Can you die from no sleep?

[Ineedsleephelp]

I have a 3 week old and a 3 year old. Last night the 3 week old did a long stretch of sleep during which I was kept up by a poorly 3y old. This seems to have triggered massive anxiety around sleep and since then I have not been able to sleep. I lay awake all night. Its happening tonight again. They are both peacefully asleep now and I just can't sleep. I'm hot, sweaty and dizzy, starting to feel ill from lack of sleep after 3 weeks of limited sleep already. I'm so scared, if I become unwell what will happen to my DC? I feel like I won't survive unless I sleep soon but I just can't. I know I only have a couple of hours till baby needs a feed but I just can't freaking sleep. It's a horrible feeling and I'm freaking out.

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One of the questions I've been asked both times at my post natal check was if I had trouble sleeping. I assume it can be linked to post natal anxiety. Speak to your health visitor ASAP to nip it in the bud as soon as you can.
It will get better

I’m a life long insomniac and going through a bad phase atm. I find listening to white noise helps. Spotify have hours long white noise playlists.
I feel your pain OP. (You won’t die !)

[quote douliket]@Ineedsleephelp
It is impossible to die from lack of sleep,please disregard the previous poster. I am an advanced nurse practitioner and I can tell you that in my thirty years im various professional positions,some of which included studies on sleep apnea,I have never come across anyone who dies from lack of sleep.
This is a normal anxiety that arises from postnatal sleep deprivation. Do not worry op,just closing your eyes is enough,your body is resting,your bodily functions have all slowed down and this is enough.
Mother Nature is designed so that new mothers will cope with very little sleep to ensure their newborn thrives, and believe me,.your body will make you sleep,even if it's for 20 minutes here and there during baby and toddler nap time..it's normal to feel this way when over exhausted.[/quote]
It is possible to die of lack of sleep. Obviously you, in your line of work, haven't come across anyone who has - that's because to die of sleep, you would have to be say a prisoner of war or in some kind of torture camp and being physically kept awake. However your average person who is having trouble sleeping (like the kind you come across and like 99.9% of folk including the OP) wouldn't die of sleep as their bodies would eventually shut down into a sleep state. But there are certain, extremely rare circumstances whereby yes, this could happen. And I think everyone who has said that you can die of lack of sleep on this post has actually acknowledged that.

@Constellationstation

It doesn’t at all surprise me that a nurse is saying that something is impossible when it absolutely is possible. Who cares about accuracy when giving out medical advice 🤷🏻‍♀️ Definitely speak to your GP and not a midwife, but tell them everything about your anxiety etc as well as your breastfeeding concerns. Don’t be worried about taking medication if they recommend it

What do you mean? I could be picking you up wrong but it sounds as though you are being derogatory towards nurses?

Hello, I never post on here normally but I just wanted to reassure you, I have been exactly where you are, twice, with both our babies.

The post by Douliket is so true, she sounds great, her advice is really sound. Advice for 'normal' insommnia isn't always that relevant - I've had that too, had CBT for it and therapy, and a lot of the advice isn't relevant really here because you can't try the usual things, because you are caring for a baby. The cause is also different because in this case your brain is quite literally programmed by pregnancy and birth to be super alert, to listen out for threats to your baby. I believe it is perfectly normal albeit horrifically unpleasant.

I thought I wouldn't have this crippling sleep related anxiety with my second, now aged 11 weeks, but I did, but because of receiving some helpful advice like that from Doulkilet and also from having been there once already and survived, I knew it was only a phase. Even now almost 3 months in I get it some nights, maybe once a week, even though my baby and toddler are good sleepers, I lie awake on the edge of panic, sometimes all night. It is utterly grim. BUT I know it won't last, even though it feels like it, and I know I will be fine, even though it doesn't feel like it. And you will be fine too. I think 3 weeks was the worst stage for me, with an almost 3 year old toddler too.

When I've had a terrible night, if I get a chance the following day I lie down to rest in the bedroom with the curtains drawn for 20 minutes if I can, whatever time it is, I don't even try to sleep. And even just 20 minutes lying down really helps.

