What’s going on in your local FB group?

[Glassofshloer]

Shamelessly inspired by another thread of a similar nature some time ago, what is going on in your local FB group this week?

Mine is:
Drone photos of the local area
A complaint about the quality of social housing with accompanying ‘mould’ photos. Responses urging the poster to contact BBC news
A post urging us to feed up the local hedgehogs so they survive the winter

Found bank cards.
Feral children playing chicken and generally causing havoc.
Fly tipping.
Homeless man threatening people in the park.
I'm missing the long running saga of the escaped peacock. Now caught and rehomed fortunately.

"Urgently needed for tmrw am eyebrow threading. No car so must come here. Don't want to pay £££s"

It has some quite witty replies. Op doesn't find them funny.

Knitted poppies on a postbox.
Dodgy fckr seen walking around with lots of 'stay vigilant' 'lock doors' comments.
Message me for a Halloween trail.

Lost bank cards
Fireworks
Bins not emptied

@nancy75 haha that's brilliant

Ours has gone cat crazy. This new trend is to take a photo of a “found” cat, which is just a random cat in either your garden or a public place.
Then post declaring the cat is lost and does anyone know who it belongs to. All of these cats have owners, they are just cats roaming about.

Cheeky fuckers asking if anyone is “gifting” whatever random thing they want. Often a tumble dryer or microwave. Yeah Emma, I often like to “gift” things to randoms.

Does anyone know why there is a helicopter flying overhead? (We live near an RAF base FFS!).

Also knitted post box covers.

Just your standard local bullshit bingo.
What was that loud bang?
What’s with all the sirens?

Occasionally someone suggests calling the police because a suspicious (i e foreign) person is ‘hanging around’.

We seem to have a lot of lost cats & lost bikes. It does beg the question are the cats stealing the bikes to run off 🤔

Ours has gone cat crazy. This new trend is to take a photo of a “found” cat, which is just a random cat in either your garden or a public place.
Then post declaring the cat is lost and does anyone know who it belongs to. All of these cats have owners, they are just cats roaming about.

Those posts always makes me mad, as you always get someone suggest that the person who finds the cat "keeps" it. On my local FB group, someone found a small kitten in their garden, and several people suggested they delete the post and keep the kitten. The owner did turn up in the end (didn't know about the community group so missed the posts about her own kitten).

There's a broken bottle outside the pub
Postman is delivering mail to the wrong house
Dog walker is trying to drum up business

Asking what the old cafe is going to be turned into (a new cafe that's been open for three months already).

Asking what the food is like in the new cafe (cafe like).

Complaining that the new cafe doesn't do a Sunday roast on Tuesdays (because its a cafe, not the pub next door to the cafe).

Complaining that the new cafe doesn't do delivery.

Somebody pointing out that there are six takeaway/delivery places in 250 yards, so what the area didn't need was another takeaway, it needed a new cafe.

Somebody complaining that the 3rd takeaway/delivery place on the left doesn't offer an area to sit down like a cafe.

Somebody had their van broken into whilst they were in the new cafe.

Somebody saw a swarthy looking type round the back of the new cafe.

Swarthy looking type turns out to be a bloke called Dave from Neath who opened the new cafe after being on holiday for a fortnight, so has a bit of a tan. Dave says he'd love to see more new faces at his new cafe.

Somebody asks what happened to the previous owners of the new cafe.

The swarthy type/actually Dave is then apparently seen on somebody's bargain basement CCTV 'casing the joint' and everybody needs to keep an eye on their vehicles/dogs/houses and report any caravans and motor homes seen in the area.

Dave replies that he moved in two doors down five months ago and the casing the joint is him taking the dog for a walk and picking up a fox turd off his front driveway before the dog rolls in it.

Somebody asks what the food is like at the new cafe.

The answer is 'don't know, but there's going to be problems if the council doesn't sort out the bins this week', especially if there are caravan owners lurking in the area.

Somebody posts 'racist, much?'.

Anarchy ensues, the guy who owns the new cafe is quoted as saying he's had loads of trouble with people who own caravans hanging around his back door, Dave says 'You certainly weren't talking to me', the local Councillor is tagged ten times about bins and three times about caravans, somebody suggests holding a meeting about 'It' and they decide it would be a good idea to hold the meeting at the new cafe when it opens next month, as they've been chatting to the new owner who is called Geoff and comes from Portsmouth...

