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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours kids are targeting us to the point we don’t feel comfortable living here

111 replies

Rosie1990x · 14/10/2021 16:09

Hi everyone. I’m new here so wasn’t really sure where to post. If my thread shouldn’t be here please move it or ask me to remove it.

In august we moved to a new house in a quiet (so we thought) area. I had just been diagnosed with a benign brain tumour so we needed the peace and to move somewhere cheaper as my husband can only work part time now. We have two DS’s. 7 months and 19 months.

In the first month we met our neighbours attached to us who are lovely. They told us the kids on the street were sometimes an issue as they’re always allowed to roam freely and their parents aren’t really interested. They also mentioned the previous people who rented our house were ‘very well loved’ and ‘big characters of the street’ - we’re quite the opposite of this and prefer to keep ourselves to ourselves.

It’s now become apparent in the past month that the little boy who lives directly across from us is targeting our family and I’ve no idea what to do about it as he’s only around 10-11 years old. We have caught him numerous times throwing footballs up to our 1 year old sons window (which he has to come down our driveway to get to) in a bid to clearly wake him and cause distress. He KNOWS an infant is in that bedroom as we’ve heard him giggling about it with his friends. My husband has gone out before and asked what he’s playing at. He just runs off at the time but never stops.

Now he is becoming increasingly more abusive towards us. He shouts racial slurs at our house with his friends on the street (they’re all between 10-12 years old) and he has recently started following my poor, lovely husband calling him a paedophile. He literally screams at the top of his lungs that my husband is a Paedo!!
On another occasion he was loudly telling one of his friends outside our open bedroom window that his mum says we’re the street weirdos and none of them like us.

Last weekend we set a security camera up as someone keeps deflating my husbands car tyres. The camera points down onto our drive. Problem child saw this camera and got his friends together to chant that we were weirdos. When my husband is face to face with him (such as if he passes him in the street) the boy says nothing.

We’ve never bothered anyone on this street. We’re polite when spoken to but we don’t bother a single soul. We never would.

I don’t know how to approach this. The paedophile comments have really sent me as it is such a serious accusation. My husband is devastated.

Legally where do we stand with children committing this anti social behaviour? My husband has gone round to approach his parents but they’re literally never home. He’s about 10 and roams the streets alone pretty much all the time. He doesn’t appear to go to school.

Any input would be great.

Thanks.

OP posts:
Realitea · 14/10/2021 18:07

This is awful to read and I hope you're all OK. You must immediately start keeping a diary with dates and times. Get as much evidence as you can and present it to the police and say that you need help for harassment which you believe to be discrimination.
It doesn't matter about the child's age.
I know some will say things might get worse but it has to be done and it won't get worse. There are a range of things to protect you, from restraining orders to bail conditions.
Stand up for what is right!
Tell your landlord aswell. They need to know what's going on. I would stay put and stick up for yourselves. Moving house will only pass the problem on to someone else.

Rosie1990x · 14/10/2021 18:08

We are private renting tenants however I believe most of the road socially rent from a housing association.

No. I’m not saying the child let our tyres down so where did you get that from? We don’t know who is doing it, hence the security footage? Hmm

Thank you for all of your responses so far. Our worry with contacting the police is that it will indeed make them worse Sad

OP posts:
Mamamamasaurus · 14/10/2021 18:09

@Freddiefox

I wouldn’t call the police, I’d move. Sorry but this won’t get better. The parents don’t seem to care. He will get older and it will escalate.

Either that or make friends. Calling the police won’t make it better.

Seriously? OP please don't listen to this, it's terrible advice.

Call the Police and make sure that you mention that he's home alone and the parents don't seem to ever be in, they may already be known to SS or the Police may involve them

Grimbelina · 14/10/2021 18:11

I would contact the police and your landlord... and plan to move away (it's a good thing you are renting). Life is too short to put up with this, especially if you are ill. At least by contacting the police you have done something for the boy (even if indirectly) and for any new tenants who come after you. A horrible position to be in but you must put your family and your health first.

PaperhouseLegs · 14/10/2021 18:15

Privately renting? I'd be sorely tempted to look for somewhere else and tell the landlord/agency exactly why. This is on top of calling the police. I just couldn't be bothered to waste my life dealing with that shit, not in a rented home. Especially not having to fork out for home security. I'm absolutely not one to back down usually but if I had the option of moving away I would. I would highly doubt the kids will be moving anytime soon. Good luck OP, it's a shitty situation you shouldn't have to deal with Flowers

Freddiefox · 14/10/2021 18:15

@Mamamamasaurus

I think you’re really naive to be honest to recommend she calls the police. It will escalate issues for the op. The child clearly doesn’t care. The police won’t do anything and as soon as they leave they will up the ante. Safeguard your own children and move.

