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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Charity - what is your feeling?

199 replies

Orangejuicemarathoner · 13/10/2021 15:01

I have been active in many charities for a long time.

There was a time when you could go around asking for contributions and get a "yes" or a "no".

These days I keep getting "OMG- how racist/patronising/politically incorrect/non-woke is that, you are a terrible person".

I don't get it really. Poorer people need help and support from richer people. Sometimes the poorer people are next door, sometimes hundreds of miles away and sometimes on another continent. Sometimes in the past, the poorer person has been me and I have needed and accepted charity

Why have people stopped thinking sharing is a good thing?

I know some charities are ineffective, and some unhelpful, maybe even damaging. I am not talking about specifics. I am talking about the general principle, if you know the charity is effective.

YABU - charitable giving is evil - stop it at once

YANBU - altruism is important

OP posts:
Coffeey · 13/10/2021 15:03

What charities are you getting that sort of response for?

Shoxfordian · 13/10/2021 15:03

Who are you asking for contributions? There’s nothing wrong with donating to charity

Cuddlyrottweiler · 13/10/2021 15:05

Completely depends what charity. Some charities are actually not very nice.

AnneLovesGilbert · 13/10/2021 15:06

Are you a chugger?

Soubriquet · 13/10/2021 15:06

What charities are getting this reaction?

Throw a nan? Yeah I would get it but something like RSPCA no

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 13/10/2021 15:07

Your options are really odd.

Some charities are great, others are racist, homophobic or generally things people wouldn't support for a host of reasons.

I support what I belive in and really resent being stopped, or hounded at my door, by chuggers who get paid quite a bit, emotionally blackmailing me into supporting a charity they don't support themselves.

Quickchangeartiste · 13/10/2021 15:07

Sadly charities are still very necessary in this country and the world at large . Personally I am more circumspect as to which charities I will give my £ to, and if they piss me off, we are done. But I don’t know anyone who is against charities as a thing

negomi90 · 13/10/2021 15:07

I don't like people asking me in the street to donate. If I'm going to give to charity, I'm going to do my research and make sure that I give my resources to somewhere which shares my values.
I do give to charity. My local supermarket has a food bank collection point and every time I go in, I buy something for it and donate.
There's nothing wrong with charity, they are brilliant. But some have serious issues and wanting to donate to things with values to your own is normal.
I didn't vote, because I think you're both reasonable and unreasonable at the same time.

romdowa · 13/10/2021 15:08

Here in Ireland we had a huge scandal a few years ago where the bosses of charities were dipping their fingers in the pie and fleecing the charities. It put a lot of people, including me , off donating to charities. I also know of several charities that are difficult to actually get help from , which to me defeats the purpose.

CorrBlimeyGG · 13/10/2021 15:08

I've not experienced those reactions towards fundraising.

Pythonista · 13/10/2021 15:08

Because many charities (particularly the large ones) are corrupt and pay their people money that could be spent on the cause. Also I know of treasurers who have robbed thousands of pounds.

Have been ripped off by a charity personally as well.

So no, I won't give to charity.

LaurieFairyCake · 13/10/2021 15:09

Maybe it's this 🤷‍♀️

Charity - what is your feeling?
Fairyliz · 13/10/2021 15:10

What charity are you talking about? I volunteer for a local hospice and sometimes get a polite no, but I’ve never had a reaction like this.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/10/2021 15:10

huh- im confused, plenty of people still give to charity.

Pythonista · 13/10/2021 15:10

And altruism is generally a very selfish thing - people like to be Lord or Lady Bountiful so that they can virtue signal.

Original poster
Orangejuicemarathoner · 13/10/2021 15:11

The charity I was trying to raise money for is an educational charity in Malawi, where I have worked before, and know well. It's very good.

Apparently I would not be so patronising to people in Brighton, and I don't understand that argument at all, as I am as active- more active actually for local charities where I volunteer as well as donate

OP posts:
Justcallmebebes · 13/10/2021 15:11

So much scandal surrounding charities recently including financial and sexual exploitation and I think people are also waking up to the fact that a lot of the major charities rely on volunteers to do a lot of the actual hard work whilst those at the top are on obscene salaries.

If you can afford to pay your directors £100,000 a year, you're not having a contribution towards that from me. I'm looking at you Amnesty

Original poster
Orangejuicemarathoner · 13/10/2021 15:11

@Pythonista

And altruism is generally a very selfish thing - people like to be Lord or Lady Bountiful so that they can virtue signal.
so what if altruism is selfish? its still altruism
OP posts:
gwenneh · 13/10/2021 15:12

Charitable giving is fine. However, I will research, choose, and donate to the charity of my choice -- if someone feels compelled to ask me for a donation, it's not going to happen.

Biancadelrioisback · 13/10/2021 15:13

I do give to charities and try to actively raise money for what I consider a good cause. However I hate being stopped in the street by charity workers/volunteers. It happens nearly every day on my lunch break, and it's when they spot you coming, try and make eye contact and virtually chase you while 'shouting' pleasantries
"Hello young lady, how are you doing on this glorious day?" "My goodness you're in a rush! Can you take a moment to talk to me? It'll make you feel better" "Smile, it might never happen...to you, can I talk to you about the less fortunate?"

At first I'll smile and say no than you, and walk away. but when they start chasing after I definitely get ruder. I'm happy to be approached but I'd like my answer to be respected.

Rememberallball · 13/10/2021 15:13

A lot of people started getting ‘giving fatigue’ when they saw more of their donations going towards huge salaries for CEO’s and, depending on the charity, not necessarily supporting the work directly but going on ever increasing bills for advertising and consultancy fees. That’s before you start to consider how ethically they support the communities that could benefit from their support.

Pumpkinseedpesto · 13/10/2021 15:13

Altruism is important and many charities do a good job but my first question is usually how much does the CEO get paid. It’s often astronomical.

Original poster
Orangejuicemarathoner · 13/10/2021 15:13

@AnneLovesGilbert

Are you a chugger?
no, absolutely not - this response was from my sports team captain when I asked to put a notice up. But it is not the first time I have had this response recently
OP posts:
BringPizza · 13/10/2021 15:14

I actively support a few charities and I think how the vulnerable are treated is a very clear measure of how decent a society really is. However, don’t grab me in the street or bang on my door.

Coffeeanddarkchoc · 13/10/2021 15:15

@romdowa

Here in Ireland we had a huge scandal a few years ago where the bosses of charities were dipping their fingers in the pie and fleecing the charities. It put a lot of people, including me , off donating to charities. I also know of several charities that are difficult to actually get help from , which to me defeats the purpose.
I'm in Ireland also and I now mainly just donate to very local charities, clubs and schools.