What’s going on in your local FB group?

[Glassofshloer]

Shamelessly inspired by another thread of a similar nature some time ago, what is going on in your local FB group this week?

Mine is:
Drone photos of the local area
A complaint about the quality of social housing with accompanying ‘mould’ photos. Responses urging the poster to contact BBC news
A post urging us to feed up the local hedgehogs so they survive the winter

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

Asking what the old cafe is going to be turned into (a new cafe that's been open for three months already).

Asking what the food is like in the new cafe (cafe like).

Complaining that the new cafe doesn't do a Sunday roast on Tuesdays (because its a cafe, not the pub next door to the cafe).

Complaining that the new cafe doesn't do delivery.

Somebody pointing out that there are six takeaway/delivery places in 250 yards, so what the area didn't need was another takeaway, it needed a new cafe.

Somebody complaining that the 3rd takeaway/delivery place on the left doesn't offer an area to sit down like a cafe.

Somebody had their van broken into whilst they were in the new cafe.

Somebody saw a swarthy looking type round the back of the new cafe.

Swarthy looking type turns out to be a bloke called Dave from Neath who opened the new cafe after being on holiday for a fortnight, so has a bit of a tan. Dave says he'd love to see more new faces at his new cafe.

Somebody asks what happened to the previous owners of the new cafe.

The swarthy type/actually Dave is then apparently seen on somebody's bargain basement CCTV 'casing the joint' and everybody needs to keep an eye on their vehicles/dogs/houses and report any caravans and motor homes seen in the area.

Dave replies that he moved in two doors down five months ago and the casing the joint is him taking the dog for a walk and picking up a fox turd off his front driveway before the dog rolls in it.

Somebody asks what the food is like at the new cafe.

The answer is 'don't know, but there's going to be problems if the council doesn't sort out the bins this week', especially if there are caravan owners lurking in the area.

Somebody posts 'racist, much?'.

Anarchy ensues, the guy who owns the new cafe is quoted as saying he's had loads of trouble with people who own caravans hanging around his back door, Dave says 'You certainly weren't talking to me', the local Councillor is tagged ten times about bins and three times about caravans, somebody suggests holding a meeting about 'It' and they decide it would be a good idea to hold the meeting at the new cafe when it opens next month, as they've been chatting to the new owner who is called Geoff and comes from Portsmouth...

I haven't laughed so much in aaages - I have tears in my eyes and can't stop laughing. Thank you for sharing this

@MintyGreenDream

A man died of natural causes in the street and someone has taken a picture of his body and put it on Snapchat

Ffs what is wrong with some people eh!

Today's news on ours is missing girl Thamara Ahmad, she was last seen at school at 2.30 pm on Wednesday

Not FB but the next door app. A man has been caught on several Ring doorbells pooing through letter boxes 💩 😬 I’m not sure how he’s managed that tbh but there was much outrage about the pooer although it seems to have stopped now.

Lost/found/dead cats
Traffic at a stand still as multiple roadworks
Bad parking, can't fit a pram through

Why is the helicopter out
Any jobs going?
Best place for a carvery?
Same everyday really

Any jobs going?

Always following numerous posts advertising jobs in our group!

Someone held the bin men hostage

We also have a lot of dog poo rants.
Also one of the admins is v anti vaccine so a lot of controversy around that. Not always helpful. Said person likes to provoke people.

@JoeMaplin I haven't seen any green bin drama, I'm in the most boring borough of South East London, if that sound familiar you might be a neighbour (it's the home of a newly very successful tennis player)

Actually the newly successful tennis player has been the subject of lots of facebook fun over the last few weeks, mainly tennis coaches in the area trying to claim some of the glory.

One coach/club in particular (the one that was on the telly with a video of them watching her match)
This club/Coach have claimed her as their own, despite the fact she only had lessons there when she was 7, they wouldn't let her use their practice courts recently and she left them because the coach who has been pushing himself in front of every TV camera available was so horrible to her

NeverDropYourMoonCup hilarious
. Ours is full of regular photos of the small park in the centre of the town. Somedays there are about 40 photos. I think it's more photographed than the Taj Mahal.

