Not sure whether portrait is a joke or not

[CallMeAChopper]

My friend is a hobby artist and does portraits for £30 each. She’s good at what she does but a) admits that there are some people sfe just can’t draw and b) has a dark sense of humour and messes around sometimes

My daughter is 2 years old and when you ask her to smile she bares all teeth and looks angry, it’s very funny but as a result all of her photos look like she’s growling at the camera. I asked my friend if she would do a portrait of me and DD as a Christmas present to my mum. Obviously I’m paying her.

She kept sending me updates but only of “my” part, all the photos had DD either covered up or cut off the photo. Anyway she’s now sent me the finished full version and asked whether I’m happy with it. It’s bloody hideous! She’s done a spot on version of me but DD looks like the girl from the exorcist! I know she was doing her growl face on the photo but the drawing seems to have exaggerated it and made her look really grotesque - I mean it literally looks like the cover of a horror movie.

Problem is I don’t know whether she’s joking or not!! If I laugh and tell her “good joke” and she didn’t do it on purpose it’s going to really upset her! But I can’t accept it like it is. I literally gasped when I saw it and then burst out laughing.

How on earth do I find out whether she’s joking or not without upsetting her if she isn’t?

[knittingaddict]

@GoldChick

If you sent her a picture of your daughter growling then that's what she will draw

This is probably true.

My husband paints and he is very good at portraits. He uses photos because no one would sit for the number of hours it takes to draw from life. He couldn't just substitute a growl for a nice smile because he couldn't know what the normal non growling smile looked like. He can only draw what is in front of him. He wouldn't exaggerate it though.

[Chamomileteaplease]

But this woman is a friend - surely she knows what the child usually looks like?

And if not, the she can ask for a photo to copy which shows the child smiling. Not rocket science.

[knittingaddict]

For £30 I would accept it, hang it in downstairs loo and have a good laugh about it. £30 is peanuts for a portrait. What medium did she use?

[VladmirsPoutine]

@SoupDragon

You could reply "now I see why you covered DD up on all the progress pictures you sent me"

Do this and then don't make an issue out of it. Someone else in your position might have found it brilliant, you clearly don't (and neither would I FWIW). Just don't ask her for more portraits again. Who knows maybe when she's older your DD will find it hilarious.

[knittingaddict]

@Chamomileteaplease

But this woman is a friend - surely she knows what the child usually looks like?

And if not, the she can ask for a photo to copy which shows the child smiling. Not rocket science.

It's almost impossible to do a portrait from memory even if you know the person intimately. Most people don't have a photographic memory. Even just changing the expression or shape of the mouth would be an inaccurate representation.

[mistermagpie]

I would do what a PP suggested - say thanks, pay her and stick it in the bin. It's not a huge amount of money so you can cut your losses with this I hope.

It's kind of weird if she actually has drawn her as 'demonically' as you say, but we can't judge without seeing the picture, so I'll take your word for it. Maybe she just has a strange sense of humour or thought you would get a kick out of the picture? It's all a bit odd but I'd leave it and move on, it's not worth worrying about.

[RosiePosieDozy]

Oh no definitely don't pay for it. You're not happy with it and her exaggerating your DD's smile means she hasn't done the painting realistically. If she doesn't say that it's a joke, tell her you're not happy with the way she's exaggerated DD's smile. She'll obviously know what she's done.

[hotmeatymilk]

I voted YABU because you won’t share the demonic painting.

Your friend has done as asked: a painting from a photo that accurately represents the photo. Pay up and hang the painting above the fireplace. The true blame here lies with the demon.

I think I’d prefer the demonic painting to a fake smile, pretend-version-of-DD painting: isn’t the point to capture reality? And have a lovely memory? This memory will be hilarious. And you’ll always have a painting to remember the demonic era. It’s far more individual and personal than a bland “painted an imagined smile onto her face” version would be.

[HonorHiding]

I would laugh, keep the friendship, and find something else to give your mum. Maybe put a “growling toddler” photo into an app like Prisma, which can turn it into an oil painting of a smiling cherub!

[flowersmakeitbetter]

Ask her if she painted when she was pissed.

[Fallagain]

£30 is nothing. How long does it take her?

[GatoradeMeBitch]

Does she lean towards the caricature side of portrait painting?

If she has gone out of her way to emphasize your DD's unflattering expression I'd wonder if she was being a bit passive-aggressive, like "Here. this is what your kid looks like."

It might have been an idea to sneak some photos of her with her face in repose, or catching her in the middle of a genuine laugh. She can't be growling in literally all of them!

[lottiegarbanzo]

Worry less about how she feels and more about what you feel. You're the customer. You're paying her for this thing. If it doesn't meet the brief, you don't pay.

You're not making a charitable donation to support this person's chosen lifestyle.

[lottiegarbanzo]

Btw, does the artist know your mum and do they share a dark sense of humour - regarding your dd?

If not, or not, then drawing an exaggeratedly demonic child as a gift for the child's grandmother, is wildly inappropriate and not something anyone would pay for.

[MamsellMarie]

tha'ts the thing about paintings - you can cover up your mistakes and do it again.
I would send a pic without DD grinning, she could be doing anything, looking down at a toy, looking off to the side whatever and get her to redo it.

[Walkingalot]

I think your friend is a bit warped/cruel. It's one thing for a parent to laugh at the faces your own child pulls but another for someone else to take it further and exaggerate it. If it is a joke, why has she kept you waiting for the 'surprise' real picture?

[jobsagudden]

OP I'm a portrait artist, did you send photos of your little girl where she wasn't pulling the face and did you specify that you would not like her to be pulling that face when she drew the picture?

I often get photos sent by people and they then say, it looks like the photo but she doesn't look like that in real life, it's really hard to capture someone without seeing a photo that represents what you would like them to draw.

I would maybe send some more photos of what you would like, if she has done this as a joke, what a bugger 😂

[Eyesofdisarray]

Can you ask her where the real one is now shes had her little joke??
😬

[Mummyoflittledragon]

It may be a joke. But she’s way off, isn’t she?

[StaplesCorner]

It sounds like a mean thing to do. Why accept work for £30 if its not a decent amount to cover your time and then do something nasty? Lets hope its a "joke" OP but I don't think she's your friend.

[whynotwhatknot]

if it is for real and she asks why its not up in your house just say it scared dd

[whynotwhatknot]

sorry just seen its for your mum just say your mum doesnt like the way dd looks in it

[puddlebubble]

30 quid is going to get you a photoshopped image, filtered and then canvas printed with a small profit for the 'artist'. On that basis I would say to her, get real.

[DeeCeeCherry]

It's a portrait of a child, and the child will see it up on your wall, won't she? As will visitors. What's so funny or hilarious about this 'joke', taking the piss out of a little girl? Sounds like she's drawn a caricature.

Is your friend one of those characters everyone makes allowances for even tho they know she goes too far at times but 'ha ha ha oh she's hilarious, such a hoot isn't she? ie we're all scared to call her out on her shit so we just grin along with everything.

Just ask her to re-do photo. Your DD obviously doesn't have just 1 facial expression does she so that shouldn't be a problem. Unless you're panicked it'll mean you're not friends anymore..

[HouseOfFire]

still need to see it