Asked to leave for not wearing a mask

[DuchessOfDisaster]

I've just gone to my book group meeting. I'm mask exempt, and have a cold. Not COVID, we test twice a week at work. I was asked to wear a mask and as I didn't have one offered to leave. The other members said they thought that was best.

It's silly but I feel miffed! Even though I think it's the right thing!

@WorraLiberty

Did you miss the following points by other posters? They weren't just referring to book club.

"You may well have 'just a cold' but now is a time for putting other people's sense of safety first, especially in a book group where you are likely to be sitting together indoors for some time."

"I would always have expected someone with a cold to stay away from an indoor social gathering at close quarters. I have always done so myself. It's just common courtesy and common sense, surely? I've never known any different."

Yes, on MN we're supposed to not be concerned about catching a cold, but colds are often miserable! Symptoms can linger, disturb your ability to sleep, and interfere with other plans.

I know we can't expect people to isolate themselves for every sniffle, but I'd really rather people avoided sharing their germs. For something optional, like a book club, it would be kinder to stay home.

I think we should should move to a agreement that when you have a heavy obvious cold which is highyly infectious, you stay off work.

It would gratly reduce the spread and overall amount of illness.

I feel terrible when I have a cold. It only lasts for a couple of days but it wipes me out.

@ronkey

It doesn't need to be the law. How about not being selfish.

So you are advocating for all children who have cold symptoms should not attend nursery or school? I think that's unrealistic & nothing to do with being selfish. I think it's selfish to deprive children of education.

The reason why schools and nurseries are hotbeds of germs are because of parents sending clearly unwell kids in. If that didn't happen then far fewer kids would get ill in the first place. Same for workplaces, people who "struggle" on when they don't need to should just stay the fuck at home for a couple of days and save infecting the rest of hte office.

But people are far more aware of how infection spreads now. Our perceptions have changed.

I’m sorry but that’s complete drivel - it’s not the 1800s, everyone in living memory knows how disease and infection is spread. Covid can be a serious illness - a cold is not, unless your immune system is extremely compromised. People used to just accept that a cold is something they’d get from time to time, you would keep your distance slightly from someone sniffing and blowing their nose in the corner, you didn’t expect them to hide away at home.

@echt I think you're confused. The posters I were replying to weren't not talking about masks? Plus most retail & transport workers I see have been wearing masks so what's your point?

[quote ronkey]@WorraLiberty

Did you miss the following points by other posters? They weren't just referring to book club.

"You may well have 'just a cold' but now is a time for putting other people's sense of safety first, especially in a book group where you are likely to be sitting together indoors for some time."

"I would always have expected someone with a cold to stay away from an indoor social gathering at close quarters. I have always done so myself. It's just common courtesy and common sense, surely? I've never known any different."
[/quote]
One quote mentions the book club and the other mentions social gatherings.

So as I said, I'm not sure why people are bringing work and school into it?

Book clubs/social gatherings are not a necessity.

No mask with a cold, of course you weren’t doing the right thing. Stay home. If you pass your cold onto a whole group of people you put them through unnecessary worry and the faff of pcr tests.

“ So you are advocating for all children who have cold symptoms should not attend nursery or school?”

I would. I don’t mean the residual cough you can get for weeks afterwards. But if you have a temperature, sore throat, streaming green nose etc then you should not be at nursery or school giving it to everyone else, especially at an age where you can’t use tissues etc properly. Yes yes it’s not possible for a long list of reasons for some parents to stay home to look after them (tho if everyone did it there’d be fewer colds for everyone that necessitated time off) but as a principle I think if you have a cold, flu, d&v, chickenpox etc then you should stay at home. Staying off for a few days a year is not being deprived of education.

I'm usually really anti the whole idea that people stay away from work, social gatherings etc etc just because of a cold. In the normal course of events, one of the ways we keep our immune systems operational is by coming across germs as part of normal everyday life, which our bodies fight off. This is one of the reasons why - after a lot of isolation and distancing - the opening up of social life has meant an explosion in bugs. Just at the moment, within both my social circle and family, there are innumerable viruses doing the rounds - chicken pox, hand, foot and mouth, Gianotti Scrotti (yeah I had never heard of it either!) etc etc.

BUT actually for that very same reason, with some still immune-suppressed, some unable to be vaccinated, the reality is that a nasty cold could leave them even more vulnerable to Covid, or other less serious but still nasty infections. So I think with any symptoms, a mask is a must! At least for a season. Just psychologically, as well, some will struggle with being around others who are sniffling and sneezing after the experience of the last couple of years.

