Can you die from no sleep?

[Ineedsleephelp]

I have a 3 week old and a 3 year old. Last night the 3 week old did a long stretch of sleep during which I was kept up by a poorly 3y old. This seems to have triggered massive anxiety around sleep and since then I have not been able to sleep. I lay awake all night. Its happening tonight again. They are both peacefully asleep now and I just can't sleep. I'm hot, sweaty and dizzy, starting to feel ill from lack of sleep after 3 weeks of limited sleep already. I'm so scared, if I become unwell what will happen to my DC? I feel like I won't survive unless I sleep soon but I just can't. I know I only have a couple of hours till baby needs a feed but I just can't freaking sleep. It's a horrible feeling and I'm freaking out.

Sominex and nytol are a complete waste of time for me. If I reach the stage of needing medication, only a prescription sleeping tablet will work. I use them occasionally to help break the insomnia cycle linked to Intercystial cystitis. I hate them though as it’s not real sleep - you can really tell the difference. But they do help after, say, 3-4 night’s awake, because I need sleep to be able to work.

This has happened to me OP. It's a vicious circle as I was anxious about the lack of sleep and then couldn't sleep due to the anxiety.

Here's what I did. Go to the GP to get Phenergan (available over the counter as Sominex but GP gave me a higher dose). You take this for 7 days to get you back into a routine.

From there clean up your sleep hygiene. I'm sure you know the drill . Set yourself a bedtime. No screens 45 mins before. Read a book or do something relaxing before sleep. And listen to a podcast / meditation from Calm or Headspace to help you drift off.

Finally I find counting down from 1000 helps clear my mind and stop me focussing on anxious thoughts.

Please please if you're breastfeeding check with a pharmacist before going down the meds route.

I also got a babysitter the day after I couldn't sleep so I could rest in the day. Cleared my diary as it makes me more anxious to know I have to get up early for something or have somewhere I had to be.

I totally get this. I had it with my first child it’s awful. Are you worrying about anything in particular?

My suggestion is put a movie or something on from a time of your life when you felt happy/comfortable and go to sleep watching it, that’s what I did. I watched only fools and horses for 4 months but it reminded me of when I was care free

This was me 4 months ago with my 2nd baby, my toddler who usually slept really well start having night wakenings & would then be up for the day ( with no nap) at 5am, sometimes before. This really set me on edge as well, I started getting huge anxiety around sleep and would stay awaken all night wondering how the hell I managed to sleep before, like I'd forgotten some formula.

It will get better, you cannot die from lack of sleep ( please, people stop saying this!) I've gotten so much better, I can still have the odd night. But things that helped me.

I took an online insomnia CBT course, this made me realize I wasn't going crazy, it really made me understand sleep & how easily it can be to fall into the anxiety trap around it. Some of the pointers were:
Don't nap, I know this will be hard but something to do with building up your sleep deficit & only using your bed for nighttime sleep. Trying to nap during the day & then not being able to feeds that anxiety round sleep & your negative association with your bed.

Don't obsess over sleep hygiene, I did have a ritual were I wouldn't go on my phone before, drink sleep herbal tea before bed etc. Other than cutting out caffeine it states the obsession over it can fuel your anxiety around bedtime. I also couldn't take any over the counter sleep aid because I was breastfeeding.

My husband took over the night time care of our toddler, so I only had to worry about the baby. She initially wasn't happy, only wanted Mammy, but she got used to it & now only shouts for Dad.

I also downloaded a positive mind app ( I am) reading affirmations throughout the day. I was never one to believe in that stuff, but I figured if I could get myself into this hole with negative thoughts, I could try slowly feeding myself positive thoughts.

It was a really dark time for me, I honestly thought things weren't going to get better, but they didn't, slowly. It sounds strange but I came to an acceptance about it, like said to myself if I don't sleep, I don't sleep. I've not some other nights and I've got up & looked after two kids & haven't died. Lol Positive thoughts about a negative, it helpt my mind be more at peace, and I slept.

I am sorry, this sounds miserable for you. The more anxious you are, the less likely you will be able to sleep. But of course, it is the normal response when we are over tired. First, it is pretty much impossible to die like this, no matter what someone dredged up on wikipedia. Second, you will be getting some light sleep but not realizing you have been asleep (people dont generally perceive stage 1 and 2 sleep as having been asleep, even when wired up to machines which show they have been asleep). These micro bursts of sleep will help you a bit. As someone else here pointed out, nature is prepared for new mothers to get little sleep so will be able to cope with it.

A lot of PP have suggested that listening to things is really helpful - gives you something to focus on instead of your stressful and frightening thoughts. I like sleep stories myself, there are tons on Youtube, and it is like having a bedtime story read to you.

The other thing which is quite effective is to stop trying to sleep and concentrate on rest instead. You will still be getting many of the benefits you would get from sleep, so just lying there and letting yourself rest is a good choice. While you are doing it, let yourself have a daydream - what would you do if you won the lottery, how would you decorate your private yacht, etc etc - something fun and engaging . You will feel better for spending some attention on something fun for you. I hope you feel better soon.

It's very well documented that the Nazis did experiments depriving people of sleep. They would douse them with ice water , beat them etc if they fell asleep. Most subjects died after 3 weeks. So technically yes, but not if you're snatching some sleep however brief , here & there. I find it really hard to switch off & go to sleep but listening to rain sounds or streams on YT helps massively.

Im 46 and peri menopausal, I really struggle to sleep sometimes. I might get 4 or 5 hours if I'm lucky but don't feel ill. I think your body will catch up eventually OP.

Phenergan works for me. Two tablets will do the trick. It's an anti-histamine and can be bought OTC in the UK.

