Page 3 | Men on Mumsnet!

EmergencyPoncho · 14/10/2021 19:32

@SirHonkers

Totally sleazy man here. Mumsnet is obviously the place for horny men like me to totally pick up the needy, lonely and desperate amongst you [Insert massive eye roll emoji].

I'm on Mumsnet because in 2016 I discovered my wife's 18 month affair, I googled what I should do now. I discovered a trove of post's by people who'd been in my position. By lurking on the site I realised that as a bloke I'd get completely different replies than a women in the same situation would. I joined the site properly years later, but rarely post since most thread's seem to end in bun fights.

I'm also an ex boot neck and am on a dedicated forum, I'm on Arrse, I'm a Liverpool fan on RAWK and I'm on another forum for father's who are the RP to their kid's.

I've read many a thread on here that has helped me through difficult times and I have learnt tricks to navigate the daily grind of being a single parent by using this forum.

If that makes me a sleazy man then guilty as charged.

Good, I hope it's helped a lot. It's helped me in several ways and tbh, I see it more as Lifenet, I hardly ever read parenting posts, I'm more about the human interest element.

DoYouLikeOwls · 14/10/2021 19:32

@MelKarnofskyCrane

I just imagine they’re all like Kevin from Motherland. He’s definitely a Mumsnetter

Yes, he definitely is.

I know my DH wouldn't be interested but then some of my female friends wouldn't either.

ShrikeAttack · 14/10/2021 19:35

Mumsnet's a good forum, loads of different and fast-moving threads. Female-leaning but not exclusively for women.

I very, very rarely talk about 'mothering' subjects. I like that it's largely women but I've no objection to the odd man hanging around as long as their opening salvo isn't, 'From a man's point of view' because it's usually followed by a load of mansplaining bollox. Blokes like that are usually chased off pretty quickly though!

TonyChestnut · 14/10/2021 19:35

I'm a little scared even to attempt to answer this without being accused of mansplaining.

ShrikeAttack · 14/10/2021 19:37

I think you'll be safe @TonyChestnut, as long as you don't commit any of the above crimes!

Original poster

AnnieSnap · 14/10/2021 19:37

@Welshiefluff

Because it is a popular site and has some interesting topics.

Very odd that you assume any men on here must be sleazes. Cannot really see the logic there.

I never said that the men on here are Sleazes! I actually said I wondered why the reasonable men, whose posts I’d noticed were here rather than a man’s forum. I added that I understood why sleazy men would be here (happily I haven’t come across those myself).

I never noticed the small print ‘by parents for parents’ until it was pointed out on this thread. I just saw Mum’snet and (trans debate not withstanding), since only women are mum’s, I concluded it’s a women’s forum. I am not saying it should be though. The posts here (aside from the snippy ones that arise on every thread) are thought provoking and answer my question/thoughts. As you were Mum’snet 🙂

OP posts:

HelloChompy · 14/10/2021 19:37

I'm female but not a parent. I stumbled across mumsnet when googling an issue with my washing machine of all things! I lurked for a long time before joining and still read a lot more than I post. I have a number of nieces and nephews so do still find some of the parenting posts useful.

Charlene1971 · 14/10/2021 19:41

@IWillFindYou

Yes, why is Dadsnet so dead?

Mostly cause men don’t care that much about parenting etc stuff.

Most comments men have here are to tell all men watch porn, give sex to your husband, women do it too, namalt and that old/overweight women are gross.
That pretty much sums up what men on average have to contribute.

@IWillFindYou

Surely you aren't serious? This is unbelievably sexist! Men are a lot more intellectual than that.

My DP contributes a LOT to parenting! Always thinking of new activities ro do with DC and meals to cook for DC.

Imagine a man coming on and saying something like this about women

Charlene1971 · 14/10/2021 19:46

@SirHonkers

Totally sleazy man here. Mumsnet is obviously the place for horny men like me to totally pick up the needy, lonely and desperate amongst you [Insert massive eye roll emoji].

I'm on Mumsnet because in 2016 I discovered my wife's 18 month affair, I googled what I should do now. I discovered a trove of post's by people who'd been in my position. By lurking on the site I realised that as a bloke I'd get completely different replies than a women in the same situation would. I joined the site properly years later, but rarely post since most thread's seem to end in bun fights.

I'm also an ex boot neck and am on a dedicated forum, I'm on Arrse, I'm a Liverpool fan on RAWK and I'm on another forum for father's who are the RP to their kid's.

I've read many a thread on here that has helped me through difficult times and I have learnt tricks to navigate the daily grind of being a single parent by using this forum.

If that makes me a sleazy man then guilty as charged.

@SirHonkers

So sorry to hear about your wife's affair, how awful!

I'm assuming you guys are separated?

ShrikeAttack · 14/10/2021 19:48

That's not true @IWillFindYou, there are a few male posters on here as regular contributors that I recognise and they all post in very similar ways to the women.

Granted, there are certain topics that I'm sure set of claxons on punternet (or whatever it's called), 4chan and certain subreddits that get an influx of dickheads with unpalatable views.