I'm not sure we even have a local Facebook group, if we have I'm not in it

Lost cat they moved house and it legged it

Man fleecing people for cleaning moss off roofs

Not much else!

I love the cafe story.... very 😆

We have 2 FB groups.
If you say anything negative about local businesses on one group they ban you. Most people get band from the first group and join the second.

@blissfulllife I know.Its an ex mining village as apposed to a city so its a rare occurrence but Jesus as if you would

Depends on the group….

Local ‘Moaners’ group…..
admin have posted that asking if the local pharmacy is opening today (will become apparent in a minute why this is asked) or trying to sell if the contents of your barn will no longer be allowed; nor will posts moaning about other people’s posts moaning about something!! There are posts moaning about the smell from the local chicken farm, about the lack of youth facilities in town and the usual posts about rubbish, dos shit on the pavements and vandalism of flower boxes along the high street.

On local general community page…..
Lots of posts asking whether the pharmacy is open today/what hours it’s opening if at all - this is because they keep having to close when the pharmacist is sent to cover pharmacies in another town, sometimes miles away over the county border; there is only 1 pharmacy in town and nearly everyone gets they prescriptions sent there so, if you’re expecting to collect regular meds you may end up waiting days for it to be open!!
Complaints about the lack of youth facilities in town meaning the kids sit in the park or the churchyard and leave mess, throw things at the church/town hall/community centre windows when they’re being used.
Posts about the spiralling number of cases of Covid and the resultant lack of staff in shops, the school being under staffed etc.
Posts about things happening in the community in the run up to a local event, Remembrance Day Christmas etc.
Being Friday lots of local businesses advertising themselves and their services (plenty of things that would get put on an MN post about fbook tat!!)
Posts about traffic on local roads, road closures due to maintenance or fallen trees - useful when it’s the main route between semi rural towns that’s been closed!!

Dog poo. Parking. Caravan owners parking overnight where they aren't allowed. Dead/missing cats. Pedestrianisation (long running joke). Tradesmen recommendations. Massive bun fights over visitors standing on the crumbling cliffs. More dog poo.

Ours has massive green bin drama since the introduction of the new purple bins last month. People are not going to bother recycling anything from now on.

We also have lost cuddly toys, dog poo, a village hub from the other side of the city advertising what it has going on and shitty MLM’s trying to drum up business.

I only keep the group because maybe once a year there is something worth knowing, the rest of the time it’s people touting their businesses and selling shit.

Complaining about the customer service at a bakery.
And weirdly a lot of bondage stuff being sold, which is an obvious joke but it’s strange

Ours is all lost animals, broken windows and old photos from the 1960s.

Several detailed posts about activities at the local village hall, including bingo night. Closely followed by a post asking when bingo will be on and ranty comments to the effect that no-one ever tells people what's happening and it's all a closed shop etc.

Loads of adverts for MLMs and shite 'crafts'- urging people to support local businesses. One of these is asking people to donate to the MLM 'business' so she can use the money to buy stuff from her MLM to donate to 'make sure every child gets a present this Christmas'. Not link to any charity/local cause etc and no info what donations will be buying or who the recipients will be. A cynical person might wonder if it was just a way to boost her sales figures and pay her self full price for old stock.

At least it's a break from dog shit and parking

1 serious thing and one funny ongoing on ours ATM.

There was a very serious assault in our area last year and the court case is happening currently - 3 kids aged 12-15 almost killed a man. There has been a huge outporing of support to the victim and his family. The perpetrators are from an extrmely violent family locally and it has attracted a lot of attention.

Funny - people often post, does anyone know what has happened in XYZ street, loads of police/ambulances. That kind of thing. People have started posting spoof ones. Does anyone know what I keep seeing ambulances on X road (where the A&E dept is). Does anyone know why fire engines keep racing out of that building on Y road (the fire station). You'd think there was a limit to how funny these could be but people are very clever with them and even better are the people who don't realise it's a joke so jump on the - oh my god, I hope it's nothing serious. V entertaining.

@nancy75 ah no, im Hants/surrey border. It must be a common theme then!!

OP, I think we are members of the same FB group..!

Discussing what the youth club at the local community centre have been up to
Asking if anyone knows where to get lip fillers
A cat has been attacked