DH nearly knocked woman flying

[OneFlewOverTheOwlsNest]

We were due to travel to Dublin and the security at the airport was ridiculously long - we were not going to make the flight. Once through security we literally sprinted to the gate, once there DH charged at the woman who was just closing the gate, she turned just in time to see him flying towards her and screamed “SHIT!!!” As he crashed into her - he caught her before she fell and breathlessly asked “we were stuck in security!”
She opened the gate back up and called the mini bus thing to come back whilst explaining that the two missing passengers had arrived - and nearly took her out in the process. I was mortified. The bus came back for us and the woman started laughing and said “Jesus, I need a drink”. I apologised profusely and she said it was ok, she just assumed she was being attacked for a minute. She then apologised for swearing (!!)
Once we were on the plane the pilot came on the tannoy apologising for the delay explaining that they had to wait for two late passengers. Everyone looked at us. I have never forgotten it and I do laugh when I think back but Christ, he could’ve been arrested!

Feeling shit today, AIbU to ask for your holiday disaster stories? (Lighthearted!!)

Also - AIbU to laugh about this now - years later - despite how “wrong” it was at the time?

@UnemotionalVelvet

No idea why people have to be so sour faced. Maybe it was funny, maybe it wasn't. I suspect the po-faced brigade were also monitoring their neighbours during lockdown.

As an aside, I hope these people have helped you to realise, OP, that your husband is a disorganised, mysogynistic twat who goes around lording it over the small fry who work in customer services. I suggest you LTB forthwith and never say anything remotely jocular again.

Nah no neighbour monitoring for me. I just know what twatty behaviour is.

@MyCatDribbles

I don’t understand why people are posting snarky comments to the OP

Neither do I. It's the equivalent of eavesdropping in a cafe and shouting over "you're not funny!" at strangers every 10 minutes. I have no idea why they think it's a good use of their time given there are a million other threads they could be reading for entertainment, without being a dick about it.

Absolutely miscalculated the time it would take to get from London Bridge to Gatwick on the train - after deciding not to catch the Gatwick express because I was working close to LB that day - and running full-pelt through the airport, including running super-fast past the gate as I was on one of the travelators. Slowed down on the way back to notice the seating area was packed and the gate staff laughing at me - the flight was delayed and I was definitely not going to miss it.

My only real holday disaster was an almost…i was flying out of stanstead at about 7am, my son was 1 at the time and i changed his nappy before we went through the gate. Got to the gate and i had left the changing bag along with all our passports and boarding passes in the changing room. Ive never ran so fast or been so relieved it was quiet, the bag was right where i left it but it could have been so much worse, got back to the gate just in time.

If anyone loves being nosey at people's bags in airport security, check out the US TSA account on insta. The things they find in people's bags are hair-raising (especially given USA's stance that weaponry is fine in checked baggage )

instagram.com/tsa?utm_medium=copy_link

My very small son once got a really unfortunate short haircut which cut off the lighter ends. He looked much darker and he had got thinner too since his passport photograph. We were expecting to sail through immigration but he was hauled back and compared again to his passport photograph. They eventually believed it was him.

I once had the weirdest UK immigration officer when my husband and I flew in from Paris where we were on holidy for a day in London to have lunch with an old school friend. I didn't put down an address in London on the card as we were only going to be there for the day. I am a New Zealander but also an EU national. I was travelling on a New Zealand passport and this lunatic woman became convinced that we intended to abscond and start a new life in the UK armed only with the contents of my handbag despite the fact that our small children were in New Zealand. She refused to believe that we really were there for the day with flights booked back in the evening. I explained about the reason for the trip but she seemed to believe that nobody could prefer Paris to London. I nearly ended up shouting at her that I could live in her wretchedly cold and damp country any time I wanted but I thought about rubber gloves so I didn't.

I must have a suspicious look to me because I always seem to get more weird searches than anybody else I know. For what it's worth I'm a pale, blue-eyed blonde. I once got chosen for an explosives residue test in a tiny airport somewhere off the Australian mainland when I was travelling with my husband and two small children. (My husband is pretty pasty looking too.) I clutched my cashmere hoodie to me and declared that they weren't to hurt it. They just stuck a bit of tape to it and analysed that.

My husband has travelled a bit in Russia. He told me that if you were young, dark and male you got searched and there was no pretence about political correctness and random sampling.

I've been that late onto a plane that everyone knew it was me and my friend who had held the flight up, yes. Didn't rugby tackle any crew on the way through though!
Had a "personal hygiene" emergency and needed to stop at Boots in the airport to rectify the issue before getting on the tiny flying bus plane and didn't realise how long that process had taken.
It was an amazing plane ride too - bit windy - my favourite bit was us all rising out of our seats as the plane dropped about 30 feet (well, that's what it felt like), and the stewardess catching all the glasses of OJ on the tray without spilling any (clearly used to it)!

