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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Men on Mumsnet!

331 replies

AnnieSnap · 14/10/2021 18:42

AIBU to wonder why some men are on Mumsnet? I don’t have strong feelings about it, I’m not anti-men and the posts from men I have come across on here have all been fine, but it just strikes me as odd that these reasonable men would become a part of an obviously women’s forum. Sleazy men, it would make sense, but decent blokes?

OP posts:
DoormatBob · 14/10/2021 20:22

I found mumsnet when reading up on some conditions/complications DW was having during pregnancy.

It's the only place I can think of where there is just general day-to-day chat about everyday life. I find myself quickly skimming down the Active threads page most days. Other man-forums are typically based around a niche interest.

There have been times I've started to respond on a thread then not posted worried my comment wouldn't be welcomed so I try to judge the tone of some threads and often don't comment even if I'm interested in the topic.

I usually declare my man-part-owner status if relevant just because I know it can get a different response and again I don't want people to feel I have misled them.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 14/10/2021 20:25

@DoormatBob

There have been times I've started to respond on a thread then not posted worried my comment wouldn't be welcomed so I try to judge the tone of some threads and often don't comment even if I'm interested in the topic

Don't do this. You're just as welcome to comment as anyone else. Maybe avoid threads about things like sore bf nipples and dodgy downstairs areas though 😂

DrSbaitso · 14/10/2021 20:26

[quote Wazzzzzzzup]@DrSbaitso even better. Toilet brushes and bath mats😁[/quote]
Yes!

And then, having shaken them up, time to bring in...

HOT TUBS

ladygindiva · 14/10/2021 20:28

I like to hear a man's opinion on some matters, it's another view which is useful. I think mumsnet would be a bit lesser without that, same goes for non parents.

Classica · 14/10/2021 20:29

The men on MN that annoy me are the ones that make a proxy appearance via a 'well my DH thinks...' comment.

I imagine some know-it-all bore reading a thread over his wife's shoulder and saying 'Amanda, tell Mumsnet that your hubby thinks the OP is a disgrace'

Annonnimoouse42 · 14/10/2021 20:29

I'll never forget 'the yoni man' 😆

SpindleWharl · 14/10/2021 20:29

@AnnieSnap

AIBU to wonder why some men are on Mumsnet? I don’t have strong feelings about it, I’m not anti-men and the posts from men I have come across on here have all been fine, but it just strikes me as odd that these reasonable men would become a part of an obviously women’s forum. Sleazy men, it would make sense, but decent blokes?
That's a fairly incoherent presentation of an idea, if you don't mind me saying.
JesusIsAnyNameFree · 14/10/2021 20:33

@Classica

The men on MN that annoy me are the ones that make a proxy appearance via a 'well my DH thinks...' comment.

I imagine some know-it-all bore reading a thread over his wife's shoulder and saying 'Amanda, tell Mumsnet that your hubby thinks the OP is a disgrace'

😂😂
EnigmaCat · 14/10/2021 20:34

I just joined to post a reply. I tended to lurk on /relationships having a background in counselling and find the more detailed threads interesting.
AIBU for the 'yikes!' factor and /litterbox, as I turned into a 'crazy cat person' at an early age.
Reading a variety of others opinions on subjects I know little about helps me become less insular.

PurpleDaisies · 14/10/2021 20:37

@ladygindiva

I like to hear a man's opinion on some matters, it's another view which is useful. I think mumsnet would be a bit lesser without that, same goes for non parents.
Why is one man’s view any more valuable than the range of opinions you get from female posters in all sorts of different situations?
Londongent · 14/10/2021 20:39

I'm a parent, but I joined for the property forum, and I stayed for the parking, CF and woo chats in the AIBU forum

Incognito22333 · 14/10/2021 20:39

I actually wish there were more men on Mumsnet who comment regularly. In a chat forum I would welcome more diversity on all
levels.

