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Original poster

Help! Son must not have access to child trust fund

402 replies

Comingup · 17/10/2021 20:34

My son will be 18 soon and is addicted to weed, he is aggressive and abusive. Can anyone tell me what actually happens when18th birthday comes up? Do they write to the child? Can I stop it from maturing or whatever it does. I am really panicking as I have had a massive altercation with him where he admits spending a fortune every week on weed. I plan to ring the company but after tonight don't think I will sleep at the thought of him having any more money to harm himself with.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 17/10/2021 21:30

It's illegal but I'd try and intercept any letters regarding it.

PooWillyNameChange · 17/10/2021 21:30

Cripes this is my worst nightmare, we have approx 30k in DDs and she's 13. For subsequent children we've been saving in our own ISAs for this reason.

I'd be inclined to lose the letter to him and not inform him and hope he's not savvy enough to use the government calculator and work out he has it himself. And get him some professional help ASAP.

I'm so sorry OP this sounds so hard.

gardeninggirl68 · 17/10/2021 21:30

great idea....intercept the post!?? he will know communication is imminent

how to alienate your teens further.....only on mumsnet! a step by step guide

he's an adult

Meltinthemiddle · 17/10/2021 21:30

Coming you know I am going through the exactly the same thing with my ds. Its been one of my fears. I've kept wuist about the account and will be intercepting his bank letter until he is mature enough and off the weed.

icanbewhatiwant · 17/10/2021 21:34

@ejhhhhh the government gave them the money. Parents couldn't invest in their own name.

AutumnLeafy · 17/10/2021 21:36

I think unfortunately it is his money. So it's up to him what he spends it on. If this is drugs then that is his choice, it must be heartbreaking for you though. Do you have support?

Yourstupidityexhaustsme · 17/10/2021 21:37

I'll go against the grain here.

Keep an eye open for letters, confiscate any post.

If he asks for it tell him, if he doesn't don't.

catsandhens · 17/10/2021 21:37

of course the company cant not pay out on your say so - you could be abusive, or not even a relative etc. They will write to your DS but some companies (inc. the one I worked for) will phone to chase the bank details and will insist on trying to track your son down
Ultimately you may not agree with his life choices but I'm not sure illegally trying to hide his money from him puts you in the strongest position

Muchmorethan · 17/10/2021 21:39

I think... if you don't tell the CTF what to do with it i.e transfer into DS own account... then they automatically transfer it into one of their "holding" accounts.

Therefore if you can intercept any mail, you might be able to postpone him getting his hands on it

DappyApple · 17/10/2021 21:41

I completely forgot about dds trust fund until dd was a few months away from her 18th. I had no idea where it was or how much was in there. I had to apply to the Hmrc to find it!
It turned out the statements had been going to our old address for the last 15 years!

Dd had absolutely no idea that there ‘was’ a trust fund until she saw the original trust fund vouchers/paperwork with her name on it!

I was able to set up an online account to keep tabs on it. And dd was then able to claim control when she turned 18. But I’m sure that there was an option to have it paid into my account on her behalf.

Also I wasn’t sent any letters in the post beforehand about how to access the trust fund everything was done by email.
They only sent a letter when the money had been paid and the account was closed.

UseTheRakeDear · 17/10/2021 21:43

This is the reason we never put any extra money into the CTF account, only the initial £250 which matured to £1200 by the time he was 18.

We set up a child's savings account in his name but controlled by us, we could empty it at any stage. As it is Ds is very sensible so has had that money which he has invested.

Re the CTF Ds had to decide if he wanted it reinvested with the same company or release the money. The reinvestment gave him a couple of options with varying risks. He chose to liquidate the account and add the money to the CTF money. The letter from them outlined the options for him, but sadly it is their money at 18.

Chickmad · 17/10/2021 21:43

My DD tracked hers down herself last year. Proved who she was and took control of it at aged 17. She got £1700 this year when it paid out at 18.

Sadly with addiction you have to let them hit rock bottom. My DS blew through £5k in a 3 week period. It was his money and nothing I could do.