Someone was reported for parking in a disabled parking spot without a badge. She was very upset as she has ‘a bad back’. 30+ posts telling her she’s a dick.

Cryptic messages along the lines of ‘if your nanny was in the park with your toddler twins at around 5pm, please message me. I witnessed some behavior you might want to know about’

‘A tree fell down outside my house in the recent high winds - who do I contact?’ Someone helpfully suggested the ‘branch manager’.

Lots of buying and selling of second hand furniture, cars and kids stuff, along with recommendations for workmen.

Escaped sheep making it past an electric fence and egging on its mates to do the same 😁voltage has now been increased but will it get out again?

People moving to the area looking for recommendations.
A local survey for school children that worried parents - totally legit in the end
Local acting group showing at the theatre
Town band playing in the square this weekend
A few job adverts in the town and a few teenagers looking for work!
Ours is usually quite boring, but there’s a town not too far that has a community page that never fails to be hilarious so I get a lot of enjoyment from there!

Missing/late Hermes parcels - every single day!

Concerns about a friendly rat which has decided to become flat mates with someones pet rabbit.

Newspaper delivers boys not in hi-vi
New cables installed ruining the look of the paths
What kind of spider is this?
Fishmoungers need people to buy there or they'll have to close
Cafe needs people to buy there or they'll have to close

All very exciting stuff

One women posts twee life affirmation memes every single morning .
Lots of old school photos from 50s and 60s.
Lots of Canadian people looking for family roots.
Vandalism of the brand new play Park.
Lots of sheep/cattle out on the road.
And an anti vaxer covid denier has moved into the village and is very vocal about our GP starting to do boosters. He has an anonymous FB profile along the lines of Ste.Ven but as there are only 40 houses here we know who he is 🤣

Constant requests for the same cats, who get lost most months, and everyone has to check sheds etc. Always 'no collar, shy, don't approach'.

A cat that's been missing for 6 months. Owner Deb is distraught, asking for our prayers on a weekly basis.

Someone has found a cat in the local park which is overlooked by houses on all four sides, cat looks well cared for, Deb of missing cat fame gets her hopes up, rush for Scanner Kath or Scanner Pat to come and check the micro chip, post from Sue who lives by the park to confirm it's just her cat Elvis and he likes hanging out in the park.

Posts about gangs of kids by the shops and how it was better in the old days when you could beat the shit out of children.

Beautiful pictures of the local area in the early 1900”s.
Lovely comparison of now & then.

Also headstones. I am a “friend of a cemetery “. Fascinating info about that persons life given by a volunteer who has researched.

Then there’s dog poo. Lost Keyes found, kids teddies/wellies/a shoe….
questions about police/ambulance on a certain road at a certain time…what’s going on there then??
Scratched/damaged cars, did anyone see anything??
Parking wars, HIGE parking wars, photos of arsehole parking over 2 spots, sideways on, on paths etc.
Also really really nice “found an elderly gentleman in a cafe, doesn’t know his name or where he lives” followed by a description and a couple of clues to identity. Lots of those kind. There’s usually a follow up to it, where family are quickly found and the person is home safe.

My Facebook world is a nice world.

Halloween etiquette rules. Lit pumpkin = kids can knock the door. Unlit pumpkin / no pumpkin do not knock door.

In the area I plan on moving to it’s all car parking charges, lost cats, rants about zero NHS dentists and fighting o er local MPs who have had affairs and deserve to be ‘pushed off a cliff’ apparently.

Someone held the bin men hostage.

Bin gate is all over the group. New recycling bins with very complicated rules. The village plays virtual BINgo every week now to see who can get the most ticks on the tag of doom explaining why your bin wasn’t emptied. Someone got a tag and lost their shit and blocked the bin men in the cul de sac. The council have even joined the fb group now!

So much moaning …..
Potholes
Roadworks
Naughty kids by the shops - not naughty really just lads having the audacity to be out at night getting a burger and talking to each other.

Plus the usual lost bank cards / teddies / dead cats

Videos from the same man leaving food out for the local fox every night - everyone else complaining about the local fox.
Enquiries into why police vans were seen outside a house.
Complaints about parking near the primary school.
Same woman advertising art work of local area. People asking for recommendations mainly for cleaners
Dog poo