Child maintenance/ childcare

[Sofiegiraffe]

Why is the cost of childcare not included in a CM calculation? Surely it should be taken into account and half of it taken from the NRP's wage? Why is it that I would be entitled to the same amount from my DD's dad in maintenance whether I was a SAHM with no childcare costs, or if I went to work FT and paid £600 a month for nursery? Surely that's a bit unfair 🤔

Ideally each parent would pay half the actual cost of raising a child but good luck getting that to happen!

^^
Yep!

Because the CMS don’t specify what your child maintenance money should be allocated towards and the money you receive is supposed to cover half of food, school uniform, childcare etc.

@Sweetchocolatecandy

Because the CMS don’t specify what your child maintenance money should be allocated towards and the money you receive is supposed to cover half of food, school uniform, childcare etc.

It's meant to be a contribution No one with half a brain cell thinks it covers 'half'. The vast majority of single parents are not getting massive amounts of maintenance. My ex used to pay about £25pw for 2 dc. I can guarantee that they cost far far more than twice that amount.

Realistically like another poster stated the men would not be able to afford to live especially people who have 2,3 or 4 plus kids. It is annoying though OP.

Yes but I’m sure you got all of your tax credits, child benefit etc on top of your maintenance to help you with your costs.

@Viviennemary

The whole set up is unfair. Somebody getting generous maintenance is entitled to the same benefits as somebody getting no maintenance. How in the world can that be fair.

I think this comment is terrible. That's not the issue why CMS is a poor system is it?

Weather someone gets decent maintainance is nothing to do with you I don't think they should be punished and get less benefits for many reasons... anyway what is "generous" maintainance to you? It's all relative. It's a terrible way to look at things. Us mums need to stick together and I wouldn't wish someone getting less benefits than me because their EX has a well paid job.... Good luck to to the mother and the kids

I don't know anybody who gets over £250 for their child each month IRL.

I know someone who gets £1000 a month maintenance.

@Sweetchocolatecandy

Yes but I’m sure you got all of your tax credits, child benefit etc on top of your maintenance to help you with your costs.

What's that got to do with his contribution not being half? Nothing. Maintenance and benefits are different things. The amount men get away with paying is shameful. I don't know how they sleep at night knowing they've contributed so little to their dcs lives. And for your information I've had periods where I haven't claimed anything other than CB. If we take that off of the overall cost of raising 2 dc he still paid no where near half.

When I first joined MN somebody was getting £4k a month maintenance and still got every benefit going. Its a scandal. I could hardly believe it.

Because they are in cloud land where everyone parents 50% and arranges own childcare for those days

@Viviennemary

When I first joined MN somebody was getting £4k a month maintenance and still got every benefit going. Its a scandal. I could hardly believe it.

Every benefit going? I don’t believe you, because that’s just not possible, so it’s no wonder you could hardly believe it yourself.

It is outrageous. My DP pays 50% of his daughters childcare costs on top of CMS and rightly so. My brother on the other hand has left, lost his job (possibly getting cash in hand work… being put up by new woman) and doesn’t have to pay anything to my sister in law. How is that fair 😩

@CiaoForDiNiaoSaur it’s everything to do with it. It’s not right that many fathers pay either what the CMS state or more when there’s single mothers raking in all the benefits then whinging about how hard their lives are. If they want more money they should go out and get a (better paid) job instead of using their exes as bank accounts. I know a single mother who purposely won’t allow her kids to stay over at their dad’s so she can clam more CMS. Sure, there are some deadbeat dads out there but there are some evil mothers as well.

It's not just unfair OP, it's bloody outrageous.

My EXDP pays 50% of the childcare bill, plus £300 in maintenance for 2 DC, so on average he gives me £700 per month (agreed informally).

DC1 has only just started reception, so the total childcare bill has recently reduced to £800, which is for DC2 only.

When I put the figures into the CMS, it said he should pay only £750 altogether. I thought about going to CMS now, however I know he'll stop paying half the childcare if I do that. I'm just waiting it out until DC2 starts reception, then I'll apply to CMS so the arrangement is formalised.

I work full-time and am extremely lucky to be a high earner myself, and can afford to look after the DC without his contribution otherwise I probably would have had to give up work, keep the DC at home until school and rely on benefits as the numbers wouldn't work otherwise.

Raking in all the benefits? Pull the other one. Ffs. Benefits are not enough to live on.

Yes. Yes. Us single mums should all go and get these well paid jobs that we aren't qualified for whilst doing the majority of the child rearing because heaven forbid the poor men should go without anything ever.

And yes. There are some shit mums. But I'd bet my last pound there are more deadbeat dads.

I know a single mother who purposely won’t allow her kids to stay over at their dad’s so she can clam more CMS.

Well their dad clearly isn’t too bothered if he hasn’t taken it to court.

@BunnytheFriendlyDragon

The way to rectify that anomaly would be to target the non generous maintenance payers. Not the benefits

But why? If it's actually paid why shouldn't it count as income.

This is my point. The system can never be com plods or and uniform and we are all biased by our own experiences.

Because there is never going to be political will to push hard enough for maintenance payments to make that fair.

When the system was that people on benefits got to keep £20 and the rest went to the Secretary of State the bill owed to the SOS they scrapped the system and changed to the one there is now.

It will never be a political push enough.

@Terminallysleepdeprived @Starseeking

I'm pleased there are some NR fathers out there with morals who pay an equal and fair contribution to childcare!

@CiaoForDiNiaoSaur

Raking in all the benefits? Pull the other one. Ffs. Benefits are not enough to live on.

Yes. Yes. Us single mums should all go and get these well paid jobs that we aren't qualified for whilst doing the majority of the child rearing because heaven forbid the poor men should go without anything ever.

And yes. There are some shit mums. But I'd bet my last pound there are more deadbeat dads.

Thing is... I have a "well paid" job. I still think that's got shite all to do with the fact that my DD's father is equally liable for the childcare bill when we both work full time.

[quote Sweetchocolatecandy]@CiaoForDiNiaoSaur it’s everything to do with it. It’s not right that many fathers pay either what the CMS state or more when there’s single mothers raking in all the benefits then whinging about how hard their lives are. If they want more money they should go out and get a (better paid) job instead of using their exes as bank accounts. I know a single mother who purposely won’t allow her kids to stay over at their dad’s so she can clam more CMS. Sure, there are some deadbeat dads out there but there are some evil mothers as well.[/quote]
Those dad's need to take the mothers to court and seek a child care arrangement order so it's legally binding to both parents

Oh and I'd like to point out that I'm "raking in" precisely zero benefits.

[quote Sofiegiraffe]**@Terminallysleepdeprived* @Starseeking*

I'm pleased there are some NR fathers out there with morals who pay an equal and fair contribution to childcare! [/quote]

I agree he pays 50% childcare (which he should given he sees the DC on average once a month for the weekend) but maintenance he alone decided was enough at £300 across 2 DC is a joke.

School uniform for DC1 came to £150 alone, never mind buying them food and essentials each month. £300 for 2 DC is not on, even the CMS think maintenance should be more than double that!

@Sweetchocolatecandy you're derailing my thread with irrelevant issues.