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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to leave for not wearing a mask

502 replies

DuchessOfDisaster · 16/10/2021 11:11

I've just gone to my book group meeting. I'm mask exempt, and have a cold. Not COVID, we test twice a week at work. I was asked to wear a mask and as I didn't have one offered to leave. The other members said they thought that was best.

It's silly but I feel miffed! Even though I think it's the right thing!

OP posts:
HandlebarLadyTash · 16/10/2021 11:40

Most masks are filthy & disgusting
That said I have always worn them & still wear them in enclosed spaces.
I am happy to go with the flow & do not want to cause upset to anyone.

Rosesareyellow · 16/10/2021 11:40

I work in a school, if children were absent every time they had a runny nose no one would be in class!

Same with staff - there would be next to no staff left at some point. Obviously if you feel genuinely unwell you should stay off for your own well being, but I don’t think many work places would appreciate you staying off with just a sniffly nose because you want to save others from catching a cold.

Fizbosshoes · 16/10/2021 11:41

It seems almost everyone on the trains at the moment has colds (or covid) from the amount of coughing/sneezing/throat clearing/snuffling/ nose blowing etc
Same as every winter. (Except maybe last winter when fewer people were using the train)

While it is of course advisable to stay at home if its a bad cold, or feeling very unwell (and not visit those in vulnerable groups) not everyone has a job they can wfh, or would be penalised for having several days off. (I'm sure MN has a higher than average proportion of people that either wfh or are not adversely affected by losing a weeks pay)

WorraLiberty · 16/10/2021 11:41

I don't know why people are bringing work and school into this.

It was a book club - a social gathering and therefore totally missable.

viques · 16/10/2021 11:42

@Rosesareyellow

I’m surprised by the responses on here. I’m sure pre-Covid no one would have thought it reasonable to tell someone to stay away from everyone because of a cold, except if you were visiting a new born maybe. Times have changed.
But people are far more aware of how infection spreads now. Our perceptions have changed.

I remember a few years ago seeing a group of Japanese students in the British Museum all wearing masks and thinking how ridiculous they looked, did they think the UK was a hotbed of germs etc etc, now I think how sensible to wear a mask to keep yourself and others safe from unknown bugs.

So well done to the OPs book group, the other members have probably really missed being able to meet up in person , and were rightly miffed at one selfish persons refusal to stick to the agreement they had made about masks.

ronkey · 16/10/2021 11:42

After all, BJ told us to take all the measures we thought necessary to protect ourselves.
It was a book club. People are protecting themselves, like other professions do. It’s ok.

I never made a judgement on the book club. I simply questioned whether it was normal to stay off work/school etc with a runny nose even in pre covid times.

Merryoldgoat · 16/10/2021 11:43

What is so hard to understand about an illness affecting people differently?

When my son gets ‘just a cold’ we pack a ‘go bag’ as we’ve ended up being sent to hospital so many times as his breathing becomes problematic.

When I get a cold I usually end up wheezing with a very bad cough.

My other son and DH have a mild sniffle and not much else.

I’m really sick of the attitude that treats being unwell as a moral failing.

I’m a bit tetchy after the second night of zero sleep nursing a feverish and distressed toddler with ‘just a cold’ 🙄

LaBellina · 16/10/2021 11:43

One thing that I hope Covid permanently will change is that many people think it’s okay to show up at work or social events when they have the flu or a cold and thus exposing others to this as well. In several Asian countries it has been a good practice for years, long before this pandemic, to wear a mask to protect others whenever you have a cold and you have to go to work or travel by public transport. If you can’t wear a mask, like the OP, you stay home until you’re no longer contagious to others. So I think YABU, OP.

vodkaredbullgirl · 16/10/2021 11:43

Wonder if op will be back?

MargaretThursday · 16/10/2021 11:43

@HoldingTheDoor

I've never known anyone take sick leave due to a cold?

I do. They absolutely floor me, worse than Covid did.

