If you do the school run in your exercise gear..

[TiffanyBucksFizzRainbowBright]

So on my days off I go to an exercise class with a friend, as my job is sedentary I really look forward to it and do the school run on those days in my exercise gear to save time as straight after. When I am working hubbie does the school run. So 9/10 when I'm doing the school run, I'm dropping off in my exercise gear. This week a mum who I don't speak to very often (and is known to be catty) looked at me and said 'you do try, don't you?'. When I asked her what she meant she said 'by going to the gym every day'. I'm torn between thinking she got her words out wrong, to her her being downright catty. I've asked two friends and both had opposite replies one thought she was being a bitch, the other who sees the good in everyone thought she must have not meant it that way. What would you have said to her in reply? I'm conscious now of wearing my gym gear now silly as it sounds! I wasn't aware I was 'trying'!

Look her dead in the eye and say “no. I succeed”

I used to do the school run often in running gear when I worked pt.
A mum once asked me if I ran most days. I did but I joked I just put gym gear on to look good but actually I was going home to watch This Morning.

@TiffanyBucksFizzRainbowBright

Thank you all. The replies you suggest are brilliant and I wish I could have come up with them! Exercise leggings it is! It was one of those where you think 'what?!' Rabbit in headlights! Maybe I'll add a few burpees or squats to the school run to show 'how hard I'm trying' 😉

I think it's in your favour if you just looked at her blankly. It's along the lines of 'Oh, were you being catty? Sorry, I didn't notice.' And if she wasn't being catty, you will have come across as 'Just worked out - can't think straight!'

Forget what she said. You could show up on a unicorn and wearing a bin liner, and her opinion wouldn't matter. Would it?

Or you could respond with a big smile: 'Oh, no my dear, I am not trying - I'm succeeding'

I think you responded well. Borderline what the fuck are you talking about but civil, unlike her intention.

@SheikhMaraca

It was a horribly catty thing to say.

Please feel free not to answer, but are you by any chance carrying an extra pound or two? If so, it’s even worse.

Nope I've actually lost it which makes it more bizarre! But I know what you mean

@Gonnagetgoing

No DC but my neighbour got a similar catty comment too when she used to drop her kids off in running gear.

She just replied "I like to go for a run in the morning after the drop off to clear my head from any negative thoughts".

Which I thought was quite clever!

Oooh love that good response!

@RosieLemonadeAndSugar

'Yes I do, you should try it, you might like it' would have worked well with a big fake smile

Love this

I think it sounds catty as well.

@BlowDryRat

"Yes, I do." Big smile, tinkly laugh.

It could have been either and TBH I get my words/delivery wrong enough myself to give other people the benefit of the doubt. Even if she was being catty, who cares?

Eyes up and down, slowly, 'Yes, maybe more should'.

@FrangipaniBlue

Depending what you look like OP I think it could be meant one of two ways, neither of which are friendly.

If you are overweight then I'd take it as a dig at our weight as in "ah bless, trying but not really working is it?".

However I suspect you're not and that in reality you look bloody fabulous in lycra, so her dig was aimed more that she thinks you're deliberately "showing off" about how fit you look by walking round in figure hugging Lycra.

I know it's hard to know isn't it. I wouldn't say I look fantastic but I'm not over weight, on fact I'm skinnier than I've been for the last couple of years.

The fact that you are seeing weight loss and feeling healthier means you should continue and ignore any comments - and take them as jealousy.

@itsgettingwierd

The fact that you are seeing weight loss and feeling healthier means you should continue and ignore any comments - and take them as jealousy.

Thank you x

How rude. I go in gym clothes sometimes, if someone said this to me, I'd just say 'yes I do, have you ever thought about trying?'

I decided a while back it's not necessary to take offence in these situations.
I can only think of two possibilities which are firstly that the person speaking meant no harm and it came out ambiguously/ totally wrong, the second is they really are a vindictive type in which case their good opinion is not worth seeking and it's sensible to pity them and theirs.

It’s so rude to comment on someone’s appearance, replace with “look at your dress” or “aren’t you fat”. No need to reply to this nonsense and certainly don’t let her see she has affected you. Best to make out you didn’t hear properly.

Oh and keep wearing what you want, life’s too short.

Think I would've burst out laughing and the sheer bitchery of her!

She might have to making a throwaway comment on the school run and it came out wrong. Any chance you could give this woman a break rather than taking it so personally? What you wear is, as in most situations in life, entirely up to you.

Yes I think she was being catty. Someone who was being nice would say “oh I really admire you etc etc” instead.

Definitely don’t be put off wearing it! Loads of people do it at our school.

"Any chance you could give this woman a break rather than taking it so personally? "

Don't be silly, that's not the mumsnet way. If there is any possibility any comment could be construed negatively obviously that's the intention behind it, and a 20 page thread of people calling a complete stanger a fucking will ensue.

She's a silly bitch. When people speak to me like that I'm generally so astonished that my jaw drops and I say nothing and walk off.
It's probably the best option really.
You carry on living your life, and take no notice

I wouldn’t assume she was being bitchy by that comment at all.

If I’d said something like that to you, I’d have meant I was impressed by your working out. I live near the Atlantic coast and several school mums go sea swimming after drop off - summer and winter. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Of course she was being catty. Plus side is, if she felt the need to do so, then she's either feeling jealous, or seeing you as some kind of threat. Maybe someone else said something admiring about you, and it's pissed her off.

I would have responded by asking her to explain, until she either outed herself as being bitchy, or she backed down.

You do try, don't you.
I'm sorry, what do you mean?
By going to the gym every day.
Oh yes, I do gym. But what am I trying?
Well you know
I'm sorry, you've lost me, you'll have to explain.

Any vague answers, ask for details.

OP, keep doing your thing, and keep wearing your gym gear. You obviously look good enough in it!

"Does being a bitch come naturally to you or do you have to work at it?" asked with a head tilt.

@FatBettyintheCoop

I wouldn’t assume she was being bitchy by that comment at all.

If I’d said something like that to you, I’d have meant I was impressed by your working out. I live near the Atlantic coast and several school mums go sea swimming after drop off - summer and winter. 🤷🏻‍♀️

But wouldn’t you have said ‘It’s cool you go sea swimming’, or ‘I admire your toughness about cold water’ or something? Rather than ‘You do try, don’t you?’