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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never speak to her again- CF!

686 replies

Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 15:10

I have a long term school ‘friend’, let’s call her S. I hear from her very sporadically and most recently, when she wants something: sponsorship money from me for one of her ‘challenges’ to stay in my central city home (!)… but folks, I give you the best one to date today…

Text out of the blue.. not even a ‘how are you’.. can I pick her son up from the airport (!) on Wednesday as he’s flying in alone (he is 10) from his dad’s abroad. You’re thinking wtaf, right?

The text goes on.. she can’t and her new DP are holidaying in the south of France and their flight doesn’t get in to airport until 5pm.. so the wee mite is alone for 4 hours after travelling alone. At 10. Jesus!

It ends ‘would obviously be great to see you too!!’

AIBU to think cheeky fucker and never speak to the self centred cow again?

OP posts:
PinkSyCo · 17/10/2021 22:00

PinkSyCo
No your lack of response cannot be taken as a yes, but it could be taken as a maybe. Apart from stubbornness or cowardice I just can’t understand the reason that you would you not just tell her ‘no!’ 🤷🏻‍♀️
Agree. Much easier to say no. End of

But we seem to be in the minority

I said before seems petty to not answer

Yes she’s a cf

So just say no

I’ve read all of OP’s posts now and have come to the conclusion that she is very very angry with herself as much as she is at her friend ( and anyone on here who even slightly disagrees with her) for being too afraid to tell CF friend an outright no.

DysmalRadius · 17/10/2021 22:00

@Kiduknot

If worst came to worst, and he is stranded and social services are involved, you’ll have to give statements etc, obviously saying what you’ve said on here. As a pp said, a simple texted no, will avoid all that. It wouldn’t get to the statement stage and her word/your word, as you’ll have proof you never agreed in the first place.
If it gets to the stage that social services are involved, then they will be asking the parents why they didn't make arrangements, not going after the OP over NOT responding to a single text!! You don't need 'proof' that you didn't agree to something and no social workerwould take a vague text asking for a favour as evidence that the op was even involved,let alone needing to make a statement!!
ftw163532 · 17/10/2021 22:00

@Kiduknot

If worst came to worst, and he is stranded and social services are involved, you’ll have to give statements etc, obviously saying what you’ve said on here. As a pp said, a simple texted no, will avoid all that. It wouldn’t get to the statement stage and her word/your word, as you’ll have proof you never agreed in the first place.
Grin
ftw163532 · 17/10/2021 22:02

I’ve read all of OP’s posts now and have come to the conclusion that she is very very angry with herself as much as she is at her friend ( and anyone on here who even slightly disagrees with her) for being too afraid to tell CF friend an outright no.

Grin Grin just stop

LoisWooookersonsLastNerve · 17/10/2021 22:02

The op was asking if she should end the friendship not if she should pick the boy up or reply. CF didn't give flight details so can't assume no reply means yesConfused

Buttercup54321 · 17/10/2021 22:02

Tell her you will be 200 miles away.

PinkSyCo · 17/10/2021 22:04

grin grin just stop

NO.

See OP, see how easy that was. Smile

Justilou1 · 17/10/2021 22:06

I certainly wouldn’t have picked the kid up, but I wouldn’t have blocked her either - because I’m a nosey git and would have wanted to see her beg and wheedle and maybe wonder what her solution would have been. (Hopefully getting her smug arse on a plane and sorting her own kid out like a grownup, but that never happens.)

ftw163532 · 17/10/2021 22:07

I would be finding out from her what is going on, and why she isn't changing her plans, and what else is going on in the background, and being honest with her in a fair and adult way about the fact that you are hurt that she only ever contacts you to ask for things and that you unfortunately no longer see the friendship in the same way.

Why on earth would anyone do that in this specific scenario?

Pishybreeks · 17/10/2021 22:07

The replies on this thread are proving to me that there are contrary posters that will pile on to the op no matter the circumstances. I see it over and over on here. It just takes one or 2 to be critical of the op then there is a pile on of posters picking apart and arguing at the op. Usually though the aibu isn't as cut and dried as this one. Its a weird Aibu phenomenon, someone should do a study.

DroopyClematis · 17/10/2021 22:08

@MissMaple82

To social services? Why? A child can fly alone as long as someone is there to meet them etc. YABU
But what if no is there to receive him? Maybe his mother is assuming that someone else will and is too ditsy to understand this?
CrazyCatLazy · 17/10/2021 22:09

This is absolute madness, of course YANBU. You’re also NBU to ignore the CF and not reply. I cannot believe people are berating you!
OP, you’re more than right to cut that parasite right out and enjoy your life 🍷

ftw163532 · 17/10/2021 22:09

@PinkSyCo

grin grin just stop

NO.

