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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend won’t let me bring my gecko to her house. Aibu?

315 replies

IndraOnTheMountain · 14/10/2021 16:44

I’m going to visit my friend for the weekend soon with my kids.

We have to look after the school gecko for half term, so I asked if we could bring him with us. He’s very small and his tank is only shoe box sized so this seemed quite reasonable to me.

She responded in an extremely abrupt way to say that I couldn’t bring him and would need to find another arrangement. She was particularly irate about the idea I would need to bring live crickets to feed him with. I reassured her that feeding geckos crickets is totally ethical, and that they are in an escape proof container but she was resolute. Tbh I think she was drunk.

I feel really hurt that she wouldn’t allow what seems like quite a small request! If she wanted to bring her gecko to my house I would be totally okay with that. It’s very inconvenient for me too, I think that she just doesn’t value my time or friendship. I’m already having to make arrangements for my dog and chickens when we go to visit so the gecko is just a step too far.

Aibu?

OP posts:
TubeOfSmarties · 15/10/2021 13:14

I don't believe this is real, but on the slight offchance that it might be... your friend is absolutely right to say so if she doesn't want animals in her house and YABU not to respect that. Find out from the school how long it can be left without being fed (presumably it stays on its own in the classroom most weekends) and if you can't look after it, let them know so that someone else can.

Maireas · 15/10/2021 17:00

@LonelySock

Gosh, I feel quite shocked at being so far against the majority of responses.

If I'd been your friend, I'd have merely found it amusing and interesting. So much better than a class bear 😆

Safe to say having read this now that very few people here would cope with living in hot countries where "wild" geckos are encouraged to live in houses as they keep the flying insect population down. They are lovely helpful creatures, and the only time I minded sharing my house with them was when one was propelled from the air con unit at speed 😆

Sadly, I have to concede I am the tiny minority.

I loved the little geckos when I was in Borneo - they'd scuttle everywhere and amuse the children. Anyway, we had to get a cover for the toaster because they'd fall in and get toasted!
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 15/10/2021 18:18

Live Crickets Smile

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/10/2021 18:45

@LonelySock - as I said to the OP, the fact that you would be cool about a visiting gecko is completely irrelevant. The OP’s friend is not happy about it, and it is HER house, so she gets to decide who, and what can or cannot visit.

Member984815 · 15/10/2021 18:52

Yabu , if she doesn't want it in the house it's up to her. I'd love to have a gecko come to stay for the weekend but lots of people wouldn't

FatCatThinCat · 15/10/2021 18:54

I wouldn't want a gecko in my house or around my children either. They're buggers for spreading disease and I'm surprised it's even allowed as a class pet as young children aren't supposed to come into contact with them.

Hoppinggreen · 15/10/2021 18:57

@FatCatThinCat

I wouldn't want a gecko in my house or around my children either. They're buggers for spreading disease and I'm surprised it's even allowed as a class pet as young children aren't supposed to come into contact with them.
Really? I don’t see how ours could catch any disease. He has no contact with anyone or anything apart from DD and the inside of his viv. He doesn’t get live food and is pretty clean
Mudandrain · 15/10/2021 19:10

😂😂😂😂

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 15/10/2021 19:15

This is a bizarre thread.
You're going to stay overnight with a friend and you then agreed to have the class gecko and are cross now as your friend has said you can't take the gecko in a tank with you to her house?

Why agree to have a class pet when you have plans to go away?

It's so entitled. If your friend says no, then it's a no. I'm shocked you even asked
Most people don't take pets with them when they stay at other peoples houses

Just because you have chickens that come into your house and sit in your sofa??! Eeewwww....
So You think everyone will welcome your pets?

I've heard it all!

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 15/10/2021 19:17

I don’t think she’s ‘joking about pet death’ - she is simply stating her boundaries - she doesn’t want you bringing any pets and/or their living foodstuffs to her house.

And the bottom line is that it IS her house, and she is under no obligation to accommodate animals, if she doesn’t want to. The fact that you’d happily welcome geckos as guests is completely irrelevant - you have every right to say what happens in your home but NO right to say what happens in hers.

It really isn’t that hard to understand this.

This ^ x1000

Junkmail · 15/10/2021 19:36

We have several replies. Palming it off on someone on school holidays is ridiculous. This is why I hate class pets. Show box size tank? Also ridiculous. That’s far too small. Not everyone wants live insects brought into their home—your friend is being fair.

LonelySock · 15/10/2021 19:40

[quote SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]@LonelySock - as I said to the OP, the fact that you would be cool about a visiting gecko is completely irrelevant. The OP’s friend is not happy about it, and it is HER house, so she gets to decide who, and what can or cannot visit.[/quote]
And she asked if she was being unreasonable.

It wouldn't be for me, and I expressed surprise I was in the clear minority.

LonginesPrime · 15/10/2021 19:41

Gosh, I feel quite shocked at being so far against the majority of responses.

If I'd been your friend, I'd have merely found it amusing and interesting.

You're missing the point, though - the gecko itself is irrelevant to OP's issue. I suspect that the majority of posters who think OP is BU likely have no strong feelings either way about geckos.

This is about someone setting boundaries and being perfectly within their rights to say what animals (if any) guests can bring into their home.

I have no issue with geckos personally but thats really not the point here.

Duchess379 · 15/10/2021 19:45

😆😂😆😂😆

NannyOggsWhiskyStash · 15/10/2021 19:47

But it is a bit of an overreaction, she could have just said she would rather not have a wee gecko as a house guest. I for one, cannot fathom why you wouldn't be delighted if a friend popped round with a gecko. It's not a fricken Llama!

MissCruellaDeVil · 15/10/2021 19:51

WTF!😂

Hankunamatata · 15/10/2021 20:04

Hell no would have been my response to you

Offmyfence · 15/10/2021 20:06

@NannyOggsWhiskyStash

But it is a bit of an overreaction, she could have just said she would rather not have a wee gecko as a house guest. I for one, cannot fathom why you wouldn't be delighted if a friend popped round with a gecko. It's not a fricken Llama!
Yep I agree!

Or a boar?

DBI78 · 15/10/2021 20:17

New to Mumsnet. What's a reverse?
Also perfectly reasonable to say no to gecko 🦎

Amiwronghere · 15/10/2021 20:30

Are YOU drunk?!

Daphnise · 15/10/2021 20:32

Keep taking the pills....

Lennybenny · 15/10/2021 20:42

YABU. Only people who like animals like Geckos would volunteer to look after one. Why would you impose that on someone else? I get the feeling you've had major sense of humour failure by getting annoyed at her no alive animals message. I'd be annoyed if someone asked to bring any animals to my home.

iklboo · 15/10/2021 21:45

You know, I think we could base a MN musical on this:

Do I let my friend go?
She won't accommodate my gecko
My arguments are all so futile
She won't let me bring my reptile
His tank is very small
But she won't budge at all
It's not just about the etiquette
She won't have me bringing the crickets
Oh no no I'm such a fool
How do I explain it to the school?

MrsPnut · 15/10/2021 21:48

We have three geckos and never had to take them any where for the weekend. They do go to a particular friend for boarding if we go on holiday because our eldest doesn’t like live feeding. The crestie stays at home because they are powder fed.

Anon778833 · 15/10/2021 21:52

@iklboo

You know, I think we could base a MN musical on this:

Do I let my friend go?
She won't accommodate my gecko
My arguments are all so futile
She won't let me bring my reptile
His tank is very small
But she won't budge at all
It's not just about the etiquette
She won't have me bringing the crickets
Oh no no I'm such a fool
How do I explain it to the school?

🤣🤣🤣