted this part which you were presumably aiming at the OP:

but if you have added to it I think you bear some responsibility here - did it never occur to you this might happen?
Why would anyone that wasn't partaking of the drug-addled lifestyle themselves, give any consideration to their young child becoming a drug addict. I thought mine was perfect, sensible and he was certainly intelligent. It never occurred to me that my perfect little Ds would take up smoking weed. Fortunately, he grew up, saw the light, and stopped. Unfortunately for him, I couldn't save a penny for him as I don't have anything to save for my kids. Happy for you that you do for yours though - genuinely. I just don't think the majority of parents can contemplate their children being foolish with drugs or any other vice.

@Tailendofsummer

Not honest, but... if you did hide the mail, could you tell him "guess what, your trust fund has come in and it's gone up to four grand!" (Or whatever suitable amount) and give him that to use as he wishes, while keeping the real fund apart for now. If he wasn't like this a year ago, another year might bring him back around..

not possible as the son has to claim it and it has to be moved into an account in his name, as I understand it.

[quote worriedatthemoment]@UseTheRakeDear how on earth did your £250 mature to over a grand ? [/quote]
Some children got £500 each. It depends on income.

If he doesn't know about it hide the letters that will come through to him before his 18th birthday. The trust fund will become and adult ISA. My DS can't figure out how to access his apparently it's complicated, according to him, so it's just sitting there at the moment. The letters didn't arrive for DS before his 18th birthday so I had to chase them (which was difficult in itself) DS wouldn't have known about the money at all if I hadn't told him.

But if anyone is reading this who is thinking about saving for their child I think it is worth saying - keep it in your own name.

Some people don't have the flexibility to do this because they're on benefits or debt plans, etc, so they have to save it in the child's name or not at all.

[quote worriedatthemoment]@UseTheRakeDear how on earth did your £250 mature to over a grand ? [/quote]
If you get 8% return pa over 18 years then you have £1000

Or if you start with £500 you only need 4%

I'm not sure all the posters on here understand how the CTF works. And saying he's going to fund his habit anyway so just as well let him have it are you for real? You aren't exactly going to make it easy for him by funding it! And it could lead to him affording other drugs. If he earns the money himself then that's his decision and his money he's wasting.

not possible as the son has to claim it and it has to be moved into an account in his name, as I understand it.
Well yes, probably, but they must allow for a reasonable amount of time before it's claimed - not everyone will think of doing it at 18. OP needs to buy some time, not keep it from him forever.

Bless you Op, any way you can persuade him to put it into a lifetime ISA?

Given the comments by other posters I'm not sure it will be as easy as hiding letters. I hope you get a solution.

I'm so sorry OP, I can understand your fears about this.

It may turn out that when he gets the information for himself he realises what a life changing sum of money this is and be sensible. However, you may have to prepare yourself for him learning a very difficult and expensive life lesson.

And saying he's going to fund his habit anyway so just as well let him have it are you for real? You aren't exactly going to make it easy for him by funding it!

Well, it's his legally when he turns 18, so that ship has sailed.

It's too late for OP to decide whether to give it to him now, as it's already in a trust in his name that matures when he reaches 18.

Obviously, it's unfortunate, but the wheels were set in motion for this when the money was deposited - it's not like the question is "should I give my son a huge pile of cash?", because it's already been given to him.

This is the reason we never put any extra money into the CTF account, only the initial £250 which matured to £1200 by the time he was 18.

If he is 18 now then he would have been given a second payment though?

If he earns the money himself then that's his decision and his money he's wasting.

It will be his money he's wasting from the CTF too.

Op while you still have control are you able to move some of it into your name? Or longer term trust?

Fingers crossed for you.
The fear of my kids blowing their money is the main reason I avoided JISAs but that's easy to say after you've heard of a kid blowing it.

[quote Pallisers]**@Solo “Which parent stares at their gorgeous baby and thinks "nope, I'll save nothing for you as I'm sure you'll be irresponsible/a gambler/drug addict." We want the world for our children, so will save what we can for them.”

What? I looked at my baby and thought "you are adorable and I could eat you up and you will probably solve world hunger and everyone will love you" Then I made financial decisions based on what I knew of the world and how it generally worked. So I saved my money in my own name.

