To never speak to her again- CF!

[Peanutbuttermandms]

I have a long term school ‘friend’, let’s call her S. I hear from her very sporadically and most recently, when she wants something: sponsorship money from me for one of her ‘challenges’ to stay in my central city home (!)… but folks, I give you the best one to date today…

Text out of the blue.. not even a ‘how are you’.. can I pick her son up from the airport (!) on Wednesday as he’s flying in alone (he is 10) from his dad’s abroad. You’re thinking wtaf, right?

The text goes on.. she can’t and her new DP are holidaying in the south of France and their flight doesn’t get in to airport until 5pm.. so the wee mite is alone for 4 hours after travelling alone. At 10. Jesus!

It ends ‘would obviously be great to see you too!!’

AIBU to think cheeky fucker and never speak to the self centred cow again?

@Figgit

At the end of the day, there is a child who could potentially be waiting at the airport with nobody to greet them. It’s not the OP’s responsibility, but if her friend is enough of a CF to expect the OP to do the pick up, she’s enough of a CF to read the OP’s silence as acquiescence to the request. Why the OP won’t actually text the CF back to say no goodness only knows. For the kid’s sake, send a message and then block the CF.

Exactly.

@Figgit @Lunificent if there is a child waiting at the airport then the mother can get there between now and then. Problem solved. She’s in France, she has 48 hours. But no, it’s of her making that the child is to be left. Remember that when you’re projecting it only the innocent party (that’s me, by the way).. all because I happened to be asked on text and chose not to reply.

Not RTFT, but the CF's attitude shows in that she texted the OP about her child instead of a phone call. Texted!!!!

I would tell her no, that I had other plans that couldn't be changed. I think that's better than not replying for the sake of the dc. But completely understand you don't owe her a response.

@echt and let’s not forget she’s taken out steps to ensure my safe receipt/ agreement.

She’s probably farmed the text out to half her phone book, with little care for DS’s needs.

You will be the bad guy regardless

@Peanutbuttermandms
You have every right to feel angry. She is massively out of order.
However, I do think we all have a collective duty to not stand by when children or other vulnerable people are not being cared for properly. A child being involved is not a red herring.
There are lots of options, but I think ignore is not really ok.

@ronkey I’m good with that. I know the facts and the situation was one I was pulled into with consent, rather than one I made/ agreed to.

I disagree with ignoring. A no means she has to make alternative arrangements

@Blackberrycream it’s not ok, but it’s not my issue either. I’m limited in options and even if she had called and was genuinely worried/ errors had been made, I’m errrr working and don’t have a car of my own, nor can I do a 10 hour round trip at 4 pm in the afternoon. But hey, it’s not about me…

The red herring comment was intended to suggest it was symptomatic of her - and CF in general- behaviour

@ronkey again, that’s her look out. She put herself into this mess. She can’t reply on others to be at her beck and call and say ‘no’ to help her make other arrangements.

Honestly, is this a joke?!

@HerRoyalWitchyness

making her refusal clear would be better for everyone (including OP) surely?

Shes made her refusal clear by not responding.

She really hasn't. Given OPs lack of response I'd lay money on the CF interpreting that as a yes and sending a message on Wednesday morning with all the details and a 'thanks so much for doing this' as that's how they tend to operate - she'll just rely on the fact that op wouldn't possibly leave a 10 year old stranded in the airport on their own and will feel obliged to do it, after all she didn't say she couldn't.....

And no I don't think OP is obliged to respond as the request is clearly unreasonable, but CFs don't seem to feel that ordinary social norms apply to them.

I'm with you op. Stand strong.
This thread is nutso

@PrincessPaws you’re probably right on that one. Another thing for the CF to worry about then, if it comes to that.

@xksismybestletter I agree. It’s like watching a parallel universe.

Are you always so belligerent OP? Honestly, if you’re not going to do anything, why even post on here at all? Talk about getting on your high horse.

Years ago I once picked up my unaccompanied 11 year old Godson flying in to the UK. It was a big deal. His mum had to fill in a form and confirm who was meeting him and I had to take ID etc to claim him. It took a lot longer than just meeting an adult passenger, because I had to wait until everyone else was let off the plane, and then all the unaccompanied children gathered, and all IDs checked, etc before he was finally handed over to me.

Once he was handed over, I became legally responsible for him until he was delivered to the next legally responsible authority/ adult.

This is quite a lot to ask of you, a big responsibility, and only something most people would ask of a very close friend (like the kid’s Godparent).

Nevertheless, I think you would be seriously unreasonable not to reply, when all you need to say is “No.”. Two letters. Not for your “friend’s” sake, but for the child. If she is a CF enough to ask you to do this, she may be a CF enough to assume no reply means yes.

By all means type the word “No” , send, and then block her. But don’t leave any possibility for misunderstanding. Yes, if you do, she will be punished: the airline will have no one to hand over the child, and once it becomes obvious that the person named on the form isn’t coming, they will call SS - who then will take over legal responsibility. A big mess will follow, with the child likely to spend a night or two in foster care - and the mother, of course, will be wholly responsible for the mess.

But the child will no doubt be really, really distressed by the mess. You might be able to save that distress just by a simple one word, two letter text.

No, you don’t owe it to her, but I’d send the text anyway.

I have read most, but not all, of the thread, so apologies if I have got this wrong. I was under the impression that you were proposing to say nothing - no reply - and letting her assume whatever she wants to assume - including that your silence means it is all sorted.

Also, in case she isn’t totally irresponsible, if you don’t reply, you will probably get a lot more texts in the next couple of days, increasingly urgent, begging, and then nasty, and you might want to avoid that.

TLDR: text “NO” and block.

I think when people on here suggest you text back, they’re not suggesting it’s your responsibility to.
They’re just trying to help you see that a simple text saying ‘no’ will make life easier for you. No one is suggesting you have any responsibility in this situation.

I’d not normally reply to a cf request but……

As it involves a 10 year old innocent party I think you may need to. Then there is a paper trail if anything goes pear shaped and a finger of blame is pointed at you.

A simple ‘sorry I can’t make it, work commitments’ sort of thing. No details so that the child’s times could be changed so that you would be free to collect.

@Figgit ah, and here come the attacks on me.

Belligerent, no. Wrong use of the word, too.

Because I’ve been attacked (see: above), I’ve had to defend myself against the madness, so here we are. Peace out in your belligerent warfare ✌🏻

I'd just say:

Aw sorry no afraid I can't. But hope you had a great time x

And then kind of not really engage any more. Because clearly you don't like or want her.

What do you want everyone to say here OP?

I love the idea that knowing someone's phone number gives you the power to make them responsible for your children.

If she is cavalier enough about her child's safety that she would interpret a lack of response as an agreement to fulfil a onerous and responsible task, then it's better for the child that this is handled by officialdom at the airport and referred to the relevant authorities.

I dont know why you are getting such a hard time @Peanutbuttermandms.
She didnt even have the decency to phone you and ask.
Its the assumption that you will do it.Thats what would really annoy me.

Plus CF would know theres a chance no one can pick the child up,so should be moving heaven and earth to be there.

Oh, I know what it means, OP. I chose the word very carefully. I can only think you are spoiling for a fight as you are so rude to anyone who dares suggest you reply and say ‘no’. Heaven help there’s a poor kid involved in this story. Oh yes there is.
Either you’re loving the drama and spoiling for a fight, or you’d just do the sensible thing for everyone concerned, including yourself, and text and block.