It will take a while before we are back to a more usual level of resistance to the bacteria and viruses that are around us all the time.

@fuckitbucket16

If there’s anything good to come out of this, I hope it’s that people continue to wear masks in public when they’re sick.

Honestly, no one wants your cold either.

Agreed.

I think it should be socially unaccpetable to be around other people when you are running with snot and clearly unwell.

Yes there woould be more absence but illness wuold be reduced so no decrease in producvity.

Ill people in work don't perform well.

Overall there would be less absence at school as infection rates would be lower.

the colds going round are really unpleasant, due to our not having been exposed to them. The last one we had wiped our family out for 3 weeks and, unlike covid, theres no backup payment if you cant work!

@WorraLiberty and? I was just explaining to you why the conversation went further than just a book club.

[quote ronkey]@WorraLiberty

Did you miss the following points by other posters? They weren't just referring to book club.

"You may well have 'just a cold' but now is a time for putting other people's sense of safety first, especially in a book group where you are likely to be sitting together indoors for some time."

"I would always have expected someone with a cold to stay away from an indoor social gathering at close quarters. I have always done so myself. It's just common courtesy and common sense, surely? I've never known any different."
[/quote]
A social event is very different to work . You don't have to go to social events when ill.

@WorraLiberty and here's another one

"I think it should be socially unaccpetable to be around other people when you are running with snot and clearly unwell."

So i think you need to accept the thread has digressed somewhat.

I'm just hanging around here to hear why OP , who is 'mask exempt' , carries a mask.

If, as the OP says, they are mask exempt, then it confers an obligation on them to protect others when unwell.

By staying at home.

@DroopyClematis

I'm just hanging around here to hear why OP , who is 'mask exempt' , carries a mask.

Do they?

There's "cracking on" and there's going to completely optional social events at close quarters indoors to spread your unwanted germs. If I had a cold there would be things I'd still have to do (if I was well enough) like work, school run, supermarket etc. But I absolutely wouldn't be visiting a friend's home or going to a book club when I was full of cold. Nobody in my circle of family or friends would think that was acceptable, pre- or post-Covid.

The only exception would probably be a very few extremely close family members who we spend so much time with for childcare and doing errands for each other etc that catching it would seem almost inevitable. In that case, whoever had the cold would call ahead and say "FYI I've got a bad cold so if you'd rather I didn't come over tonight then I'll understand". And the family member would either say “don’t worry, you’ve probably already given it to me when we saw each other yesterday” or they’d say “actually I’ve got plans I don’t want to cancel later in the week so could really do with not having a cold. Can we call tonight off?”. Simple. Just really common courtesy. Would only do that with very close family though who I knew would be totally honest and not feel obligated to have me anyway.

the colds going round are really unpleasant, due to our not having been exposed to them. The last one we had wiped our family out for 3 weeks and, unlike covid, theres no backup payment if you cant work!

Then surely you can see that if we continue to actively avoid colds at all cost from here on this will continue to be the case. There is no cold vaccine coming… if you want to keep your immune system on track with it you have to catch one from time to time, especially very young kids.

Work and school are somewhat different.

But I would be flippin’ furious if someone turned up at a social event with an obvious cold even in non-covid times . It is utterly selfish. I simply can’t understand the mentality of turning up to a book group - with talking in an enclosed space - snorting and puffing and blowing (it must have been obvious if the OP was asked to wear a mask) and not expect to be given an extremely cold shoulder.

I would. I don’t mean the residual cough you can get for weeks afterwards. But if you have a temperature, sore throat, streaming green nose etc then you should not be at nursery or school giving it to everyone else, especially at an age where you can’t use tissues etc properly. Yes yes it’s not possible for a long list of reasons for some parents to stay home to look after them (tho if everyone did it there’d be fewer colds for everyone that necessitated time off) but as a principle I think if you have a cold, flu, d&v, chickenpox etc then you should stay at home. Staying off for a few days a year is not being deprived of education.

Ime most schools/parents would not ignore a temperature although many will ignore a runny nose.

I'm not sure we can eliminate colds though & if that's a good thing? I don't genuinely know?

Yes YABU, keep your cold to yourself.

Two people in my office were in with colds last week, revelling in sharing throat sweets etc - and now another colleague’s off, gasping for breath because asthma means colds knock her out. We’re mostly work from home these days/ being in the office completely optional, so no idea why people would go in (to work or book clubs!) brazenly chuckling about germy colds. Likewise not impressed with the ‘it’s not Covid’ chat without having done a PCR. Just selfish really