Hiding the post is the best idea. But not foolproof as I say, there are ways they can track down the CTF without.

My daughter's was one that was closed but migrated to another institution.

Sometimeswinning · 17/10/2021 21:44

^how to alienate your teens further.....only on mumsnet! a step by step guide

he's an adult^

It's almost like parents will do anything to protect their children! Not you though obviously.

LonginesPrime · 17/10/2021 21:49

Don't rob him of his rock bottom. This may teach him something. Protecting him from the consequences of his actions won't.

I agree with this.

It's legally his money and making stupid decisions isn't the same as lacking mental capacity.

You can only do so much to protect another person from themselves, OP. I know it's frustrating, but I'd suggest not mentioning the CTF or how to spend it so he doesn't view it as something you have strong feelings about.

Anon778833 · 17/10/2021 21:55

I think you have to just let him have it. Stopping him getting it is only a short term solution.

gardeninggirl68 · 17/10/2021 21:55

@Sometimeswinning

^how to alienate your teens further.....only on mumsnet! a step by step guide

he's an adult^

It's almost like parents will do anything to protect their children! Not you though obviously.

what do i need to protect him from? he's working, having driving lessons and getting a car with his money. ....he has never bothered with drugs, alcohol or much else, he wants a car to get to work. not sure what i'm protecting him from...
Reviewer123456 · 17/10/2021 21:57

Is this what the gov gave £250 to each child to encourage saving? I have a 17 and 15 year old and I am sure I did all the paperwork for it but that was at a different address and I did not add to it.

Sometimeswinning · 17/10/2021 21:59

what do i need to protect him from? he's working, having driving lessons and getting a car with his money. ....he has never bothered with drugs, alcohol or much else, he wants a car to get to work. not sure what i'm protecting him from...

But imagine if he wasn't. Would you not do your best? (Not always ethical, legal, helpful) But parents are sometimes desperate. My children are all under 12. I can, however, still empathise.

RedHelenB · 17/10/2021 22:00

@HeartsAndClubs

It may not be an issue anyway. DN turned 18 recently and rang whatever line it is you have to talk to and was told all the funds closed 2 years ago and there is no way of accessing them any more.

I don’t know anyone else who has one, but I do know that he’s been told by the gov team that he won’t be given any money.

That can't be right.
Tryagainplease · 17/10/2021 22:01

I don’t think you can do anything legally. Morally, IMO you can’t hide the letter either.
Time for an honest talk with him. Tell him about the money and explain your worries. Try and reason with him and suggest alternative language for him to spend it on. If it doesn’t work though, sadly he can buy what he likes.

mofro · 17/10/2021 22:04

@HeartsAndClubs

It may not be an issue anyway. DN turned 18 recently and rang whatever line it is you have to talk to and was told all the funds closed 2 years ago and there is no way of accessing them any more.

I don’t know anyone else who has one, but I do know that he’s been told by the gov team that he won’t be given any money.

That’s rubbish! My son was 18 last year and got his with no issues

They contact the child directly

HootieOwls · 17/10/2021 22:06

what do i need to protect him from? he's working, having driving lessons and getting a car with his money. ....he has never bothered with drugs, alcohol or much else, he wants a car to get to work. not sure what i'm protecting him from...
But....but...this isn't about your son. Confused It's about the OP's son. She is the one who is asking the question.

You remind me of EYFS children who when a class mate has a birthday put up,
their hands and tell you that on a different day they had a birthday.

Greydaysandrainbows · 17/10/2021 22:06

This is why I paid nothing into mine. I wanted control. I decided for her it's money for a car / uni / party but I 'wrote it off' as money that was useful. As younger ones were born after 2011 - I've suggested to her. Keep it until youngest is 18 and then have a joint party.

TracyLords · 17/10/2021 22:07

I find mumsnet hilarious when people have strong opinions about how something works and they are completely wrong.. but are so sure that they are right

HollowTalk · 17/10/2021 22:10

What would happen if you just looked out for the mail and hid anything for him from him?