I can understand what happened to OP and feel for her. God knows things happened in the teen years that I would never have anticipated . But if anyone is reading this who is thinking about saving for their child I think it is worth saying - keep it in your own name.[/quote]
Then I made financial decisions based on what I knew of the world and how it generally worked. So I saved my money in my own name.

Maybe not every one of us thinks that way, though. Maybe not everyone has money to save for their Dc's - I certainly haven't done. I didn't think about the way the world was as such, I just taught/teach my kids right from wrong, taught them about finances, etc. I taught them that smoking, drug-taking, and gambling aren't good for them or their finances, too. It didn't stop my Ds from starting to smoke at 17 and then trying and becoming addicted to weed.
And then you have the tax free savings accounts for children. That's tempting too. If I had been able to save for them, that'd certainly have be a consideration.

I just don't think the OP needs to take on any more guilt about the way her Ds is, because she put money into a savings account in his name.

Which parent stares at their gorgeous baby and thinks "nope, I'll save nothing for you as I'm sure you'll be irresponsible/a gambler/drug addict." We want the world for our children, so will save what we can for them

I absolutely was worried my dc would become gamblers or drug addicts and it’s the whole reason I didn’t top up the ctf. My father was an addict and died when I was a teen as a result of his addiction. I have to be at work in 5 hours and I’m on my phone because I’ve got shit control. My DH has 2 relatives who’ve gambled their homes and businesses away (gambling vv prevalent in our culture). I know some people just don’t know anyone with addiction issues but it’s naive as fuck to think it’s only something that happens to other people. Every addict is someone’s baby. The OPs ds was once an adorable baby. You can financially support your dc without having to hand over everything you have ever saved at 18. Even without addiction people often make short term choices at 18, which isn’t appropriate with long term money. I’ve paid for driving lessons and cars before 18, and am prepared to contribute towards university, houses, babies, weddings over the next 20 years or so. I don’t need to hand over a wad at 18 and say “this is for your house deposit in 8 years time and for a pram in 10 years and put the rest towards your honeymoon”.

I think it’s ridiculous to think you can hide the post and keep it from him. He is in college and presumably has same age friends from school. It will be being talked about and even a regular kid will be conscious of it. An addict will be hyper aware of what money is available and how to get it. Your best bet may be to try to persuade him to save a huge chunk of it. A LISA would be a good option as you struggle to get the money back without big penalties unless it’s for a house deposit. The government chip in 25% up to 1k a year so it’s heavily incentivised. An addict isn’t going to want to do this and you can’t force him but maybe he has moments of being sensible. He’s holding down a job and is still in college so all is not lost.

@Meltinthemiddle

I'm not sure all the posters on here understand how the CTF works. And saying he's going to fund his habit anyway so just as well let him have it are you for real? You aren't exactly going to make it easy for him by funding it! And it could lead to him affording other drugs. If he earns the money himself then that's his decision and his money he's wasting.

its all his money

@SylvanasWindrunner

There is this:

'If your child lacks the mental capacity to manage their account when it matures
You, or a close friend or relative, need to apply to the Court of Protection (COP) for a financial deputyship order so you can manage your child’s account when they turn 18. Once the account matures, the money can either be taken out or transferred into an ISA.

In Scotland, applications need to be made to the Office of the Public Guardian in Scotland.

In Northern Ireland, applications need to be made to the Office of Care and Protection.'

Perhaps there's an argument that being reliant on drugs makes him lack the mental capacity? But I don't know how you would be able to prove that.

An order from the a Court of Protection his would usually be used for someone with severe mental illness, brain damage or dementia, if they weren't able to manage their own affairs. You may not like what (you think) he'd spend the money on, and yes, I know it's illegal. But there no proof that he might not use the cash to find his life around, pay for a college course or start a business so I think it's very unlikely you'd get anywhere with this angle.

@Lockdownbear

Op while you still have control are you able to move some of it into your name? Or longer term trust?

Fingers crossed for you.
The fear of my kids blowing their money is the main reason I avoided JISAs but that's easy to say after you've heard of a kid blowing it.

The OP has no access or control