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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not sure whether portrait is a joke or not

177 replies

CallMeAChopper · 16/10/2021 08:13

My friend is a hobby artist and does portraits for £30 each. She’s good at what she does but a) admits that there are some people sfe just can’t draw and b) has a dark sense of humour and messes around sometimes

My daughter is 2 years old and when you ask her to smile she bares all teeth and looks angry, it’s very funny but as a result all of her photos look like she’s growling at the camera. I asked my friend if she would do a portrait of me and DD as a Christmas present to my mum. Obviously I’m paying her.

She kept sending me updates but only of “my” part, all the photos had DD either covered up or cut off the photo. Anyway she’s now sent me the finished full version and asked whether I’m happy with it. It’s bloody hideous! She’s done a spot on version of me but DD looks like the girl from the exorcist! I know she was doing her growl face on the photo but the drawing seems to have exaggerated it and made her look really grotesque - I mean it literally looks like the cover of a horror movie.

Problem is I don’t know whether she’s joking or not!! If I laugh and tell her “good joke” and she didn’t do it on purpose it’s going to really upset her! But I can’t accept it like it is. I literally gasped when I saw it and then burst out laughing.

How on earth do I find out whether she’s joking or not without upsetting her if she isn’t?

OP posts:
Overtired201984 · 17/10/2021 18:44

@ArabellaScott

This has had me in stitches , also gonna have nightmares now - nice one (joke) . I hope op’s picture isn’t that bad 🥴

TRex57128 · 17/10/2021 18:48

I'd approach it as if she's not joking and ask is it possible to redo your daughter with a different facial expression, as you that's not her cutest look.
That way you spare her feelings and your friendship I'd she's serious. And you can breath a sigh of relief if she's done it for a joke. x

TRex57128 · 17/10/2021 18:50

... annoyingly can't seem to edit the typos in my message. Hopefully makes sense, here some attempt at correction...

I'd= if
As you 'think' that's not her cutest look.

cantthinkofanything1 · 17/10/2021 18:59

Definitely need to see it!

Jewel52 · 17/10/2021 19:15

Please don’t post the portrait of your dd on here, can’t believe so many people are urging you to. It would be a betrayal, turning them into an object of ridicule. To anyone asking you to, they show you theirs first.

Pogue4Life · 17/10/2021 19:58

Has she replied OP?

Estheryan07 · 17/10/2021 20:08

I have to see this pic

Sillyname63 · 17/10/2021 20:22

It's immaterial on how much she charges she has given you the price you accepted that doesn't mean you should get something you don't like , just say "sorry , I know DD normally looks like a little devil but are you able to make her look more like my mum would like to see her" it's is probably one of her jokes anyway.

CrankyFrankie · 17/10/2021 20:44

So what did your friend respond with?! And if she was winding you up, please 1) post the portrait, and 2) invite her to this thread, where we can thank her for giving us all a laugh!

Bleachmycloths · 17/10/2021 21:23

Pay her and dump the portrait.

DreamTheMoors · 17/10/2021 21:50

When I was 4 or 5, I drew a picture of my mum with markers. It was very crude, but done with love.
When she died, I found it amongst her keepsakes.

You’re paying your friend. You need to ask her about your daughter’s likeness — is she serious or is she not serious, because that doesn’t resemble your daughter in your eyes. It doesn’t have to be insulting to the artist if you’re diplomatic.

OverweightPidgeon · 17/10/2021 23:05

I reckon she’s having you on .

QueenBee52 · 17/10/2021 23:29

I would say something... your daughter will perhaps want to see this and it'll will maybe upset her.. so you need to say to your friend, at the very least, you're not happy with her interpretation of your child. Flowers

but that's just me...

Feeasco · 18/10/2021 06:32

I think if you're paying you have the right to decline. She should have bounced it off you. Perhaps you would have liked it as it reflects your daughter's cheeky side, but this is for your mum. Either way she should have checked with her "client". However, I don't think £30 is worth losing a friend over. If you had paid more it would bd more complicated. Perhaps keep it in a bottom drawer but be honest that you won't pass it on to your mum. Hopefully she will accept her style is not for everyone and ask before she adds a twist in the future.

Poppyhopscotch · 18/10/2021 06:38

What did she say??

TheQueef · 18/10/2021 06:45

See I hate these threads.
It's been a pretty dark weekend but every so often I've thought about this thread and smiled.
Now I WANT to see the gurning bairn in all her glory and the OP has bobbied off with the evidence and not shared it with us!
The audacity.
Down with this sort of thread.

category12 · 18/10/2021 06:49

@TheQueef

See I hate these threads. It's been a pretty dark weekend but every so often I've thought about this thread and smiled. Now I WANT to see the gurning bairn in all her glory and the OP has bobbied off with the evidence and not shared it with us! The audacity. Down with this sort of thread.
Grin

Well I wouldn't expect the picture, cos that'd be all over the daily m@!l in four seconds flat, but it's a shame op hasn't come back to say how her text was received.

Stirling2701 · 18/10/2021 07:54

Please send us a picture of the portrait!

DeadGood · 18/10/2021 08:04

“ My daughter is 2 years old and when you ask her to smile she bares all teeth and looks angry, it’s very funny but as a result all of her photos look like she’s growling at the camera.”

You know that there’s a really simple solution to this, right? It’s not the law that you have to tell your kid to smile for every photograph.

IndieR22 · 18/10/2021 08:08

Is OP not back yet? Interested to see how friend replied!

StoppinBy · 18/10/2021 08:09

I also think we need to see the portrait of your daughter to judge lol.

NCkitchen · 18/10/2021 08:14

Does she know that you think your child looks weird when she smiles on photos? If not, maybe she's trying not to offend you by drawing a normal looking smile

Roxy69 · 18/10/2021 09:33

Seems an odd sort of joke. The trouble with 'art' done by friends is that it's very hard to tell them the truth. The times I've lied my head off so as not to upset them.....

anon666 · 18/10/2021 12:46

I'd assume it's a humorous take on the picture, and in that light, decide if you could possibly warm to it.

If it's a definite no, then I would probably say something like "I appreciate the sentiment but your stuff is so good, I feel its a shame dd looks so terrible on it".

winnieanddaisy · 18/10/2021 15:16

In the 80s my SisIL had a painting of her two children done from a school photo . It was quite cute at the time but she still has it up on the fireplace wall . It looks awful now . Very dated and very dark . There is no way that my children would allow such a monstrosity on my wall in full view of visitors.Grin. It would have gone to the skip years ago !