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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think parents who do this are hypocrites

431 replies

Cazzovuoi · 10/10/2021 16:08

I'm so sad for all the kids who will miss the magic of Santa because parents don't want to lie to their kids.

It's a bizarre concept to me that you think letting your kids believe in a wonderful magical, mythical person is lying yet, if you are religious, you actively teach them to believe in a malevolent, omnipotent, all powerful, cruel being so controlling that he takes attendance on Sunday.

At least Santa was a real person.

OP posts:
dongke · 10/10/2021 16:33

Oh ffs OP. I too felt embarrassed and cheated when I realised the joke was on me believing in Father Christmas

As a kid I believed for about a year that monsters lived under my bed & a shark may get me in a lake. I didn't beat myself up when I realised this was silly, I was a kid.

I think each to your own re believing in Santa however I don't really understand the "I would never lie to my dc".

girlmom21 · 10/10/2021 16:34

If you regularly go to church and are this judgmental you're as much of a hypocrite as anyone else

Toddlerteaplease · 10/10/2021 16:35

@Changethetoner

OP it is obvious that you don't attend any church. Your ignorance is showing. the God I know is not malevolent, omnipotent, all powerful, cruel or bothered about bums on seats on a Sunday. I find it rather distasteful that you spout this rubbish.

And yes, we had Santa in our family when child was small.

Not all churches are the same, and if you actually attended, you might discover this.

Too right.
FauxPsychic · 10/10/2021 16:35

I'm not religious but I'll say the obvious difference, which you skipped over in your haste to bash religious people, is that religious people generally believe in their religion but the adults who tell children about Santa know it's not true.

So I wouldn't call them hypocrites.

The hypocrites are those who lie to their children about a man who brings presents for them, for no other reason other than "because I want to give you the magic of something" ; "it's because of my love for you", then teach the children that lying under any circumstance is wrong.

dongke · 10/10/2021 16:35

I still remember the sting of shame at being duped years later - so I don't see it the same way I'm afraid.

How long did you believe for?

MargosKaftan · 10/10/2021 16:35

We have done the whole father Christmas thing. Bur I can see why some dont.

What I would say the massive difference is no parent believes in father Christmas/santa. They are faking and lying to their dcs. However religious people do believe in their faith /God and so are teaching their children the truth as far as they believe.

kittenkipping · 10/10/2021 16:38

It's a skewed idea op. I'm almost the opposite. I have celebration envy. I have Jewish friends and eid seems like something I'd enjoy. As does Diwali. And Easter- not our Easter though, the way they do it catholic areas of Spain is a riot! Parades the lot! I'd love to celebrate thanksgiving and Independence Day. They look fun. I don't however feel sorry for my children because they don't believe or don't have cultural connection to in any/ all of these things. They don't deserve pity because they don't believe in Diwali or because they don't believe in god. Why would they? Different family and different cultures celebrate/ do things differently. Shouldnt be a revelation for you really

Original poster
Cazzovuoi · 10/10/2021 16:39

@trappedsincesundaymorn

At least Santa was a real person

Hate to break it to you OP but {whispers}, he's not. Santa is a mythical character based on St Nicholas.

What do you think Santa means? Saint ... as in St. Nicholas ....
OP posts:
NavigatingAdolescence · 10/10/2021 16:39

@FauxPsychic

Such insular view to believe Santa is the be-all and end-all of "Christmas magic".

Are these children, who apparently have it better than others, also missing out on other people's christmas time cultural practices or is your version of Christmas the only right one?

Quite. Not very imaginative, is it?

We’ve never pushed the idea of Santa. We don’t celebrate Xmas (atheists). We celebrate winter and nature and stargazing and time with family between Nov and Feb - all of which is very much far more real than whatever “magic” you think comes with “doing Santa”. About to have DD’s 12th winter - sky hasn’t fallen in yet.

FauxPsychic · 10/10/2021 16:39

And what about those who don't do both, OP. Do you think they should mount their high horse and glare down at those who do either, especially those who lie to their children about Santa?

TReXX · 10/10/2021 16:40

@dongke

I still remember the sting of shame at being duped years later - so I don't see it the same way I'm afraid.

