If you do the school run in your exercise gear..

[TiffanyBucksFizzRainbowBright]

So on my days off I go to an exercise class with a friend, as my job is sedentary I really look forward to it and do the school run on those days in my exercise gear to save time as straight after. When I am working hubbie does the school run. So 9/10 when I'm doing the school run, I'm dropping off in my exercise gear. This week a mum who I don't speak to very often (and is known to be catty) looked at me and said 'you do try, don't you?'. When I asked her what she meant she said 'by going to the gym every day'. I'm torn between thinking she got her words out wrong, to her her being downright catty. I've asked two friends and both had opposite replies one thought she was being a bitch, the other who sees the good in everyone thought she must have not meant it that way. What would you have said to her in reply? I'm conscious now of wearing my gym gear now silly as it sounds! I wasn't aware I was 'trying'!

Honestly. There must be fuck all going on in her life if she’s taken to noticing what other mums wear on the school run, take offence to it and comment on it. What a loser.

I’d have said ‘Try what?’ Sorry I’m deaf etc because I really am though.

Next time be very deadpan and earnest. Put her on the spot and get her to explain herself.

The comment says more about her than you.
I wouldn’t have got sucked in and just smiled back.

Ahhhhh you have lost weight, well that changes it, she said it because she can SEE you’ve lost weight as is jealous a little so made a rude remark….but it’s you whose winning so I would take it with a smile

@Aaaaabbbuuuukkkkjjjjkkkk

Honestly. There must be fuck all going on in her life if she’s taken to noticing what other mums wear on the school run, take offence to it and comment on it. What a loser.

Exactly this.

@coffeeisthebest

She might have to making a throwaway comment on the school run and it came out wrong. Any chance you could give this woman a break rather than taking it so personally? What you wear is, as in most situations in life, entirely up to you.

That's why I asked. See my OP I was genuinely unsure. Her comment made me feel uncomfortable. I was asking advice isn't that what we do here on Mumsnet? Ask opinions of a situation hence it being on this forum. I've not outed anyone. It made me feel crap, I wanted to see what the general consensus was. No harm done, I'll carry on slipping on the Lycra.

@Aaaaabbbuuuukkkkjjjjkkkk

Honestly. There must be fuck all going on in her life if she’s taken to noticing what other mums wear on the school run, take offence to it and comment on it. What a loser.

My thoughts too.

@SusieBob

"Any chance you could give this woman a break rather than taking it so personally? "

Don't be silly, that's not the mumsnet way. If there is any possibility any comment could be construed negatively obviously that's the intention behind it, and a 20 page thread of people calling a complete stanger a fucking will ensue.

Thanks for the reminder...

Op I can't understand this comment or how it can be construed either way.

@TiffanyBucksFizzRainbowBright

So on my days off I go to an exercise class with a friend, as my job is sedentary I really look forward to it and do the school run on those days in my exercise gear to save time as straight after. When I am working hubbie does the school run. So 9/10 when I'm doing the school run, I'm dropping off in my exercise gear. This week a mum who I don't speak to very often (and is known to be catty) looked at me and said 'you do try, don't you?'. When I asked her what she meant she said 'by going to the gym every day'. I'm torn between thinking she got her words out wrong, to her her being downright catty. I've asked two friends and both had opposite replies one thought she was being a bitch, the other who sees the good in everyone thought she must have not meant it that way. What would you have said to her in reply? I'm conscious now of wearing my gym gear now silly as it sounds! I wasn't aware I was 'trying'!

OP,

Practice the bemused challenge.

Not enough people stop and question these comments.

I presume, if you came out of your bedroom dressed in the same clothes and your DH said "you do try, don't you", you'd say at least "how do you mean?".

People get away with being bitches because no one ever challenges them on their sly comments.

"In what way?"
"Why do you say that?"
"What do you mean?"

And repeat to each of their responses, until they run out of insinuations / tie themselves up in knots.

Or - in the very limited scenario where they are being clumsy but genuine - they can clarify.

Winner winner.

Odd comment, I see lots of people wear gym gear at school drop off, many exercise straight after (I see them running when I'm picking up junk food in the shop ) many just seem to wear it for comfort as they're still wearing it at pick up. She was being catty as i can't imagine why else it would provoke a comment.

I think I'm missing something here, how is that catty? I'd see that as a positive comment, maybe the fact that you are clearly going to do some exercise, and do it regularly is something she would like to do, maybe she is impressed by your persistence at it?
Was it said with a smile or a snarl?

Loads of people including me run/sea swim/surf after drop off so I think its quite normal. I don't get her comment tbh maybe she got the wrong words which I could well do in school run panic!

I wear gym/running gear at drop off. I'd typically be going for a walk/run afterwards. Several of the other mums would be dressed in similar manner.

I don’t think she was being bitchy as I feel this is something I would say!

I often say “you always do your hair nice” or “you always have nice nails don’t you” etc. I am 100% not being bitchy but now I think it might sound like how this women spoke.

She is incredibly rude. I had a school mum who did this it was breathtaking. It was entirely insecurity on her part, she constantly compared herself. Sad.

At the DC school everyone rocked up in active wear, and then strolled round to the cafe went to their gym/stable/supermarket/wfh meeting. It was a running joke that we lunged at the gate.

Anyone that cares enough to comment on what someone wears at drop off has waaaay too much time on their hands.

I wear my exercise gear.
I do not go to the gym nor go for a run as much as I should. (Read: never)
Wearing my exercise gear is more comfortable to work from home in and makes me feel slightly better.
Yes she was being catty and it says far more about her than it does about you. Keep wearing it and trot out the favoured MN line: "Did you mean to be so rude?"

I normally find a "yes I am, and do you have a problem with that? (long glare)" very effective in these situations.

Also FWIW, I either have to work or look after two year old on the days I do school run, and I would love to go wearing my gym gear and have a run/gym session after. I'm very jealous if you all who get to do that.

Depending how it was said I don’t think it would bother me. I would have just thought she was trying to make conversation and was crap at it. I’d probably have responded something cliched like “Well, gotta be in it to win it!” Ot “Yep and hopefully one flday I’ll get there.” Or if I didn’t like her I’d probably have given her a puzzled stare followed by a dismissive laugh.

Mums all over the country wear exercise gesr to school run, no one cares, don’t letnone weird comment stress you out.

"And I succeed dear!" is the traditional response.

Oh, she's an absolute twat and doesn't need or deserve a response. The confused look reaction is fine! Shows you're not on her wavelength!

"Yes I do. It's the absolute best feeling in the world when my hard work is rewarded and I enjoy it so much as well - it's a no-brainer for me. How about you ...... ?"