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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think parents who do this are hypocrites

431 replies

Cazzovuoi · 10/10/2021 16:08

I'm so sad for all the kids who will miss the magic of Santa because parents don't want to lie to their kids.

It's a bizarre concept to me that you think letting your kids believe in a wonderful magical, mythical person is lying yet, if you are religious, you actively teach them to believe in a malevolent, omnipotent, all powerful, cruel being so controlling that he takes attendance on Sunday.

At least Santa was a real person.

OP posts:
RicherThanYew · 10/10/2021 16:09

You're conflating religious parents with those who won't allow their children to believe in Father Christmas, they're not the same.

Stompythedinosaur · 10/10/2021 16:10

I think there is no reason to worry about this. It is a very personal decision. We did santa, but I am totally unbothered if other families don't.

Religion is equally personal.

Original poster
Cazzovuoi · 10/10/2021 16:11

@RicherThanYew

You're conflating religious parents with those who won't allow their children to believe in Father Christmas, they're not the same.
Oh they are the same. I know both. Parents who tell the kids about Santa and ones who don't. All go to the same Church.
OP posts:
Original poster
Cazzovuoi · 10/10/2021 16:12

@Stompythedinosaur

I think there is no reason to worry about this. It is a very personal decision. We did santa, but I am totally unbothered if other families don't.

Religion is equally personal.

I feel really sad for those children. Obviously it's none of my business and I wouldn't try to make it so, what my OP was about was the hypocrisy of it.
OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 10/10/2021 16:12

There's lots of Christmas magic, Santa is a small part. I wasn't brought up with Santa because it wasn't cultural. I don't think that I missed anything. Santa can be something to go along with, like scary stories, but the child can know that he isn't really bringing the presents.
I think by five children should be starting to be taught critical thinking and a level of why charity is needed. So it's only a small window of belief. We aren't religious btw.

EatYourVegetables · 10/10/2021 16:13

Do you feel sad for the kids who learn at the age of 10 or so that they’ve been lied to their entire lives?

BananaPB · 10/10/2021 16:14

Equating Christmas magic with Santa is very sad

Ponoka7 · 10/10/2021 16:15

"I feel really sad for those children"

There's no real difference between Santa bringing presents vs parents. They aren't missing out on anything.

Changethetoner · 10/10/2021 16:19

OP it is obvious that you don't attend any church. Your ignorance is showing. the God I know is not malevolent, omnipotent, all powerful, cruel or bothered about bums on seats on a Sunday. I find it rather distasteful that you spout this rubbish.

And yes, we had Santa in our family when child was small.

Not all churches are the same, and if you actually attended, you might discover this.

TReXX · 10/10/2021 16:19

I felt like an utter fool when I realised father Christmas was a lie.

I still remember the sting of shame at being duped years later - so I don't see it the same way I'm afraid.

We did do the whole mince pie and brandy for father Christmas and carrot for the reindeer thing with ours but always tongue in cheek, they knew it wasn't real but we all played along.

Simonjt · 10/10/2021 16:19

I don’t celebrate christmas, never did the whole santa thing etc, not being a christian isn’t at all sad.

If you feel sad about children who don’t celebrate christmas and have santa, surely you’re also equally sorry for children who don’t celebrate eid, hanukkah, vaisakhi or diwali?

TheKeatingFive · 10/10/2021 16:20

There's no real difference between Santa bringing presents vs parents. They aren't missing out on anything.

Well I totally disagree with this on a personal level, but it's no business of mine what other parents do on this issue. The OP is BU.

5zeds · 10/10/2021 16:20

Father Christmas is really very little to do with Christmas. Christmas is about The birth of Christ. St Nicholas Day is earlier in the month.

Stompythedinosaur · 10/10/2021 16:20

There's always something to pity other dc over if you think your parenting is the only right way to do things!

We do santa, but my (clearly disadvantaged) dc have been pitied over the years for: not having a sahm, not being allowed to play fortnite, not being allowed helium balloons, not being allowed to play on funfair stalls with love fish for prizes. Probably loads of other stuff too.

Honestly, there's just loads of stuff that it is not worth worrying about around what other families do.

NearlyNearlyThere · 10/10/2021 16:23

@Ponoka7
“ I think by five children should be starting to be taught critical thinking and a level of why charity is needed. So it's only a small window of belief. We aren't religious btw.”

Yes, I feel uneasy with it above school age. The deception just gets too bloody complicated when you have to have separate presents from Father Christmas and then presents from everyone else.
Originally, I think the old man just gave out a few sweets on St Nicholas’ Day

Kaceya2230 · 10/10/2021 16:23

I remember many many years ago now my mum got upset because another mum of a child did not do the whole Santa thing. It did not affect us, the woman's kid was not going to school telling us Santa wasn't real! They had just talked about it between themselves. My mum said that her kids must have w shit Christmas without Santa but do they? Christmas is magical regardless imo.

Don't get me wrong, I have two dc, we do Santa but I'm not ott with it. Santa literally brings them a small stocking and one gift, nothing huge. I'm just like if they find out whatever! They'd still have a great Christmas without it!

Tryagainplease · 10/10/2021 16:24

I’m not religious but I find your explanation of religion a bit odd. I don’t think anyway teaches that god is malevolent- quite the opposite.

Chunkymenrock · 10/10/2021 16:24

Oh ffs OP. I too felt embarrassed and cheated when I realised the joke was on me believing in Father Christmas. I have not made it a massive, central thing in my children's lives. Father Christmas brings a little stocking and that's it.Minimal drama.

FauxPsychic · 10/10/2021 16:25

Such insular view to believe Santa is the be-all and end-all of "Christmas magic".

Are these children, who apparently have it better than others, also missing out on other people's christmas time cultural practices or is your version of Christmas the only right one?

Holskey · 10/10/2021 16:25

I was with you until the religious bashing part.

fungussingstheblues · 10/10/2021 16:26

What exactly is "the magic of Santa"? What does that mean?

Wnikat · 10/10/2021 16:27

Nah my kids are fine ta. I tell them God isn’t real either.

TwoMuchTwoYoung · 10/10/2021 16:30

Father Christmas is really very little to do with Christmas. Christmas is about The birth of Christ. St Nicholas Day is earlier in the month.

Completely the other way round in this house, seen as both are make believe we go with the more fun option.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 10/10/2021 16:31

At least Santa was a real person

Hate to break it to you OP but {whispers}, he's not. Santa is a mythical character based on St Nicholas.

Ari202 · 10/10/2021 16:31

You choosing to believe that ‘Santa’ was a real person, though their is no real evidence of this is no different to people believing in a God.
Your post is just a stab at people’s religious beliefs and it’s actually none of your business how other people choose to raise their kids.