Thinking about it, I may have had more "stories" than straightforward flights... won't bore you with them all, but my only real "disaster" type one was where I was going to Indonesia with a friend. Heathrow let us on the plane to Vienna, but after waiting in Vienna for 4h for our connecting flight, they wouldn't let me on it! The reason - I only had 4m left on my passport, and Indonesia require you to have 6m minimum (Common in a lot more places now!). I thought I could wait until the next day in Vienna, go to the British Consulate/Embassy and get it sorted, and take the plane out the next day - ahahaha. No. It only went once a week. So they sorted me out a return flight to London, I got to go back to work for a week (paid for the return flight) and the following week I set off again, having updated my passport in the interim (back in the days where you COULD just go to Petty France and sit there). Only problem was - when I got to Heathrow, I'd missed my flight to Vienna - somehow I'd misread the ticket time (paper tickets, so long ago!) and assumed the flight would be the same one as the previous week, but it wasn't, it was the earlier one. VERY nice lady fixed it for me to go on the next flight, which still got me into Vienna in time to get my flight to Indonesia.
But that wasn't the end of it. My luggage had gone to Indonesia the week before, because it would have taken too long to find it among all the other luggage - so my friend had taken responsibility for it and taken it with her. Which meant I had a whole new luggage allowance for THIS flight, and the British friend we were visiting asked me to bring a whole load of stuff over with me - including marzipan.
You wouldn't think there was anything wrong with that - but another friend in the UK said "make sure you take marzipan in your hand luggage so they can see what it is - sniffer dogs might think it's Semtex [apparently smells slightly of almonds]"
I said this to the check in lady - she laughed, called the baggage handlers who roared with laughter and then said "yeah, she'd better take it in her hand luggage". I had visions of not knowing any of this, and my luggage being exploded in a controlled detonation at Heathrow after sniffer dogs identified it as a bomb...

Anyway, after that it was all plain sailing and I got to Indonesia without further incident, had a great time and all was fab.

@EatSleepRantRepeat

Its more the equivalent of being in a café and someone coming over to tell you an anecdote about their life. They then ask if you think its funny. If you think it isn't, you tell them 'no, its not, sorry'

I was 16. A young 16, my parents didn't let me do normal teenage things, but I somehow managed to get them to agree to me visiting relatives in Australia.

I had never flown before.

This was the early 1980s so the flight stopped at Bahrain and then I had to change planes at Singapore. Obviously no mobile phones.

On the way to Bahrain there was a sand storm so the plane was directed to a tiny airport in a desert, it was so small they couldn't unload us as there were, "no facilities".

So they pulled the blinds down and put the film on, one big screen and everyone had head phones that were like a stethoscope and hurt your ears.

This being a desert it was hot and people were having cold drinks, until the plane ran out of all drinks including water.

We were there for 5 hours.

Obviously that meant we were late into Singapore so they re routed a plane headed for Melbourne for us. I don't think the passengers who had booked a flight to Melbourne were too happy about having to go to Perth.

It didn't put me off flying though. Or solo travel.

Oh God, about 4 years ago we were due to have a weekend in London with the in-laws for a concert.
DH and I see loads of live music (in normal times!) and I knew the next few coming up were the 29th of the month (with in laws) 22nd and 30th of the next month locally.

I booked flight for DH & I, in-laws had booked the accom and had the tickets, lots of chat about how excited we all were and plans made for “the Friday” and “the Saturday”
In laws were arriving down on the Thursday and the rest of us (3 couples coming from different airports) arriving on the Friday.

Thursday the 21st and MIL puts a FB post up of her and FIL smiling in an airport selfie about how exited they were for the weekend with all the family and for the concert with a cheery “see you all tomorrow!!!!!!”

The next few hours were completely horrible, I rearranged everything, work, my folks babysitting, packing, flights changed to the next day (at huge expense) I cried when I couldn’t get an eyebrow waxing appointment that day which is just ridiculous.

DH, work and my own folks thought it was all absolutely fucking hilarious!

I’ve told DH we’ll tell the in laws one day when I finally see the funny side, hadn’t happened yet though!

@MyCatDribbles

I don’t understand why people are posting snarky comments to the OP

Same. It's pretty horrible

[quote Miniestelle]@EatSleepRantRepeat

Its more the equivalent of being in a café and someone coming over to tell you an anecdote about their life. They then ask if you think its funny. If you think it isn't, you tell them 'no, its not, sorry'[/quote]
See, I was brought up to believe that if you can't say anything nice, you say nothing at all. With the obvious exception of other people being upset or injured by what the person is doing. Social graces appear to have gone out of the window in the recent #allopinionsmatter culture we're sliding into.

Voting is confusing but this isn’t funny.

