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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

3 year old peeing in a potty in the corner of a museum

361 replies

Griddlesizzle · 16/10/2021 18:41

As it says in the title. Mother just whips the potty out and the child pees away, without the mum even asking anyone if there was a loo nearby. As a side point, the loo was less than 10m away…

Ai by - it’s pretty vile
Aibu - what else are you gonna do?

OP posts:
longwayoff · 16/10/2021 20:39

What did she do with it afterwards? Presumably took it to a loo to empty it rather than leave it as an exhibit. Can't get too fussed over this. At least she didn't put it on a table in the cafeteria.

Rosesareyellow · 16/10/2021 20:41

@longwayoff

I’m not convinced. My SIL uses one with bags that then go in a nearby bin or get carried around for a while until they find one. It is a bit gross…

Bumblebee1223 · 16/10/2021 20:41

What a load of twaddle. If you cared so much you’d get cloth nappies instead of using disposables in the first place and then trying to potty train your child before they’re actually ready.

Im definitely no eco warrior, but yes I’d still think people using potties in emergencies is better than a disposables. Of course it is. No, I probably wouldn’t do this at a museum but I wouldn’t judge a parent who did.

Goldbar · 16/10/2021 20:43

I take my DC to nursery using public transport (can be up to 40 minutes without access to a toilet) and I would never, ever whip out a potty in a crowded commuter bus or train. I cannot imagine the reactions of the other passengers if I did Confused. Nor would I ever have taken DC without a pull-up in a situation when they were likely to urinate on the seats because we couldn't reach a toilet in time. People need to do the sensible thing for their situation and if that means pull-ups, then that's tough. Not all of us can spend all day around the house or stay locally to make sure we're always within a few minutes of a toilet.

Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 16/10/2021 20:43

@DPotter

When a toddler needs to go, they need to go. better a potty than a puddle and an upset child and hassled Mum.

Maybe the mother knew exactly where the toilet was and also knew the kid wouldn't make it

This
DroopyClematis · 16/10/2021 20:44

@DeepaBeesKit

I love how people are horrified as if this is some new fad of entitled parents.

I remember sibling using a potty out & about in the 80s. Everyone trained younger then and it was regarded as completely normal and better than leaving an older toddler wearing nappies.

But not in a public gallery. It wouldn't have been allowed and you'd have been approached, back in the 80s.
Lovealovestory · 16/10/2021 20:44

You don't know their story. Don't be judgemental.

Somethingsnappy · 16/10/2021 20:46

@Bumblebee1223

People saying use pull ups or nappies for longer, you do realise a disposable nappy takes 500 years in landfill? For a child to wait 10 minutes you’re probably looking at training a year later. That’s 1000’s of nappies in landfill! I personally don’t think we should be having 3 year olds in nappies unless it’s necessary.

We trained age 2, I planned visits would usually use toilets or a potty in the car boot. I wouldn’t think anything of this though.

We do a fair amount of park wees (discretely) when there is no other option too.

Very good point re the environmental aspect.
Bimblybomeyelash · 16/10/2021 20:47

Needs must?! I don’t think any of our parents wondered about town with a potty in the pushchair. And to be fair it’s not something I’ve ever witnessed either, other than at playgroup. It’s main character syndrome as far as I’m concerned. Doesn’t matter about anyone else MY darling child is potty training!

LookingGlassMilk · 16/10/2021 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Quotes deleted post

HollaHolla · 16/10/2021 20:49

So I have a spinal injury which has affected my bladder/bowel. Just because I have a disability, I should therefore be allowed to go to the loo wherever? No. So, why is it different for a child? Grim

Summerfun54321 · 16/10/2021 20:50

So it’s ok for people to let their dogs shit in public in front of everyone but a toddler not have a quick wee. Ok then guys 😂

highstreetdiestreet · 16/10/2021 20:50

How many people on this thread screaming 'DISGUSTENG' have dogs and carry bags of shit around with them trying to find a bin

lemmein · 16/10/2021 20:52

@CoastalWave

Grim. They're doing it for attention.

If they actually bothered to potty train PROPERLY (ie take the week off work and nail it at home first, then short trips not a bloody trek round a museum) there would be no need to do this.

🤣 this site is ridiculous sometimes!
Rosesareyellow · 16/10/2021 20:52

When a toddler needs to go, they need to go.

They don’t. Some have just learned to hold it until the very last minute before saying anything because they know you can whip a potty out a seconds notice. If you didn’t do this all the time then they’d very quickly learn to pick up on earlier, less intense signals that they need to go.

Clocktopus · 16/10/2021 20:54

So it’s ok for people to let their dogs shit in public in front of everyone but a toddler not have a quick wee. Ok then guys

A dog isn't a human and it doesn't need to remove its pants to go to the toilet therefore has no need of privacy.

Clocktopus · 16/10/2021 20:56

You also wouldn't let your dog do it's business in the middle of a museum.

hangrylady · 16/10/2021 20:56

I think it's inappropriate and I'm also Confused at those saying some kids can't use public loos because of hand dryers. WTF? My son never liked hand dryers but it was tough tits I'm afraid, they're a fact of life that kids need to get used to surely.

OverTheRubicon · 16/10/2021 20:57

It's a weird and very British thing for parents to carry potties. Just doesn't happen in my home country nor those where my siblings live, and always seems grim to me even outdoors, let alone in a museum. Envy

Goldbar · 16/10/2021 20:58

If they actually bothered to potty train PROPERLY (ie take the week off work and nail it at home first, then short trips not a bloody trek round a museum) there would be no need to do this.

It's funny how people think there's one right way of doing things and it's the way they do it Hmm.

SoftSheen · 16/10/2021 20:59

YANBU. Unhygienic, undignified for the child and unpleasant for anyone else in the area.

If a child isn't able to hold on for the 2 minutes it might take to get to a loo, they aren't ready for toilet training.

highstreetdiestreet · 16/10/2021 21:01

Op hasn't been back.

TreeLawney · 16/10/2021 21:01

Some people go a bit mad over potty training.

Having trained 2 dc, I never once needed to carry a potty around. Just made sure they went before leaving home, when we got to where we were going etc.

Yet I remember friends who thought nothing of getting the potty out in the veg aisle of Sainsbury’s.

I don’t get it, and I don’t think it’s nice but some people do seem to make such a palava of the whole thing.

Rosesareyellow · 16/10/2021 21:02

WTF? My son never liked hand dryers but it was tough tits I'm afraid, they're a fact of life that kids need to get used to surely.

It’s a common thing on MN I’ve found though - a child is scared of a benign and everyday thing, as many children are, and instead of having a rational approach or supporting a child in overcoming that fear, parents exacerbate it by avoiding these things completely.

SoftSheen · 16/10/2021 21:03

This has nothing to do with 'additional needs'. Older children and adults can have additional needs, but it would never be appropriate for them to go to the loo on the floor of a museum.

And I wouldn't be happy with a dog toileting on the floor of a museum, either.