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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not sure whether portrait is a joke or not

177 replies

CallMeAChopper · 16/10/2021 08:13

My friend is a hobby artist and does portraits for £30 each. She’s good at what she does but a) admits that there are some people sfe just can’t draw and b) has a dark sense of humour and messes around sometimes

My daughter is 2 years old and when you ask her to smile she bares all teeth and looks angry, it’s very funny but as a result all of her photos look like she’s growling at the camera. I asked my friend if she would do a portrait of me and DD as a Christmas present to my mum. Obviously I’m paying her.

She kept sending me updates but only of “my” part, all the photos had DD either covered up or cut off the photo. Anyway she’s now sent me the finished full version and asked whether I’m happy with it. It’s bloody hideous! She’s done a spot on version of me but DD looks like the girl from the exorcist! I know she was doing her growl face on the photo but the drawing seems to have exaggerated it and made her look really grotesque - I mean it literally looks like the cover of a horror movie.

Problem is I don’t know whether she’s joking or not!! If I laugh and tell her “good joke” and she didn’t do it on purpose it’s going to really upset her! But I can’t accept it like it is. I literally gasped when I saw it and then burst out laughing.

How on earth do I find out whether she’s joking or not without upsetting her if she isn’t?

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 16/10/2021 08:14

I need to see the bit with your daughter on. I really NEED to.

Yogawankonobi · 16/10/2021 08:15

Maybe just say thank you and see what she says.
As an artist I would correct any work that the person that I’m commissioned by asks for.

FrankGrillosFloof · 16/10/2021 08:17

You can’t post this without letting us see the pic…

Arabelladrinkstea · 16/10/2021 08:17

Ask her?

However we have to see it to give honest feedback!

Pedalpushers · 16/10/2021 08:17

I doubt she's done a portrait as a joke intending to redo it, so you'll just have to say the daughter growling wasn't what you were after and does she mind doing a more smiley one.

milian · 16/10/2021 08:22

It’s not like you’re paying her enough to actually cover time and materials so I think it would be pretty ungrateful to comment tbh.

Kittykat93 · 16/10/2021 08:22

Please let us see 😁

Confrontayshunme · 16/10/2021 08:23

My SIL has a portrait a friend drew of her. It is terrible, but if your BF does it, you have to keep it up till they die so you don't fall out apparently.Confused

benelephant · 16/10/2021 08:24

We NEED to see it.

Clandestin · 16/10/2021 08:24

Surely there must be a photo somewhere of your daughter NOT growling? Did the photo you supplied for your friend to work from have the growl in it? If so, presumably she thought you wanted the growl in the portrait — tell her you don’t.

StrongSunglasses · 16/10/2021 08:25

Yes I agree - for helpful and informed replies I’m afraid we’ll need to see exactly what you’re referring to…

Original poster
CallMeAChopper · 16/10/2021 08:27

I’m not going to post the picture as it would probably end up in the daily fail, imagine if she saw it!

I’ve always told her she should charge more but she refuses to take anymore than £30.

She has done something similar before, someone asked for a portrait of their baby with their Rottweiler and she drew the Rottweiler teeth bared and snarling like Cujo. She presented the picture to the buyer, the buyer gasped and asked why the dog looked like that she she admitted she’d done it whilst drunk for a laugh and then presented her with the real one so she had actually done two portraits (she used the joke one on her website!) so I don’t know if this is the scenario here or what

OP posts:
Clawdy · 16/10/2021 08:27

Let's see it!

DontSettleForMe · 16/10/2021 08:28

Maybe you could say something like “While that is an uncanny drawing of DD (acknowledging her artistic skills!) I was rather hoping to have her smiling!”.

MIL fancies herself as an artist. She did a “drawing” of DD from a photo (a school photo which was not the best to start with). She was most offended when we refused permission to share it on social media. It was hideous!

Whinge · 16/10/2021 08:28

@milian

It’s not like you’re paying her enough to actually cover time and materials so I think it would be pretty ungrateful to comment tbh.
I agree. £30 for a portrait is cheap. It's hard to comment on the image without seeing it. But as for whether it's real or not, I would assume the image she sent you is the final completed piece. I can't see why she would take the time to send you an image of a fake portrait.
ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff · 16/10/2021 08:31

@milian

It’s not like you’re paying her enough to actually cover time and materials so I think it would be pretty ungrateful to comment tbh.

She paid what the friend charges. The friend has decided that £30 covers her time and materials, not the OP. Not ungrateful at all to say she doesn't like it.

dottiedodah · 16/10/2021 08:32

Surely the point is if you are not happy with it ,then its not acceptable! There is a thin line between humour and absolutely taking the piss.I would say that you are not happy and not pay for it .And yes ,do not send any pics or they will end up in the Mail or somewhere!

Looubylou · 16/10/2021 08:33

Yes, she is joking. Given the history with the dog portrait joke, she didn't uncover your daughter until the end. Your friend is a hoot, and knows fine well you are struggling with what to say. I'd ring up laughing, and say please get rid of the growling demon.

LubaLuca · 16/10/2021 08:34

I’m not going to post the picture as it would probably end up in the daily fail, imagine if she saw it!

Oh, now come on! You know the rules - you describe the terrible thing to us, we imagine it to be hilarious, we beg you to show us, and when the thread has got to about 500 posts you give in and post it, and then we agree it's terrible and laugh heartily.

GoldChick · 16/10/2021 08:35

If you sent her a picture of your daughter growling then that's what she will draw

SoupDragon · 16/10/2021 08:38

You could reply "now I see why you covered DD up on all the progress pictures you sent me"

Smileforthebirdie · 16/10/2021 08:41

We had a similar situation except I paid £350 to my portrait artist friend. One of the people in the painting looked nothing like real life, they were out of proportion as well. It was awful but not a joke. We had to hang it up because she was always at my house but as soon as we moved, we took it to the dump. I feel for you.

diddl · 16/10/2021 08:59

She's asked if you are happy & you're not so tell her that!

Although she has essentially drawn what you have sent, it perhaps feels as if she is making fun of/being unkind about your daughter?

Is she really a friend?

flyingant · 16/10/2021 09:01

I'd say thanks, pay up then put it in the bin and put it down to experience.

MoiraNotRuby · 16/10/2021 09:04

The only way to see if it is a joke, but not offend your friend if it isn't, has to be by criticising your DD, and not your friend. 'OMG you have captured DD perfectly but how have I never noticed how angry she looks, I'm going to have to teach her how to smile properly '