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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend won’t let me bring my gecko to her house. Aibu?

315 replies

IndraOnTheMountain · 14/10/2021 16:44

I’m going to visit my friend for the weekend soon with my kids.

We have to look after the school gecko for half term, so I asked if we could bring him with us. He’s very small and his tank is only shoe box sized so this seemed quite reasonable to me.

She responded in an extremely abrupt way to say that I couldn’t bring him and would need to find another arrangement. She was particularly irate about the idea I would need to bring live crickets to feed him with. I reassured her that feeding geckos crickets is totally ethical, and that they are in an escape proof container but she was resolute. Tbh I think she was drunk.

I feel really hurt that she wouldn’t allow what seems like quite a small request! If she wanted to bring her gecko to my house I would be totally okay with that. It’s very inconvenient for me too, I think that she just doesn’t value my time or friendship. I’m already having to make arrangements for my dog and chickens when we go to visit so the gecko is just a step too far.

Aibu?

OP posts:
justbackfrombangkok · 15/10/2021 00:39

this

justbackfrombangkok · 15/10/2021 00:41

Oh. didn't work. It was the water monitor in the shop.

Saoirse82 · 15/10/2021 00:54

I'd have no issue with the gecko but it would be the crickets for me, no way.

steff13 · 15/10/2021 01:01

@Thelikelylass

My guests normally bring wine or flowers but I'm going to insist on some reptilian gift next time. A bunch of lillies simply won't do.
Same. Tree frog or better in this house.
PrincessFiorimonde · 15/10/2021 01:24
Grin
Greygreenblue · 15/10/2021 01:35

@Gilead

Most odd, you’re not usually allowed reptiles in schools.
Really? Is this a thing in UK? What are you allowed to have?

Our daycare has a turtle, fish, guinea pigs and a lizard. Our primary school has chickens, rabbits and guinea pigs. The odd class also has fish and occasionally raise tadpoles.

Why would reptiles not be allowed? I get why not a venemous snake but reptiles more generally? Kids aren’t even likely to be allergic to them (this is a point of contention in my house. I am allergic to guinea pigs and therefore refuse to let my kids sign up to look after them on weekends).

Greygreenblue · 15/10/2021 01:38

Blerg , got totally side tracked by that comment. OP you can’t be serious? We’re a bit nuts about animals here but I wouldn’t expect to be able to take any animal and their live food to someone else’s house.

Redsquirrel5 · 15/10/2021 01:52

You could bring it to mine. I used to catch wild geckos when I was a kid and let them go a few days later.

I went on holiday to my friend who had moved when I was 12 she had a Blue Tongued lizard who loved mashed banana. It lived in her room. Now that was a lizard.

You could have a Pet Sitter. There are several companies. I am thinking of doing it. The person comes to your house and looks after named animals and maybe water plants etc . One person has quite a few animals including two pigs!

BathMatToe · 15/10/2021 02:07

Ooh put this in classics... How amazing.
What a great thread.
Totally hilarious.
OP do you write for a living? You should. Marvellous.
Splendid.

Or back in the real world.
Who really thinks taking pets and live insects into a pals house is normal?

labazslovesliving · 15/10/2021 02:12

she is kind enough to offer for you to stop don't take the piss, I'm liberal but Jeez live crickets and a gecko nope sorry stay at home

TooBigForMyBoots · 15/10/2021 02:21

@IndraOnTheMountain

Well it’s the class gecko so I don’t have him here yet.. when I do I’ll update with a photo.

The situation has deteriorated. She’s messaged me to say “absolutely no alive animals” - it’s a bit beyond the pale to make jokes about pet death. Especially when it comes to animals we’ve been given such a big responsibility for. I’m quite shocked.
She did apologise for this comment after but I’m still quite upset about it, it seems a bit much really.

She is no friend of yours and no friend of animals.Angry She has shown you who she really is believe her. Cut her out of your life and move on.Flowers
EmbarrassingMama · 15/10/2021 02:32

Are your chickens house trained?

EmeraldShamrock · 15/10/2021 02:51

Cut her out of your life and move on
That's extreme.

viques · 15/10/2021 03:08

@Eralos

If he more concerned the grasshoppers would Escape and I’d have grass hoppers in my house. (I’ve seen this happen before)
We had escaped stick insects for years. God knows what they were feeding on, every so often something would catch your eye and there would be another of them wonkily negotiating a curtain or meandering across the ceiling. Luckily they were little ones, not the giant ones that look as though they could reach up your nostrils and pull out brain snippets.
viques · 15/10/2021 03:13

@Greygreenblue I am surprised you allow turtles into a day care setting. They are well known for carrying, and spreading, salmonella .

Sitchervice · 15/10/2021 03:15

As someone who keeps a gecko myself, please do not take this Gecko to someones house. They can be stressed for 24 hours. It will. Be fine at your home alone. They don't even need feeding every day. Just make sure it has crickets in its Vivarium before you go.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/10/2021 03:17

You don't need to take the gecko with you. It will be fine on its own for the weekend. Geckos don't need feeding every day either.

So YABU.

Soggychip · 15/10/2021 03:21

This is so going to end up in the Daily Mail.

Anon778833 · 15/10/2021 03:25

I think YABU. It’s not really fair to impose this on your friend.

As an aside, Why do schools persist in having pets like this? Schools just aren’t a good place to keep pets. Dd3’s primary school decided to buy two rabbits when she was there and they kept them in a tiny hutch. It was so cruel, and I was so upset that I paid for them to have a much bigger hutch recommended by the rabbits welfare society and I got it delivered to the school. The poor rabbits didn’t live very long but at least they had more space than they would have.

TooBigForMyBoots · 15/10/2021 03:26

@EmeraldShamrock

Cut her out of your life and move on That's extreme.
Is not.
Offmyfence · 15/10/2021 03:29

@ThePlumVan

Imagine the sound of the crickets at night calling to each other ‘love you JohnBoy, good luck for tomorrow’ Sad
GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/10/2021 03:33

@justbackfrombangkok - that is one BIG lizard! Shock
We have some big monitors in Australia, but I've never seen one THAT size!

sashh · 15/10/2021 03:43

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

I had exactly the same problem when I was looking after the school crocodile and wanted to visit my friend who has a sheep farm. I told her that I'd bring my own carcasses to feed it but oh no that wasn't 'acceptable'. It made me laugh though as she was the one that got all snappy over it. Hmm
Well my school had a T-rex, everyone took their turn to take her home for the holidays. There was an incident with a younger sister disappearing one time she was taken home, but that was just a coincidence.
TasteTheMeatNotTheHeat · 15/10/2021 03:46

Why does the gecko live in a shoebox sized viv? Doesn't it have any additional equipment, ie heat mat or lamp. Poor thing.

Anyway, some people are really freaked out by having to feed animals live insects. I have kept various unusual pets and a lot of people recoiled in horror when they stumbled across my insect pen. Personally it doesn't bother me but I totally get why it would bother someone else. Her house, her rules. Just drop it.