I also use white noise. I have a little white noise machine because I hate knowing what time it is at night. I keep it low so I can still hear baby and toddler but I listen to it and somehow it helps. And my DH goes to the toddler if need be, even it means he screams and takes longer to settle, most of the time it is fine if I don't go.

Good luck.

I feel your pain OP, I've been an insomniac for a few years and have worried that I might die from lack of sleep.

Some things that have helped me:

Audiobooks

Sudoku-really hard sudoku to make my brain tired

Speaking to my GP- he gave me something to help on the really bad days around my period.

[quote douliket]@Ineedsleephelp
It is impossible to die from lack of sleep,please disregard the previous poster. I am an advanced nurse practitioner and I can tell you that in my thirty years im various professional positions,some of which included studies on sleep apnea,I have never come across anyone who dies from lack of sleep.
This is a normal anxiety that arises from postnatal sleep deprivation. Do not worry op,just closing your eyes is enough,your body is resting,your bodily functions have all slowed down and this is enough.
Mother Nature is designed so that new mothers will cope with very little sleep to ensure their newborn thrives, and believe me,.your body will make you sleep,even if it's for 20 minutes here and there during baby and toddler nap time..it's normal to feel this way when over exhausted.[/quote]
You have never heard of Fatal Familial Insomnia, then. These people do die from a lack of sleep - it is a horrible condition.

Yes it is but only if you have the very very rare disease Fatal Familial Insomnia.
Other than that, no. It just feels like it!

@AlfonsoTheDinosaur is that helpful for the OP?

OP, I read about this, it's vanishingly rare. It's not worth worrying about it because you don't have it. Take comfort in the fact that loads of us on this thread suffer with insomnia and do eventually manage to sleep.

You won’t die, your body shuts you down and makes you sleep when you get beyond a certain point.

Erugh this brings back horrible memories! My youngest woke at least every hour until she was about 10 months old, I thought I would die! I also had this issue where when she was sleeping I couldn’t sleep as I was waiting for her to wake up / couldn’t get settled.

Sorry you’re going through this it makes you feel bad and I think lack of sleep raises anxiety which also stops you sleeping.

What I did was asked my husband to be responsible for both baby and toddler from 6pm - 11pm (toddler usually wouldn’t wake unless ill). I would breastfeed baby at 6pm, then I would have a bath / chill out and mentally wind down for sleep till 8pm..then I would express a bottle which husband would give to baby around 8:30pm. I would then sleep from 8-11 so I had a guaranteed 3 hour stint before my night shift started. This will be even easier if you’re formula feeding as you won’t need to express so could just go straight to sleep after a bath / reading.

Husband would also sometimes take baby for an hour or so in the morning so I could grab sleep then.

Other things I tried was the old fashioned counting backwards thing and sleep hypnosis apps to let me switch off.

That was in response to @douliket's claim that It is impossible to die from lack of sleep. I provided a link and made sure that it was labelled a condition.

Lack of sleep can also cause a heightened anxiety which in turn makes it more difficult to sleep, it's a very vicious circle.
Just lying down with your eyes closed in quiet moments can help you relax you don't even have to actually be asleep but your resting.
I don't think your going to die from lack of sleep but I do think you need to talk to your DH and let him know how your feeling and so that if you do feel like you need a little nap he can pick up where you left off.

Thank you so much. Thought I was OK this morning but made the mistake of going to bed with the baby for her morning nap and when I couldn't sleep I freaked out and ended up in tears again. I contacted the health visitor who got me to answer some questions and I scored low for PND and moderately high for anxiety. She asked me to make an appointment with the GP and will arrange an additional home visit.

@fifeywifey thank you so much I'm sorry you are going through the same but so good to know I'm not alone. Have you done anything to fix it or just wait for it to pass by giving it less headspace? I'm sure the GP will push for medication but I really want to.avoid it. I'm not really anxious about anything beside not sleeping. God it's so hard.

