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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours kids are targeting us to the point we don’t feel comfortable living here

111 replies

Rosie1990x · 14/10/2021 16:09

Hi everyone. I’m new here so wasn’t really sure where to post. If my thread shouldn’t be here please move it or ask me to remove it.

In august we moved to a new house in a quiet (so we thought) area. I had just been diagnosed with a benign brain tumour so we needed the peace and to move somewhere cheaper as my husband can only work part time now. We have two DS’s. 7 months and 19 months.

In the first month we met our neighbours attached to us who are lovely. They told us the kids on the street were sometimes an issue as they’re always allowed to roam freely and their parents aren’t really interested. They also mentioned the previous people who rented our house were ‘very well loved’ and ‘big characters of the street’ - we’re quite the opposite of this and prefer to keep ourselves to ourselves.

It’s now become apparent in the past month that the little boy who lives directly across from us is targeting our family and I’ve no idea what to do about it as he’s only around 10-11 years old. We have caught him numerous times throwing footballs up to our 1 year old sons window (which he has to come down our driveway to get to) in a bid to clearly wake him and cause distress. He KNOWS an infant is in that bedroom as we’ve heard him giggling about it with his friends. My husband has gone out before and asked what he’s playing at. He just runs off at the time but never stops.

Now he is becoming increasingly more abusive towards us. He shouts racial slurs at our house with his friends on the street (they’re all between 10-12 years old) and he has recently started following my poor, lovely husband calling him a paedophile. He literally screams at the top of his lungs that my husband is a Paedo!!
On another occasion he was loudly telling one of his friends outside our open bedroom window that his mum says we’re the street weirdos and none of them like us.

Last weekend we set a security camera up as someone keeps deflating my husbands car tyres. The camera points down onto our drive. Problem child saw this camera and got his friends together to chant that we were weirdos. When my husband is face to face with him (such as if he passes him in the street) the boy says nothing.

We’ve never bothered anyone on this street. We’re polite when spoken to but we don’t bother a single soul. We never would.

I don’t know how to approach this. The paedophile comments have really sent me as it is such a serious accusation. My husband is devastated.

Legally where do we stand with children committing this anti social behaviour? My husband has gone round to approach his parents but they’re literally never home. He’s about 10 and roams the streets alone pretty much all the time. He doesn’t appear to go to school.

Any input would be great.

Thanks.

OP posts:
duckme · 14/10/2021 20:01

As you're renting I would definitely move. I know it's the last thing you'll want to do and really shouldn't have to. But I think you'll have an ongoing battle with this family.
I would however, contact the police with a diary of everything that has happened, just before leaving. The boy is a nuisance at the minute but he clearly is lacking in parental guidance and requires some level of intervention.

CornishTiger · 14/10/2021 20:06

@fourminutestosavetheworld

I do wonder whether pp suggesting the police have ever lived in an area with this sort of social problem, or had to deal with similar. They will get a ticking off if you're lucky, and then come back threefold.

Ditto social services. You can report but the bar is very high for any sort of intervention.

See if a friendly approach to parents works and, if not, look to move.

Yes I have actually. He threaten to kill me after years of hell and is still living two doors away. He was convicted after the police finally were able to do so.
GreyGoose1980 · 14/10/2021 20:07

Hi OP
So sorry to hear you are going through this. I would move - sometimes we are just faced with horrific neighbours and the situations rarely resolve themselves. As pp have said just as you are moving call the police and report the boy. Racial slurs / racially motivated harassment are a hate crime and they will take it very seriously.

thatsnotmyzoo · 14/10/2021 20:08

@Saoirse82

I'd be extremely wary of contacting the police. In certain areas this would be deemed a crime in itself and would do you absolutely no favours on the street. I'm guessing that a lot of mumsnetters who are suggesting this have never lived in an area like this and it could potentially escalate the situation and have the whole street turn on you. I'd suggest speaking to your next door neighbours and seeing if they can suggest anything, and you could bring up the possibility of the police with them, if they're well established in the street they may be able to suggest something. And of course try again to speak to the parents. It's a terrible situation to be in and I really feel for you and your family. Sounds like the boy has been dragged so I wouldn't even expect much from the parents. The police can actually do very little besides having a word and it sounds like it would be water off a ducks back to these types up people and will do nothing but rile them up.
I agree with this. You might get a good result from the Police but I think it’s more likely that they won’t do much at all and it could escalate the abuse. My experience is that the parents won’t give a shit, they’ll just say oh it’s a kid throwing a ball and saying daft stuff, being a kid. And meanwhile you get even more trouble from the kid who now knows he’s (even more) untouchable and any neighbours who are close knit start murmuring about you too.

Just move, swallow the cost and call it a lucky escape for your own mental health. You can’t win with neighbours like this.

rrhuth · 14/10/2021 20:29

Oh OP Flowers how awful!

I was greatly cheered up when I saw you rent privately - at least this street is only your problem for a few more months if you find somewhere else.

Personally I would start prepping to move now, honestly life is far too short.

bubbletrumps · 14/10/2021 20:33

We were targeted for 10 years by a neighbour's brat. We owned the house and weren't in a position to move, but we did in the end because I became mentally unwell because of it.

Honestly, just move. Nothing ever improves with these types of people.

fourminutestosavetheworld · 14/10/2021 20:44

"Yes I have actually. He threaten to kill me after years of hell and is still living two doors away. He was convicted after the police finally were able to do so."

I don't consider that a success. OP, you have a chance to get parents on board, it's possible. If not, move. You don't need years of escalating behaviour and a conviction if you're lucky, all while living in the same community as these awful people. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

purpleme12 · 14/10/2021 20:47

If no one reports them it will continue!

2bazookas · 14/10/2021 21:24

I think it would stand you in good stead (with the police and other neighbours) if, in the first instance, you tell the parents everything their child has done and ask them to make sure it stops, right away, for good. I'd do that in writing as a letter, (keep copies) but hand it to them in person.

 If they don't deal with the child, then take it to police.
DesdamonasHandkerchief · 14/10/2021 21:45

Thank god you rent and haven't bought, I would move. I know costs are incurred but your mental health and the wellbeing of your family isn't worth staying put and hoping things improve. I would be asking the landlord to find a new tenant, and looking closely at the small print of the rental agreement, maybe you can enact a break clause after six months.

Tlittle · 14/10/2021 21:48

I had similar minus the racial abuse.The kids were awful and the parents said as they had ADHD wasn't their fault.Everyone in the street had issues with them the mum was nice the dad a total wack job.We moved in the end x
Hope it gets better for you

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