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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder that if you're so poor...

116 replies

Emprexia · 09/12/2007 10:54

... that you cant afford to buy your kids anything for xmas, wtf are you doing online?

last i heard, internet cost money, wether you have it at your house or pay to use the library/internet cafe.

Instead of coming Online and bitching about how skint you are... keep the pennies and try spending them on your kids instead!!!

OP posts:
camillathechicken · 09/12/2007 12:07

twas ever thus.

in victorian times, the poor were chastised for drinking , which was a way to escape the awful grind of daily life

good on kaishay for coming back to apologise and explain her seemingly confrontational stance

sparklygothkat · 09/12/2007 12:17

my broadband is free!! with my sky tv.

TwinklyfLightAttendant · 09/12/2007 12:38

Yes but we are real live people and we are offended!!!!

I always wonder if I should spend money on broadband or not, think about ditching it, then realise that there would be a whole load of things I could not access or sort out if I didn't have it (and dial up is more)
such as council stuff, bank, rent and so on, info on my children's health, school and lastly shopping for either food, or clothes, or Christmas things for the kids.

It would make no sense, a few years ago yes, (I only had a computer at all since about 2 years ago) but these days no. I believe it is pretty necessary to have internet access nowadays. It would not be cost effective.

Btw my broadband is basic, comes with a landline and free phone calls (all the time, not just eves etc.) and is £29 a month including line rental and everything else. I think that is pretty good though I am sure there are even cheaper options.
And I don't have any money, but would rather borrow it from the bank than ask other people to send my children presents.

I am lucky I have that option.

FairyTaleOfNewYork · 09/12/2007 12:41

i am in the process now, prompted by this thread of switching my broad band providing and phone company, which will save us a heck of a lot each month.

am trying to persude dh to ut down the sky package, but he wont

its not like we cant afford it, but would like to tighten things for a couple of months to clear some bills quicker.

and the story didnt make it into the sunday people either so not sure whats going on money wise.

TwinklyfLightAttendant · 09/12/2007 12:44

I did that about 6 months ago Misdee, it was costing about £50 with bb and then BT on top, who are a big rip off imo!

Plusnet is my new one. They provide everything

Sorry your story didn't get in

(can we do a festive sad face??)

TwinklyfLightAttendant · 09/12/2007 12:44

obv. not!

lazawreath · 09/12/2007 12:48

Twinkly, some people can't borrow money. I'm sure they don't feel so great about not being able to buy their children presents. There's no need to lay on an extra layer of guilt by implying there is something wrong with other people sending presents. I'm sure we would all do anything for our children, and that includes accepting help from other people.

FairyTaleOfNewYork · 09/12/2007 12:50

obviously we have the mumsnet secret santa on here which is great

TwinklyfLightAttendant · 09/12/2007 12:53

Oh God, sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone - that was really thoughtless. I said that I feel lucky that I am able to borrow from the bank, of course I understand that some people cannot.
And I was not tryng to imply that the Secret Santa thing was wrong or that other people sending children presents was anything to be ashamed of, I just said that I would rather not ask people to send my children presents, if I could help it.

I think there is a difference. And if I thought my children would not get anything unless I asked people to send them things, of course I would ask people to - if it was an option like the secret Santa.

really sorry if I offended anyone.

FrannyandZooey · 09/12/2007 12:53

I must admit I have been surprised at what people choose to spend their money on, and I expect other ,that know my family, are surprised at what we choose to spend our money on

as has been said already it is priorities

it isn't the kind of thing you can often ask someone about, so we usually draw our own conclusions which may be quite wrong

it is useful to actually be able to discuss it, although at first glance the OP seemed very mean spirited hence all the negative reactions

FrannyandZooey · 09/12/2007 12:57

We pay £13.99 for 2.5 gig internet (more than enough for browsing, you might go over if you download a lot of stuff), and 500 mins free phone calls a month. That's with Nildram.

TwinklyfLightAttendant · 09/12/2007 12:58

I really hope nobody actually thought I was trying to make people feel guilty, or more guilty than they already do - I would never want to do that. Honestly.

TwinklyfLightAttendant · 09/12/2007 12:59

F&Z, I was with Nildram but they never activated the free phone calls so I found out after I moved that I'd been paying full rate to BT for a year.
Nildram were rubbish about it. Do check it's actually happening, won't you x

FrannyandZooey · 09/12/2007 13:03

ooh yes thank you I will

lazawreath · 09/12/2007 13:18

Twinkly, I didn't want to upset you with that post. I misdunderstood you, I apologise. I was just trying to make the point that we can all support each other without judgment.

lazawreath · 09/12/2007 13:19

I'm confused though. is there a separate secret santa going on from the christmas appeal?

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 09/12/2007 13:23

To the OP, no you're not being unreasonable to question it, anymore than I would be to question why people I have known have said 'I can't afford much for xmas' and then gone and bought multipacks of cigarettes and alcohol to last them the xmas season (my parents!!)

However, unless it is affecting you, then wondering is all it should be, and TBF the internet for most people is a HUGE part of their life, that they pay for in installments.

I bet if the same people were told they have to pay their internet fee every year two weeks before xmas they would say 'sod the net' and get their kids presents.

Some people rely on things like ebay and freecycle to be able to give their children better than what they could otherwise afford.

whispywhisp · 09/12/2007 13:48

Nothing in life is free! Why does it matter how much people pay to have the use of an internet connection? Blimey, there's more to life than worrying about spending a few quid to keep in touch with friends, gaining help and support from people on this site and having someone there when you need them.

Bouncingturtle · 09/12/2007 14:04

I think that the resources that the internet offers can really outweigh the costs.
I see where the OP is coming from, but I certainly don't begrudge people getting internet at the expense of other things because it is so bloody useful! You can bargain shop on it, find out useful info about your entitlements, join a support network, be entertained by it the list goes on!!! It can potentially save money as well as opening a window to the world. Perhaps these people who do spend money on the internet instead of kids' presents do so because the internet offers a entertainment and learning resource unparalled by a few toys that the kids may grow bored of in a few months?

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 09/12/2007 14:13

FWIW, My kids have just sat with me on the xmas sites (noradsanta/emailsanta/northpole.com) and have got really into xmas, I'd say that was well worth the price I pay for it. They'll also be checking where santa is on xmas eve and reading their letters back from him etc.
That will make their xmas more special than some overpriced tat.

whispywhisp · 09/12/2007 14:19

I find it hard to believe that there are people out there who simply cannot afford to buy atleast one present for their kids and yet surf the internet. I think the OP was a bit over the top/extreme. Perhaps kaishay can give some examples?

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 09/12/2007 14:21

I agree whispy, I would expect the people/person she is talking about are able to buy something for xmas, just not to afford the xmas they may have wished for.

TenLordsaLapin · 09/12/2007 14:28

lazawreath - that's probably my fault, I've been calling it "Secret Santa" because "Christmas Appeal" has charitable overtones that I wanted to avoid

piximon · 09/12/2007 14:28

We have broadband as DH's company pays for it (he has to work from home when there's a problem out of hours and weekends). In the new year I'll be moving and have no internet access for a few months as it'll be too low down my list of financial priorities. Hopefully will find a library to be able to use to keep in touch with everyone though.

Judy1234 · 09/12/2007 14:28

It's fascinating what some people will spend money on and others won't.
The internet is regarded as so key for children these days that I think one area in the NE was giving those families on very low incomes a free computer and BB connection for a year which all the family could use, not just the children for school work.

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