About the csection for PP who asked, a few complications but nothing major, I do go for walks but can't drive and live rurally so hoping to meet other mums, go to groups etc and generally have a bit of life back once I can drive.

God, I went through this when I had a 3yo and a newborn. It was particularly hard when as soon as I'd settled the baby the 3yo would wake up and then by the time she was asleep again the baby would need the next feed. It did pass eventually.

Do you have any nursery/pre school care? I found it easier to nod off on the sofa in front of the tv in the day, when the baby was safe in a bouncer or Moses basket

Also: lavender oil on your pillow. White noise for the baby also helped me. Bach'a rescue remedy

Im sure the gp will push for medication

You may be surprised. In my case I found even sleeping tablets didnt work and they quickly changed me to cbt (I did an internet course so didnt have to wait) and a programme of sleep hygiene/restriction with assurances that if I followed the instructions it would work (it did). I was lucky in that the gp's wife had had terrible problems with insomnia so he took it very seriously and had a lot of knowledge about the different approaches (so sleep restriction works well with anxiety based insomnia fi).

I really empathise, as I’ve had chronic insomnia in the past; at the worst point, I would go several nights in a row without sleep. I’ve never been afraid it would kill me, but I can definitely understand why that could happen, as I used to be afraid that I was losing my mind.

I used to find that watching a film I liked would help relax me and I’d at least doze off watching it. Reading a book, too. Now going onto Mumsnet helps on those occasions when I don’t sleep. (It still happens though much less often thankfully.)

Anything is better than tossing and turning in utter misery.

[quote douliket]@HallowedKitchen thank you,that's very kind of you to say.
@Summerdayshaze is this really the time or place to be sharing that link of some ridiculous nonsense. In no way is this helpful to the Op[/quote]
It’s not ridiculous nonsense. It’s a factual response to your false assertion. A number of us have pointed it out.

Nobody is suggesting that the OP has FFI, or should even think about it. But you got something wrong and you rightly got called out.

I had a baby with an undiagnosed allergy. DD slept for 30min stretches, with 2hr screaming sessions in between 90% of the time.

On nights where she did sleep a bit better, I still couldn't sleep. I was constantly on edge that she was going to wake up any minute now and start screaming again. Even once her allergy was diagnosed and her sleep improved, I still couldn't sleep.

It's torture. Could someone look after the your DCs for 1 night, either elsewhere or at your house and you go sleep in a hotel room? I slept better when DD wasn't there, I think because I wasn't subconsciously listening out to her. It's really tough, OP.

I was v v v sleep deprived for years as one of my dc would wake constantly screaming throughout the night until the age of 4....
I had two other dcs, who while didn't sleep anywhere as badly still woke a lot as babies and toddlers.. So it was years,.eventually my body jusy couldn't sleep, even when my dcs finally all slept through I woke constantly and would take me hours to go/get back to sleep. My dh was amazing and we helped each other out as no family support but it was so difficult. Tbh my youngest is 4 and ive just started to sleep properly again. I still feel tired..
If it's only happened for a few nights you will be fine and I went through years of regularly getting 3/4 hours a night.. Im 37 and look younger now than I did 6 years ago. Ironically im someone who needs loads of sleep....but i didnt die from it! It definitly is bad for the health but so many parents can't control this so what can ya do.

Read ‘why we sleep’ by Matthew Walker. The only people who die from no sleep are people with brain disorders where the plaques in their brain that cause us to sleep are being eaten up through a disease.

Listen to this sleep story - the nordland night train. I have chronic insomnia and it always helps me drift off. m.youtube.com/watch?v=JcrcXtjRTTE&t=1134s

Post natal insomnia is a thing. Trust me.
Short term : DH takes every other night/anyone safe who will look after baby. bottle feed and you take a sleeping pill. That will reset you
Medium term: CBT. I got some through Nuffield but appreciate not everyone can access that. It didn’t take many sessions

Everything unravels - especially mental health - when you don’t sleep. You need to prioritise yourself

Wishing you all the best