Classica · 14/10/2021 20:41

@MelKarnofskyCrane

I just imagine they’re all like Kevin from Motherland. He’s definitely a Mumsnetter Grin
He would get very emotionally invested in a thread would Kev.
MrsTerryPratchett · 14/10/2021 20:42

@Incognito22333

I actually wish there were more men on Mumsnet who comment regularly. In a chat forum I would welcome more diversity on all levels.
Except all things being equal men take up more space. I've just spent three hours in a Zoom (aaarrrrggghhhhhh) where, despite most of the participants being female, most of the droning on was male. And you do get the wall-of-text male posters even on here.

MN is a healthy balance. The male voice is 95% of the rest of the internet.

PurpleDaisies · 14/10/2021 20:44

Is it only me that’s a bit depressed that so many posters think predominantly female forum would be improved by adding more men, or that men’s views are seemingly more valued than women’s opinions.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/10/2021 20:44

@PurpleDaisies

Is it only me that’s a bit depressed that so many posters think predominantly female forum would be improved by adding more men, or that men’s views are seemingly more valued than women’s opinions.
Oooo me too.
Couchbettato · 14/10/2021 20:45

The men I see posting on here always want to know why their wife doesn't want sex with them, or just to have a bloody good moan.

I don't see any men posting about anything else.

Some comment though or lurch.

Classica · 14/10/2021 20:45

MN is a healthy balance. The male voice is 95% of the rest of the internet.

So true.

Original poster
AnnieSnap · 14/10/2021 20:46

@SpindleWharl sorry if it reds like that. What I mean is, I don’t have a problem with men on Mumsnet, but I wondered why a reasonable bloke chooses to be part of a women’s forum. I started the thread with a view to a discussion not because I was objecting to them. The men who have replied here have helped me understand and some PP have pointed out the ‘by parents, for parents’, which I’d missed. One PP said perhaps it should be called ‘Lifenet’. I think this suits the forum well since it’s evolved from being all Mums, but I can also see why it might be best to leave it with its original name.

OP posts:
Fired · 14/10/2021 20:47

@PurpleDaisies

Is it only me that’s a bit depressed that so many posters think predominantly female forum would be improved by adding more men, or that men’s views are seemingly more valued than women’s opinions.
Not alone.

Men dominate the internet, why can't we have just one space, just for women?

FuzzyPuffling · 14/10/2021 20:47

YABU.
My DH is on here and he isn't weird, or a pervert or sleazy. He's a flipping decent man who is interested in the world.

Original poster
AnnieSnap · 14/10/2021 20:48

@FuzzyPuffling

YABU. My DH is on here and he isn't weird, or a pervert or sleazy. He's a flipping decent man who is interested in the world.
As I clarified for another poster, I never said that the men here are any of those things. Maybe re-read my original post 🤷‍♀️
OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 14/10/2021 20:50

@AnnieSnap

AIBU to wonder why some men are on Mumsnet? I don’t have strong feelings about it, I’m not anti-men and the posts from men I have come across on here have all been fine, but it just strikes me as odd that these reasonable men would become a part of an obviously women’s forum. Sleazy men, it would make sense, but decent blokes?
WTF?

I'm not anti-men
You sure?

This is either intentionally goady or lacking basic understanding. Why can't men post here? If they can contribute to the conversations, I'm all for it.

Redredwiney · 14/10/2021 20:52

What I find worse is when posters struggle to accept different points of view when it comes to sex and relationships, and therefore insist you must be a man in disguise!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 14/10/2021 20:52

I'm here primarily for the litter tray.

As long as you only discuss female cats.... Grin

95% of them only hang out on the sex board, so not totally true

You've no idea how many of the regular/infrequent posters about all kinds of topics (except those discussing experiences of solely female matters such as pregnancy or breastfeeding) are male. Of course the Sex topic is going to attract a load of pervs (along with all of the non-perv sensible and rational users) like moths to a midnight flame, including many men - why do you think users have to have been registered for so long before posting there?

90+% of discussions on MN are not about parenting anyway (leaving aside the obvious fact that approximately 50% of parents are men anyway) - ideally, I don't personally want ANY rude/nasty/troll-y/disrespectful people on here at all, be they women or men, parents or not; everybody else (well, probably not U18s, to be on the safe side): all very welcome, imho.