*DH and I are total opposites when it comes to travelling- I don’t like to loiter in airports and would rather get there as close to the flight time as possible and he’d rather be 8 hours early than risk missing the flight.

Our first holiday together (we hasn’t been dating long), I put my foot down and said we weren’t going to get there any earlier than x time before the flight (can’t remember how long now) and all was fine. Then I insisted we had time to mooch around the shops and get some breakfast and generally waste time. It got to the point where they were calling our names over the speakers telling us we had 5 minutes to get to our gate and I’ve not been allowed to be in charge of timings since.*

@GoBrookeYourself Are you and your DH my parents? My parents have an almost identical story to yours!

I have to get through and be at the gates/boarding area as early as possible. I'm paranoid about missing the plane/ferry. Thankfully, I married a man just like me so we never row over it!

I also saw a stand-off where passengers were being asked to hand over luggage that they had planned to take aboard, in order that it could be put in the hold instead. I don't know what happened in the end, because neither side was budging. The flight left on time anyway, so someone won or lost the argument

Ha this happened us on on a Ryanair Flight.

We ended up at the back of the queue to board. Some passengers had already gone through with their bags and Everyone remaining was being asked in turn to hand it over. Some did most didn’t.
By the time the check in staff got to us we were basically told we “had” to hand over our luggage we only really had stuff that we needed (me, dh and 3 dcs!)

We refused, but the staff “demanded” we hand it over because nobody else had given theirs up. So we’d have to give ours over!
One of them actually tried to remove Dhs backpack from his back!

After much to-ing and fro-ing, In the end I told them to find me a carrier bag, came back with said bag and we took everything out that we needed of the offending bag re-distributed it between carrier bag, dh’s and ds’s back pack and handed her a near empty suitcase!😂

They walked away muttering under their breath, what I don’t know but i can imagine!
They Went back up the queue but don’t know if they managed to coax any more bags from other passengers but they were not happy!

See, I was brought up to believe that if you can't say anything nice, you say nothing at all.

And yet you posted this….

Neither do I. It's the equivalent of eavesdropping in a cafe and shouting over "you're not funny!" at strangers every 10 minutes. I have no idea why they think it's a good use of their time given there are a million other threads they could be reading for entertainment, without being a dick about it.

Not sure which part of that post you thought was nice. 🤔

I once heard the final call for the flight I was on. I turned on an Olympic style sprint with fairly heavy cabin luggage across the tarmac. I bolted up the steps and stood panting looking at a near empty plane. Something had gone wrong and the final call was the first that had actually been broadcast. The rest of the passengers turned up at a more sedate pace.

I once got a trip to Europe re-routed through Japan for reasons which are not readily apparent to me. I had a stopover and was congratulating myself when I got myself to the airport the next morning and saw the right gate number. Then I realise there is a train running from the gate. I got on the train and there was more than one stop and all the signs were in Japanese. I ended up shouting, "Does anyone speak English and know where I should get off for the international terminal?" Some English speakers told me it was the next stop.

Well I laughed my head of that brilliantly worded tale! Ignore the virtue signalers!

I have some crazy stories of my travels in America but nobody would believe me and id be reported as a troll....

@Mummyoflittledragon

YABU Physically disabled woman here. Chronic pain sufferer. A man crashing “accidentally” into a woman on heels just to avoid paying for another couple of tickets isn’t funny. If a person “accidentally” did this to me, it could set me back years and cost me thousands in physio appointments.

Give your head a shake! It wasn't intentional, it was years ago and IT WASN'T OP!!! Have a sense of humour will you?!

I spectacularly smashed some glasses at the Champagne bar in Heathrow T5, tiled floor, huge sound of smashing glass everyone in the terminal turned to stare, on the plane I overheard people talking about it.

I’ve also left my car at one airport and returned to a different one by accident

@Doubledoorsontogarden haha, attempting to find your car in the car park after you've return home is always fun!!

I apologised profusely and she said it was ok, she just assumed she was being attacked for a minute.

Did your DH also apologise or did he leave that up to you?

Christ, my husband is 6ft 4 and 18 stone, he'd do someone an injury behaving like that!

I generally do find similar mishaps amusing, but this just sounds a bit weird tbh. I'm not really sure why he was running full pelt into a woman that was clearly standing there doing her job. It's a bizarre thing to do. But I imagine there's been quite a lot of exaggeration for comedic effect that makes it sound much worse than it was!

I just can't imagine how he was so out of control/running so fast that he couldn't stop in time.

Now, if she hadn't reopened the gate & called the bus back I admit I would have found it funny.

*Its more the equivalent of being in a café and someone coming over to tell you an anecdote about their life. They then ask if you think its funny. If you think it isn't, you tell them 'no, its not, sorry'
*

Yeah then sitting there harassing them for hours telling them at length just how not funny it is. You've had your say, nobody cares what you think. Move along.