The regular male posters, few and far between though they are, just pop up on regular threads, sharing very standard opinions. Some men just like the atmosphere in here for non-nefarious reasons.

donquixotedelamancha · 14/10/2021 19:48

Most comments men have here are to tell all men watch porn, give sex to your husband, women do it too, namalt and that old/overweight women are gross. That pretty much sums up what men on average have to contribute.

How would you know the sex of all the commenters?

Certainly anyone who announces their manhood where it isn't relevant is very likely to make dickish comments, but that's the same phenomenon as women commenting 'all men think ...' being dicks too.

TravelLost · 14/10/2021 19:50

Because it’s a parenting forum first and foremost and men are parents?

I mean if we have finally` have men who are interested in nappies, sleep schedule, I proving relationship etc… I’m all for it tbh.

I do think most would get a shock at reading some IABU threads, let alone the feminist boards. They could still learn though.

donquixotedelamancha · 14/10/2021 19:51

Yes, why is Dadsnet so dead?

Because there are very few topics which need discussion on a male only forum. Generally for those topics there are already specialist websites.

SirHonkers · 14/10/2021 19:59

@Charlene1971

Yeah, I left the relationship straight away, filed for divorce after a few weeks, took about a year to get through the divorce. I got primary custody of the kids, ex got EOW and an evening each week.

ShrikeAttack · 14/10/2021 20:02

I think more men could do with joining MN, I read the black MN area (but don't post), and I've learnt a lot from it, it's made me examine some of my ideas and even though I consider myself completely non-racist, seeing black women talk about certain subjects has made me realise that I probably do carry some unconscious behaviours that I'd never really thought about.

So I'd advise men to read MN, particularly the relationship section, and have a little think about themselves.

I'm pretty sure DH joined briefly years ago when we were going through a sticky patch and had some very salient advice!

(He's a top-notch bloke BTW, there was just something we couldn't agree on and were just going round in circles).

GoingOutOutNEVER · 14/10/2021 20:04

Maybe mums and dads net should become parent net or just NET

Libertaire · 14/10/2021 20:06

I assume there are men on MN for the same reasons I am on Pistonheads. Because it’s a lively place to chat about stuff which interests you.

Geamhradh · 14/10/2021 20:06

@AnnieSnap

AIBU to wonder why some men are on Mumsnet? I don’t have strong feelings about it, I’m not anti-men and the posts from men I have come across on here have all been fine, but it just strikes me as odd that these reasonable men would become a part of an obviously women’s forum. Sleazy men, it would make sense, but decent blokes?

You don't have a strong feeling about it yet needed to start a thread? They're probably here because it's byline is "by parents for parents" Or they want a shag.

FrankButchersDickieBow · 14/10/2021 20:06

@MelKarnofskyCrane

I just imagine they’re all like Kevin from Motherland. He’s definitely a Mumsnetter

😆😆 definitely!!

PurpleDaisies · 14/10/2021 20:08

They're probably here because it's byline is "by parents for parents"

I doubt that’s it. I think most of us just stumble on mumsnet while googling something random and like that it’s a busy, varied discussion forum.

Polmuggle · 14/10/2021 20:10

95% of them only hang out on the sex board, so not totally true

@BarefootHippieChick what's your evidence for this?

DrSbaitso · 14/10/2021 20:17

@Libertaire

I assume there are men on MN for the same reasons I am on Pistonheads. Because it’s a lively place to chat about stuff which interests you.

Do me a favour? Can you start a thread on there about Christmas Eve boxes and report back?

TomPinch · 14/10/2021 20:20

@TwinsandTrifle

I used MN about a decade ago, probably more, and it was a very different place. A man being on then presumably was allowed, but did not happen, ever. And I used MN a lot. It was literally mums net. Pretty much what it said on the tin. Mums.

I rejoined again more recently and whilst I'm used to it now, found it really odd initially that there were so many non-parents and men. Actually, after the "hold on, this is weird and not the same," it's much better.

It did happen because I joined Mumsnet in 2009 / 2010 (I've had a name change since then). I don't recall that I was the only man around. I joined because I wanted to discuss parenting issues and get some advice. And I stayed because the discussions are interesting. Sometimes they're crazy, other times I've got some real insights.

IMO suspicion towards men on MN has increased over the last 5 years.

Wazzzzzzzup · 14/10/2021 20:21

@DrSbaitso even better. Toilet brushes and bath mats😁

TomPinch · 14/10/2021 20:22

@ShrikeAttack

I think more men could do with joining MN, I read the black MN area (but don't post), and I've learnt a lot from it, it's made me examine some of my ideas and even though I consider myself completely non-racist, seeing black women talk about certain subjects has made me realise that I probably do carry some unconscious behaviours that I'd never really thought about.

So I'd advise men to read MN, particularly the relationship section, and have a little think about themselves.

I'm pretty sure DH joined briefly years ago when we were going through a sticky patch and had some very salient advice!

(He's a top-notch bloke BTW, there was just something we couldn't agree on and were just going round in circles).

Yes, I can attest to this.