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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours kids are targeting us to the point we don’t feel comfortable living here

111 replies

Rosie1990x · 14/10/2021 16:09

Hi everyone. I’m new here so wasn’t really sure where to post. If my thread shouldn’t be here please move it or ask me to remove it.

In august we moved to a new house in a quiet (so we thought) area. I had just been diagnosed with a benign brain tumour so we needed the peace and to move somewhere cheaper as my husband can only work part time now. We have two DS’s. 7 months and 19 months.

In the first month we met our neighbours attached to us who are lovely. They told us the kids on the street were sometimes an issue as they’re always allowed to roam freely and their parents aren’t really interested. They also mentioned the previous people who rented our house were ‘very well loved’ and ‘big characters of the street’ - we’re quite the opposite of this and prefer to keep ourselves to ourselves.

It’s now become apparent in the past month that the little boy who lives directly across from us is targeting our family and I’ve no idea what to do about it as he’s only around 10-11 years old. We have caught him numerous times throwing footballs up to our 1 year old sons window (which he has to come down our driveway to get to) in a bid to clearly wake him and cause distress. He KNOWS an infant is in that bedroom as we’ve heard him giggling about it with his friends. My husband has gone out before and asked what he’s playing at. He just runs off at the time but never stops.

Now he is becoming increasingly more abusive towards us. He shouts racial slurs at our house with his friends on the street (they’re all between 10-12 years old) and he has recently started following my poor, lovely husband calling him a paedophile. He literally screams at the top of his lungs that my husband is a Paedo!!
On another occasion he was loudly telling one of his friends outside our open bedroom window that his mum says we’re the street weirdos and none of them like us.

Last weekend we set a security camera up as someone keeps deflating my husbands car tyres. The camera points down onto our drive. Problem child saw this camera and got his friends together to chant that we were weirdos. When my husband is face to face with him (such as if he passes him in the street) the boy says nothing.

We’ve never bothered anyone on this street. We’re polite when spoken to but we don’t bother a single soul. We never would.

I don’t know how to approach this. The paedophile comments have really sent me as it is such a serious accusation. My husband is devastated.

Legally where do we stand with children committing this anti social behaviour? My husband has gone round to approach his parents but they’re literally never home. He’s about 10 and roams the streets alone pretty much all the time. He doesn’t appear to go to school.

Any input would be great.

Thanks.

OP posts:
RockinHorseShit · 14/10/2021 17:11

Definitely contact the police. They have specialist teams for younger age group

If you want to be nice about it, you could try talking to his parents first. Send DH & explain that it's not just this boy, but he is the ring leader & you don't want to cause trouble for them but getting the police involved, but can't put up with this either due to your ill health & the fact that it is abusive.

Keep a diary & collect video evidence too

So sorry your dealing with this at a time you need peace, I hope it resolves soon Thanks

WilsonandNoodles · 14/10/2021 17:13

What a horrible situation to move into, especially when ill. I think I would start by writing a note and posting it through his door. List the various problems, not stating that the child is responsible for anything you don't know for sure ( such as the tyres) but just your suspicions that they are involved. Tell them that is any of the above or further hate crime occur again you will contact the police. Then stick to your word and report him every time there is a problem.

AutumnLeaves21 · 14/10/2021 17:18

Absolutely the police. Even if he gets a stern talking to it may shock him into behaving. Sounds like social services need to be involved if he’s running feral every day.

fourminutestosavetheworld · 14/10/2021 17:23

Personally I would not call the police as I suspect this will incite him to worse behaviour, infuriate his parents and bring other neighbours to their side.

I would persist with the parents and try to build some sort of a relationship with him - I've lived in similar areas. If they like you they leave you alone.

Go to the police if all of that fails and you have evidence of him causing real damage, such as with the car tyres.

Therealjudgejudy · 14/10/2021 17:27

100% contact the police.

Idontlike · 14/10/2021 17:32

@fourminutestosavetheworld

Personally I would not call the police as I suspect this will incite him to worse behaviour, infuriate his parents and bring other neighbours to their side.

I would persist with the parents and try to build some sort of a relationship with him - I've lived in similar areas. If they like you they leave you alone.

Go to the police if all of that fails and you have evidence of him causing real damage, such as with the car tyres.

That would be my concern tbh.

