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Original poster

To think parents who do this are hypocrites

431 replies

Cazzovuoi · 10/10/2021 16:08

I'm so sad for all the kids who will miss the magic of Santa because parents don't want to lie to their kids.

It's a bizarre concept to me that you think letting your kids believe in a wonderful magical, mythical person is lying yet, if you are religious, you actively teach them to believe in a malevolent, omnipotent, all powerful, cruel being so controlling that he takes attendance on Sunday.

At least Santa was a real person.

OP posts:
LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 10/10/2021 17:26

I did Father Christmas with my children. It was great fun. Would do it all again. They were not traumatised at all on finding out they were lied to. They just appreciated all the effort I had gone to; unsung. But, I really don’t think that the “magic” of Christmas begins and ends there.

In my experience, most parents who insist on telling the truth about Santa are not the religious ones. Plainly you have encountered some who are. But that is the exception I think.

It’s all down to personal parenting choice. Not something I’d get very bothered about.

TableFlowerss · 10/10/2021 17:26

@NeedAHoliday2021

I find it bizarre that people see it as parents lying… it’s not like telling you your dad is a man who actually isn’t - clearly a lie to be annoyed about! Father Christmas is something everyone I know looks back on with fond memories of a magical Christmas, then dc find out the truth and feel love for the amazing parents who put in the time and energy to make it magical. Saying you don’t want to lie is just a way of justifying not bothering. I’ve it was so traumatic then why would generation after generation keep it going? We do it because our memories of magical Christmases are something we want for our dc.
This!!! It really did make it magical
dongke · 10/10/2021 17:27

I’m one. Worked it out aged 6 when my mum slipped and was forced to continue the lie for my younger sibling for another 7/8 years. I hated it. It definitely affected the trust I had in my parents.

Wowsers!

3scape · 10/10/2021 17:28

Santa, god, tooth fairies and Easter bunnies and ghosts. All in the same box of utter shite to me. I'm not paying money for random tack just because it's Halloween either. My kids have a great imagination but then so do the kids of God bothers and Christmas crazies. Just live and let live maybe?!

GreyhoundG1rl · 10/10/2021 17:28

@JasonMomoasgirlfriend

I do think though that if we stopped focusing on Santa then that child's generation may grow up to be less "stuff" orientated. We grow up getting excited by gifts and buying sack fulls of presents when there really is no need. My parents did spoil me and my brother with Santa presents and I really can't remember much about them at all.
Not sure about that, really. I grew up believing in Santa and we didn't get very much at all, relatively speaking. Still magic. Don't the Santa deniers buy their kids gifts?
TheLeadbetterLife · 10/10/2021 17:28

The "magic of Santa" is just as bizarre as any religious belief, and the bigger the deal that is made of it the worse it is, in my view.

When I was a child only the stockings (with little things like chocolate coins, toothbrushes and walnuts in them) were from Father Christmas.

People bang on about the joy in a child's eyes when they see a heap of supposedly magically-delivered presents on Christmas morning. Frankly, it's just wide-eyed greed, if we're all honest, isn't it? Priming kids for a lifetime of consumerism.

It's also utterly depressing from a feminist point of view that two fictional men (Jesus and Father Christmas) get all the credit for a day that is usually facilitated through weeks of toil by a woman.

Why not raise children to be more grateful for their mothers for making Christmas "magical", instead of having them send letters up chimneys and say prayers?

cantkeepawayforever · 10/10/2021 17:28

@julieca

My family didn't teach that Santa was real, although they did teach me as a child about St Nicholas. I love Christmas and always have. It is a magical time full of wonder.
Exactly. Believing that Santa is real is not a guarantee of 'a magical Christmas', any more than 'knowing that Father Christmas is a fantastic Christmas story that people love to tell' is a guarantee of a terrible one.
FauxPsychic · 10/10/2021 17:29

I find it bizarre that people see it as parents lying… it’s not like telling you your dad is a man who actually isn’t - clearly a lie to be annoyed about!

Lying is lying though, just that some are more serious than others.

I think that some parents not wanting to accept it as a lie is a bit hypocritical.

(Not claiming to have never lied before some people jump on me. Just responding to a point here.)

PooWillyNameChange · 10/10/2021 17:29

I can't get worked up about it. It's hardly child abuse.

I'm an atheist but even to me it's obvious that FC and God aren't the same because theists believe in their god(s) whereas adults don't believe in FC even if they tell their kids about him. It's not hypocrisy at all, and Christmas is a religious festival so j can see the argument for not diluting it with anything but God and Christ. As I said, I'm not religious so we will be cracking on with drinking too much, lying to our kids and watching the Grinch 10 times in one month.