See OP, see how easy that was. Smile

Why are you taking it so personally that the op has declined to follow your particular advice?
Fluffymule · 17/10/2021 22:11

I can’t believe some of the responses here, some are insane indeed. I find it incredulous that anybody thinks a mother is actually going to have her child fly unaccompanied to be met by someone she sent a text to who hasn’t responded to said text.

The onus is on the parent to have a conversation with a willing volunteer. It’s the parents responsibility that all parties are totally unambiguous in their understanding of what is being asked and agreed to. Who on earth would assume that a text, left unanswered, is a green light to send a child off alone on any journey, never mind by air?!

The OP is right to ignore a ridiculous text like that. The mother isn’t going to assume the silence is agreement, she’s going to move onto the next person she thinks might be a soft touch.

ftw163532 · 17/10/2021 22:11

But what if no is there to receive him?

I expect the airline will just abandon him to fend for survival in the airport like Tom Hanks in The Terminal.

Lightisnotwhite · 17/10/2021 22:12

@FreshFreesias

Blimey. So many barmy replies. Apparently if op doesn’t reply she will somehow be imbued with psychic powers about plane arrivals etc, lol.
If the Op doesn’t reply to the text it could be; Yes, but I haven’t texted back No but I haven’t texted back Too busy to think about it today I’ve forgotten about it. She hates me She’d do it because she hadn’t said no, but it hasn’t been finalised.

Just text her no.

Again why is no one asking her ex to put the child on a later flight so the Ops friend is home?

Grilledaubergines · 17/10/2021 22:20

I would do it for the child’s sake. Because I would worry myself sick at the thought of him alone at an airport. But it would end the relationship.

LucyGrey · 17/10/2021 22:24

Sounds like my ex SIL. I'd ignore and not engage.

HuhWhatNow · 17/10/2021 22:26

@Pishybreeks

The replies on this thread are proving to me that there are contrary posters that will pile on to the op no matter the circumstances. I see it over and over on here. It just takes one or 2 to be critical of the op then there is a pile on of posters picking apart and arguing at the op. Usually though the aibu isn't as cut and dried as this one. Its a weird Aibu phenomenon, someone should do a study.
Odd isn't it? I've found that more often than not a goady fucker responder will come along with a completely different made up story contradicting what the OP states happened (even though the OP was there, it's their story and the responder has never met any party in the scenario in their life) and the thread will take a huge turn against the OP for doing something that they never did, never said, and never even suggested could have happened.

It's a weird place.

OP, you are not required to respond to any request at all. Every time I walk past a chugger or salesperson harassing people in town, I am not obliged to respond to their request and my ignoring them does not imply my consent due to my lack of acknowledgement or specifically, lack of refusal.

BorderlineHappy · 17/10/2021 22:30

Again why is no one asking her ex to put the child on a later flight so the Ops friend is home?

Maybe this is the later flight @Lightisnotwhite and the cf just cant be arsed.

HouseOfFire · 17/10/2021 22:32

@lonelyapple

Just ignore her, block and delete. You have nothing to feel guilty about in any way. And don't rise to any MNetter who is telling you that you are responsible or have to reply, they are just bored and want some drama to liven up their lives.
All i have read from the op is froth and drama.

If so sure, then no need for a post surely??

HouseOfFire · 17/10/2021 22:34

@YoungGiftedPlump

Just checked. No airlines fly 10 year olds. The youngest unaccompanied age is 12.
Interesting
MaggieFS · 17/10/2021 22:36

I think the reply should be

"Sounds like you need to bring your flight forward 24 hours" and leave it at that.

Lightisnotwhite · 17/10/2021 22:37

HuhWhatNow Very true. Embellished at every turn.

However the critical posters are mostly after the Op posts subsequent replies.
So everyone agrees this friend is a CF.
Then the Op doesn’t listen and criticise’s anyone who doesn’t’t agree with her response to the situation.
People decide the Op is now making a mountain out of a mole hill.
Op slates anyone that disagrees with the choice she had chosen before even posting.

Lightisnotwhite · 17/10/2021 22:38

@MaggieFS

I think the reply should be

"Sounds like you need to bring your flight forward 24 hours" and leave it at that.

Or tell your ex to change flight to next day?