Dh has taken 3 days of sick leave in the last 25 years. Two of them were "just a cold". He doesn't get many colds, but when he does he can have 1-2 days where he is really bad.
ronkey · 16/10/2021 11:43

@Milkbottlelegs my point was not about the book club but the poster who never went out with a cold post covid.

ronkey · 16/10/2021 11:44

sorry pre

EarringsandLipstick · 16/10/2021 11:44

@DappledThings

Do people really not get on with normal things when they have a cold? Alright maybe different in the current times but pre-covid I never knew of anyone thinking of colds as anything other than a fact of life. I've never thought anything of anyone turning up somewhere with a cold.
The clue here is: alright maybe different in current times

That's the point.

Pre-Covid it was fine to go out & about & work with a cold. Currently it's not ok as it could be Covid.

I really hope we are much more careful - mask wearing, wfh when we can, in future when we do have colds. I work with 3rd level students. Pre-Covid in my team we were nearly always sick with some virus. I didn't get too sick but others on my team often did.

Now I would be much more conscious of measures to limit the spread of viruses where I can.

MiddlesexGirl · 16/10/2021 11:45

@DappledThings

Do people really not get on with normal things when they have a cold? Alright maybe different in the current times but pre-covid I never knew of anyone thinking of colds as anything other than a fact of life. I've never thought anything of anyone turning up somewhere with a cold.
I get on with work or would with school/education. Anything that is optional I now stay at home.
Geamhradh · 16/10/2021 11:45

I'm confused at an exempt OP having forgotten a mask and so offering to leave.

The cold thing is irrelevant really. It would, as others have said, be lovely if we could all take time off work with a cold. Real life jobs aren't like that sadly.

honeylulu · 16/10/2021 11:45

There is a balance to consider regarding what is fair to everyone. If you are mask exempt people have to accept that you can't help that. But you need to
accept that being mask exempt doesn't make you "covid exempt" - you are just as likely to catch it or pass it on as any other maskless person, and if others in the vicinity are unhappy about you posing that additional risk to them, then you should consider "is it really essential that I am here?"

I am not mask exempt but if I had a cold I would try and avoid coming into contact with others unless it was unavoidable.

I am wary that what I have said might seem discriminatory against people who are mask exempt not by any choice of their own but a balance of rights and fairness does seem to me the right way of approaching it.

ronkey · 16/10/2021 11:45

It doesn't need to be the law. How about not being selfish.

So you are advocating for all children who have cold symptoms should not attend nursery or school? I think that's unrealistic & nothing to do with being selfish. I think it's selfish to deprive children of education.

GoldChick · 16/10/2021 11:46

They didn’t ask you to leave you offered to leave and they said ok then.

QueenofKattegat · 16/10/2021 11:46

@DappledThings

Do people really not get on with normal things when they have a cold? Alright maybe different in the current times but pre-covid I never knew of anyone thinking of colds as anything other than a fact of life. I've never thought anything of anyone turning up somewhere with a cold.
I'm with you. I think it's just the usual MN hysteria. I don't know anybody who wouldn't just crack on with a cold.
ronkey · 16/10/2021 11:46

@Rosesareyellow yep every autumn term we all get some bug or another.

DailyFailstinks · 16/10/2021 11:47

I don’t understand how people can wear masks when they have a cold - It’s hard enough to breathe anyway without a bloody mask over your nose and mouth! YANBU - nobody has a right to be protected from every minor cough and cold doing the rounds and the sooner they realise this the better.

TheCheeseBadge · 16/10/2021 11:47

I have covid at the moment. Confirmed by PCR test 3 days ago. Purely out of interest, I have continued testing daily with LFT, haven't had a positive one yet.

I'm also far less ill with Covid than I was two weeks ago with the stinking cold I had, same one everyone is complaining about on here I think. I was in bed for days with that one!

YABU

Lweji · 16/10/2021 11:47

It's all about trust.
You may be convinced you don't have covid because you test. But when did you last test before the group? It could easily have been positive if you tested at the time.
In any case, all the others know is that you have symptoms of a respiratory illness, so, wearing a mask was the least they could ask.
In your position, I'd probably have stayed away to start with, anyway.

ronkey · 16/10/2021 11:48

@Fizbosshoes exactly, are we really asking for transport workers, factory workers, retail workers to stay off work if they have cold symptoms? and that won't have any impact?

echt · 16/10/2021 11:49

[quote ronkey]@Fizbosshoes exactly, are we really asking for transport workers, factory workers, retail workers to stay off work if they have cold symptoms? and that won't have any impact? [/quote]
No, we're asking them to wear a mask.