Thank you so much all. I posted this the night before last then had a horrible day trying to nap and being unsuccessful. I was in tears most of the day and ready to collapse by 5pm.

BUT I slept last night!! I implemented a lot of the advice on here and fell asleep at 9pm and slept till 6 30 except for the two feeding wake ups at 1 and 4am. I feel like a new woman.

The initial falling asleep was pretty difficult but then once I'd slept I couldn't stop, had no issues settling again after feeding. My toddler even woke twice but having left DH in charge of that I didn't get anxious and went straight back to sleep.

I hope it will last but if not at least I'll know that no matter how desperate it seems a better night might be round the corner.

I spoke to the GP yesterday who also referred me for CBT which I'm excited about as a long term way to tackle this and deal with these anxiety flare ups I seem to get.

She said she can't recommend any OTC remedy for sleep unfortunately as there isn't enough evidence when breastfeeding.

She could only prescribe sertraline for anxiety but I don't think I'm there yet. Good to know that's a possible solution if I get very bad though. Fingers crossed things keep looking up!

@alicesweewonders wow I can't believe how similar to me this is, including the toddler who suddenly starts waking and is up for the day at 5am.

Good to see someone in the same position ( including breastfeeding which complicates things a bit) made it through it.

All the advice is great, including not obsessing over sleep hygiene. Definitely overdid it last night with trying to fit in a bath, some yoga, a relaxing infusion etc which got more stressful than anything!

Good tip about not napping, I went to bed yesterday morning to nap and when i couldn't it set me back massively mentally. Also found myself being quite relaxed in the evening until I got to bed as there were so many negative associations with it.

Do you mind me asking how old your DC are now? How long did it take roughly for things to improve with CBT? Also what's the name of the positive mind app?

Really appreciate you sharing your experience thank you!!

I think once you've had one good night you break through the anxiety barrier. I hope tonight is restful too.

No, you can't die from lack of sleep. You will fall asleep first. It sounds horrible but it will pass. Your body will get you through. When my husband had cancer I had to wake on the hour every hour through the night to check his feeding tube and then go into work in a very stressful job five days a week so we could pay our bills. That went on for five months. I felt like I was getting zero sleep and I am still very much alive. Adrenalin will get you through. I hope your situation improves soon.

I went five days without sleep or food, its painful and horrid. Mine was anxiety but I got so exhausted I did sleep. Can you get someone to stay over and help. Pump some milk and sleep, you may be able to if someone is there

I had exactly this, it was horrible.

Eventually I had to speak to my GP, and I’ve got some medication that helps with my anxiety and my sleep

I feel your pain. I have a 5yo, 4yo and 13mo

Iv had 10 hours sleep in the last 4 days, how I'm still standing I don't know???? Youngest has been ill and waking the house up as I cannot do enough. I'm considering running away 🤔

I googled this when my kids were babies. Sleep deprivation is torture but you will survive. Do what you can to get through it

Yes but not directly from no sleep but say stress on heart. But one nights of no sleep can bring on symptoms of mental illness. Such as stress, maybe seeing things differently etc

This happened to me when my two were babies - it's almost like my body wouldn't relax enough to fall asleep because I was listening out for one of them to wake up and wake me up. So frustrating when you are absolutely knackered! It did pass though, be kind to yourself and rest when you can

Stress is the most common thing to affect sleep. You’re not going to die from lack of sleep but it will make you feel unwell.
Very difficult when you have a baby and a toddler and it only takes a bad cold/ virus/ tummy bug to upset a child’s sleep.
Things you can do:
Make sure you have tried everything to induce sleep in the kids. Their rooms are the right temperature, doors and windows open/closed, decongestant drops on pillows, lights on/off —- whichever/ whatever gets them sleeping.
Practice what’s called “ sleep hygiene” —- establish a bedtime routine for yourself, no screens for at least an hour before you go to bed, at the same time each night if possible. Use the BBC Sounds app, and put on All Night Unwind. You can put a timer on it for 30 minutes.
To get to sleep close your eyes then in your head ( with All night unwind playing) imagine a walk you know well but have no particular attachment to ( I use a house I stayed in for a few months ) I walk up to it, in the door, around the living room….. and I’m asleep. Never got as far as the bedrooms 😀.
( I have a health condition that affects sleep so after 14 years I know how awful sleep deprivation is and how to avoid it)
This will get better, take a bit of control and then you’ll feel stronger. Good luck.

If you could I'd be dead a long time ago 😩
Autistic child and another that never sleeps either so I always function on empty

Alexa sleep sounds work for me.

@Ineedsleephelp
I was like this when DS was born
So overwhelmed and overtired - we’d moved to a strange city a couple of weeks prior and I had zero support.
I couldn’t sleep.
Health visitor got the Dr to prescribe a mild sleeping pill and they said to put DS somewhere safe and sleep
I did.
It broke that awful sleep deprivation, but I only took one tablet and disposed of the rest.
Might be an idea , even if BF?

@Ineedsleephelp

Thank you that's reassuring. I'm gutted as I'd mentally been in such a good place since DD was born, I could fall back asleep within seconds after settling her. It just took one bad night and now my mind is my own worst enemy and it scares me.

I fell asleep earlier listening to hypnosis but the baby woke 30 mins later and as I was drifting back off my 3 y old cried for me so it was a repeat of last night and now my anxiety is through the roof.

There is DH but he can't feed the baby and my 3y old told him to go away when he went to settle him and he only wanted me.

The pressure is immense.

I presume you are breast feeding, the 3 year old is suffering from what’s known as sibling jealousy. He sees you spending time with the baby that was once all his time. If possible could you express and get DH to feed 1 bottle a day? If so spend that time with the 3yr old. He’s turning dad away because he wants your undivided attention.