If you want to support the child contact the school anonymously with your concerns, or the nspcc.

Freddiefox · 14/10/2021 18:17

Are you able to move op?

ineedaholidayandwine · 14/10/2021 18:18

Police and keep as much video evidence as you can. Sorry your dealing with this OP

toocold54 · 14/10/2021 18:18

Our worry with contacting the police is that it will indeed make them worse

It seems to be escalating anyway so at least you’ll be doing something by contacting them and feel more in control.

Definitely keep the CCTV and keep a log of everything that happens. You may need to ring the police on a couple of occasions for it to make a difference.
Chances are if the parents are shit and the police are knocking on their door they’ll get more annoyed so at least they’ll tell the kid to stop doing it so they’re not having to deal with the police.

Lightswitch123 · 14/10/2021 18:20

@billy1966

Absolutely call the police.

You should NOT be putting up with this awful behaviour.

Keep recording their behaviour.

It sounds really dreadful.

Flowers

Agreed. Sorry OP
Somebodylikeyew · 14/10/2021 18:21

Police involvement will just make it worse.
If you’re only renting, I’d move ASAP. Your peace and health is more important.

Cherrysoup · 14/10/2021 18:23

Have you spoken to the kid’s parents?

Xmassprout · 14/10/2021 18:24

You say they have been using racial slurs, do you think it may be racially motivated?

MoonbeamSprinkles · 14/10/2021 18:25

I would move in a heartbeat.

We were terrorised by children in our house when I was a child and it was honestly hell.

They targeted us because my mother was a lesbian.

The police came round all the time, kids and parents couldn’t care less.

People saying to get the police involved as though that’ll sort it out obviously have never dealt with people like this.
They don’t care about the police.

We had fireworks put in our windows, windows smashed too many times to count, graffiti, a gang of kids would stand at our gate all day every day and they’d chant and push me over every time I left the house.

It was a rural housing estate where they’d basically just moved all the problem families and to say it was lawless is an understatement.
Heroin and gun crime was rife too.

You’d never have believed it unless you lived there as it looks picture perfect.

Cinderss · 14/10/2021 18:28

Are you the only non-white family on the road? I ask because something similar happened to my sisters family and they were targeted due to that. Eventually she initiated a street party and deliberately made an effort with the problem families, they were pretty much fine after that. Personal experience tells me you shouldn’t call the police, as people like that won’t take kindly to it. I would contact the school too and let them know he’s behaving like this (if he’s in uniform when he does it then they should take action too)!

TheAntiGardener · 14/10/2021 18:29

I would absolutely be planning to move if I were in your shoes. It’s not fair at all, but it is almost certainly going to be significantly more effective and efficient at resolving the situation than anything else. I had asb issues with neighbours that were nothing like as bad as this and were very effectively dealt with by the council, but even then it felt like an emotional rollercoaster. I remember well how any update from the council on our case either sent me into a spiral of helplessness or joyful relief. Don’t think I could do it again.

Staying and resolving this might be the fair thing to do, but I’d take the option that allows you to put this behind you ASAP, and for anyone renting that will be moving.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 14/10/2021 18:32

I would also call the police and social services.
I’m sorry you’re going through this

HemanOrSheRa · 14/10/2021 18:32

I'd bet folding money your local neighbourhood policing team know this boy/family. You should be able to have a chat with an officer or PCSO on the team.

DeadButDelicious · 14/10/2021 18:34

I'm sorry OP but I would move. In my experience issues like this don't get better and if you involve the police it will likely escalate. It's not right and it's not fair that you have to uproot yourself but it's the absolute quickest way to remove yourself from the situation.

CornishTiger · 14/10/2021 18:37

As a private tenant you can still contact the Housing association. I’d deal with them as a housing officer and so would the police.

oakleaffy · 14/10/2021 18:38

Thank Goodness you are renting,OP
The neighbours sound horrendous.
Why live in a place where you are subjected to a hate crime by feral kids?
I’d moveASAP.

ZealAndArdour · 14/10/2021 18:40

Social services for all these random uncared for children.

SnoopyLights · 14/10/2021 18:41

You should definitely call the police but you can also try your local council. Look on their website for measures they can take for antisocial behaviour.

Ours have a team that work with communities and residents experiencing issues, even if none of the people involved are council tenants.

DomPom47 · 14/10/2021 18:44

Could you speak to the neighbours you are friendly with and see what advice they give interns of the parents. They may have a phone number so you can drop them a call or text. Also, may be useful to find out (if you can) what school the child should be in and if you know this and they are not going to school I would call social services.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 14/10/2021 18:44

Police for this scummy family.

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