So sorry you have having to deal with this upset op Flowers

Bramshott · 14/10/2021 17:34

If you're renting, and your kids are not yet in school then I really think I'd be making plans to try and move Sad

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/10/2021 17:35

Have you ever spoken to his parents before involving the police?

Grellbunt · 14/10/2021 17:37

@Bramshott

If you're renting, and your kids are not yet in school then I really think I'd be making plans to try and move Sad
This

They won't change

Sadly

MrMrsJones · 14/10/2021 17:38

Police everytime

LindaLooky · 14/10/2021 17:40

What a shame for you and your family.

From the neighbours comments it sounds like they are known troublemakers. I bet its happened to others.

As others have said, report to the police. I'd imagine they'll have to investigate in case there is a welfare issue. Bet the kid is jealous of your lovely family and your little ones safe life. Such a shame x

ilovebrie8 · 14/10/2021 17:43

This is terrible OP. I think the only good thing is you are renting and can move easier than if you had bought the place. I’d look to move it’s not worth it ...

CornishTiger · 14/10/2021 17:45

Yes Police.

Are any of you social housing tenants too?

shakehandswithdanger · 14/10/2021 17:47

The police should be involved, but honestly, I'd also worry that his parents (who are failing him utterly and most likely aren't good people) will know it was you who reported him and only escalate the behaviour.

I'd still report it, though, unless you're able to move elsewhere. You've already tried contacting his parents, and even if you manage to speak to them, I wouldn't expect them to take much action. After all, your nice neighbours mentioned these kids, so this type of thing has been going on for a while (though it seems that your family is having a harder time of it than anyone else has, so far). I'd be shocked if the parents suddenly grew a conscience and stepped up to the job of parenting their brat kid.

I hope things improve for you, one way or another!

ChilliWillies · 14/10/2021 17:50

Police and could I suggest a nice sprinkler in the front garden that happens to be on at key times…

Staffy1 · 14/10/2021 17:50

I would be wary of contacting the police unless you do it anonymously and just make a complaint about the child kicking balls at windows and harassing and shouting racial abuse and paedo at residents on the street. I know not everyone will agree, but we lived on the same road as people with brats like this and someone started calling the police, which they took to be us as we were the only ones that had directly confronted the parents and brats previously. It just made them escalate their rotten behaviour specifically targeting us. The police were there at least once a week at one stage but it only made them worse, encouraged by their awful parents as they know nothing much can be done about kids behaving like this. It made our lives hell and we moved because of them, along with 4 other neighbours trying to sell at the same time. If you have made a complaint to the police which isn’t anonymous it might make it difficult to move if that becomes your only option.

Staffy1 · 14/10/2021 17:52

Oh crap, I see you are renting, so selling is not an issue. That’s the second time I’ve got the wrong end of the stick today, I need a holiday.

ElizaDarcysDeeds · 14/10/2021 17:53

Who is letting down the car tyres? Are you seriously saying a 10-yr-old is letting down car tyres every weekend? That seems hugely unlikely Confused

DoesHePlayTheFiddle · 14/10/2021 17:54

CCTV and police. Record everything. When it happened to me, over twenty years ago, police advice was 'Get a man (I was a single parent), get a dog, get a gun.' I didn't. A loud dog might be handy, if you can cope with one.
Also, if you can, move.

B229 · 14/10/2021 17:57

We had this, terrorised by the two children of the neighbour opposite, probably not what you want to hear but we moved, they are highly unlikely to change even with police intervention.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 14/10/2021 17:58

Use the online 101 form to report this.

And I think I’d be looking to move as any fix could well just be temporary.

Blinkingbatshit · 14/10/2021 18:02

As many others have said already, contact the police. Are you renting too? I hope you are so you can move easily if this isn’t dealt with. I’m so sorry - it must be a truly horrid situation to live with💐

Freddiefox · 14/10/2021 18:05

I wouldn’t call the police, I’d move. Sorry but this won’t get better. The parents don’t seem to care. He will get older and it will escalate.

Either that or make friends. Calling the police won’t make it better.

Erinrose82 · 14/10/2021 18:05

Just wanted to send support as feel this is vile ...
hopefully moving is an option as it's a horrible situation.. but again that's expensive and why should you !
Actually I'd start with parents, then police, then social services. Then move if I could.. but I've been ill. This is highly disruptive and unfair.
Get the parents out the way, start my explaining you've also been ill and you really want to resolve this. X

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