TReXX · 10/10/2021 17:30

@dongke

I’m one. Worked it out aged 6 when my mum slipped and was forced to continue the lie for my younger sibling for another 7/8 years. I hated it. It definitely affected the trust I had in my parents.

Wowsers!

@dongke you do seem to have a problem believing what people tell you about their personal experiences.

Trust issues?Wink

dongke · 10/10/2021 17:30

I discovered Santa wasn't real by finding presents, obviously I was suspicious hence searching. I didn't give it a second thought & my mum still does me a stocking from Santa!

GreyhoundG1rl · 10/10/2021 17:31

Why not raise children to be more grateful for their mothers for making Christmas "magical", instead of having them send letters up chimneys and say prayers?
The Irish do just that. January 6th is designated "Women's Christmas", a day where women are waited on and feted for all their hard work in "making" Christmas.
Still have Santa.

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 10/10/2021 17:31

Yeh I agree, I will definitely continue with Father Christmas because it was so special for me and my brother and we have fantastic memories of it from our childhoods.
The excitement the night before and putting out the milk and cookie, opening the door to see if he had been, seeing Santa's footprints.
Stuff like that, it was great :)

FauxPsychic · 10/10/2021 17:31

People bang on about the joy in a child's eyes when they see a heap of supposedly magically-delivered presents on Christmas morning. Frankly, it's just wide-eyed greed, if we're all honest, isn't it? Priming kids for a lifetime of consumerism.

Quite. The real "magic" may just be found in creating and actually enjoying Christmas traditions without it.

dongke · 10/10/2021 17:32

you do seem to have a problem believing what people tell you about their personal experiences

Not at all, I just struggle to understand how finding out Santa wasn't real would have a long term impact on the relationship & trust you have in your parents.

GreyhoundG1rl · 10/10/2021 17:32

you do seem to have a problem believing what people tell you about their personal experiences.
You can believe something and still find it weird Confused

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 10/10/2021 17:34

How are they lying if they actually believe God exists?

M4J4 · 10/10/2021 17:34

@GreyhoundG1rl

What a crab apple you sound. What exactly is your problem with this?! It's not compulsory 😂

Crab apple? What are you then, a rotten one?!

It’s a debate, I’m joining in. What exactly is your problem with this?

dongke · 10/10/2021 17:34

Lying is lying though, just that some are more serious than others.

But lying is normal in many circumstances & most of us tell white lies because it's more socially acceptable to do so.

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 10/10/2021 17:34

Frankly, it's just wide-eyed greed, if we're all honest, isn't it? Priming kids for a lifetime of consumerism.
I think so.

dongke · 10/10/2021 17:35

You can believe something and still find it weird

Yep!

HappyDays101010 · 10/10/2021 17:37

I just struggle to understand how finding out Santa wasn't real would have a long term impact on the relationship & trust you have in your parents

Depends how they do it. My mum insisted that Father Christmas was real long after I suspected he wasn’t. I felt embarrassed and ‘bad’ for doubting the ‘magic’ in a way that I can’t really explain. It really did ruin the whole thing for me.

TReXX · 10/10/2021 17:37

@dongke

you do seem to have a problem believing what people tell you about their personal experiences

Not at all, I just struggle to understand how finding out Santa wasn't real would have a long term impact on the relationship & trust you have in your parents.

Fair enough (my comment was tongue in cheek sorry if that didn't come across in text).

And you're right, it didn't really cause serious trust issues with my parents. It was more of a rude awakening and an embarrassment.

Which was bound to happen at some point of course and I suppose you could argue that in this scenario it happens in a safe way!

TheLeadbetterLife · 10/10/2021 17:37

@GreyhoundG1rl

Why not raise children to be more grateful for their mothers for making Christmas "magical", instead of having them send letters up chimneys and say prayers? The Irish do just that. January 6th is designated "Women's Christmas", a day where women are waited on and feted for all their hard work in "making" Christmas. Still have Santa.
That is fantastic!

I'm not anti-Santa per se, I just think it's weird how over the top it all is compared to the 80s when I was growing up. Yes, I believed in it for a few years, but it wasn't a big deal either way, because it was a relatively small part of Christmas. It's the shift in focus towards Stuff (presents, tat, generally buying more and more), of which Santa is now a central part, that I dislike.

dongke · 10/10/2021 17:42

@TReXX my DH had a rude awakening when he found suggestive snaps of his mother 😱😂