How long did you believe for?

Too long!!

I remember kids at school saying they'd seen their parents sneaking about with stockings and presents and me fiercely denying it all.

I guess I was about 7 maybe, not sure could have been 8.

I know it sounds over dramatic but I really did feel shit about it and it shook my absolute trust in my parents ... Grin

GreyhoundG1rl · 10/10/2021 16:40

@EatYourVegetables

Do you feel sad for the kids who learn at the age of 10 or so that they’ve been lied to their entire lives?
No. Do you?!
Kanaloa · 10/10/2021 16:41

We don’t do Santa in our house. We still celebrate Christmas and really enjoy it. We use it a time to be together with family, reflect on the past year, and have a lovely time together. I wouldn’t feel too sad for my kids, they have a good Christmas.

hangrylady · 10/10/2021 16:43

I don't necessarily feel sad for the kids but I do roll my eyes at parents who 'don't want to lie to my kids'. Bore off, I know nobody that has been traumatised by finding out FC wasn't real.

Kanaloa · 10/10/2021 16:43

And I would rather my kids know that I’ve picked out and paid for all their gifts to share with them rather than thinking that magical gifts fly down from the sky if you’ve behaved well. I mean there are kids at my dd ballet that get thousands of pounds worth of gifts. Lovely girls but not better than or nicer than my daughter. Just richer.

SammyScrounge · 10/10/2021 16:44

My dd1 was first to realise Santa was a game. She loved being in on the secret
and keeping it going for her siblings. I will always remember them all sitting at the foot of the stairs in 'the light of the Christmas tree while I read them 'Twas the night before Christmas.'anf they listened out for Santa.
It was a lovely time.

mimi0708 · 10/10/2021 16:45

Santa is just a very small part of Christmas. I grew up without the Santa thing as it is not just part of our culture, we do a whole loads of other stuff which make Christmas very magical. It's still my favorite season of the year.

bakingdemon · 10/10/2021 16:46

I believe God is real and that Jesus Christ was his Son. So do billions of other people.

Every adult knows that Santa is a lie sprung from a weird mix of medieval saints myths and modern drinks marketing.

There's a difference.

GreyhoundG1rl · 10/10/2021 16:47

@Kanaloa

And I would rather my kids know that I’ve picked out and paid for all their gifts to share with them rather than thinking that magical gifts fly down from the sky if you’ve behaved well. I mean there are kids at my dd ballet that get thousands of pounds worth of gifts. Lovely girls but not better than or nicer than my daughter. Just richer.
That would be the case whoever is credited with the gifts, surely?
DicklessWonder · 10/10/2021 16:47

@hangrylady

I don't necessarily feel sad for the kids but I do roll my eyes at parents who 'don't want to lie to my kids'. Bore off, I know nobody that has been traumatised by finding out FC wasn't real.
I’m one. Worked it out aged 6 when my mum slipped and was forced to continue the lie for my younger sibling for another 7/8 years. I hated it. It definitely affected the trust I had in my parents.
Throckmorton · 10/10/2021 16:48

My parents didn't do santa - it didn't make Christmas any less magical for me, so you can save your sadness OP.

Snugglepumpkin · 10/10/2021 16:48

I dont know anyone who teaches their children about a malevolent or cruel being so YABU & rather offensive to those who are religious.

You seem to have issues with religion but don't have any issue taking part in a religious holiday which seems pretty hyprocritical to me.

terrifa · 10/10/2021 16:48

You big dafty.

WorriedGiraffe · 10/10/2021 16:49

Don’t no why you believe ‘saint’ Nicholas was real, but that god, and presumably lots of other saints are not. Maybe you should educate yourself more about religion, it’s not all cruel and strict by any means.

Also we all no Santa isn’t real, but people who believe in god believe that he is real, so it’s not lying in their eyes. I do think kids should be allowed to believe in Santa, your comments about it being the same as all religion are just daft in my opinion though.

Kanaloa · 10/10/2021 16:49

@GreyhoundG1rl

Not sure what you mean? If Santa brings gifts to children based on how good or nice they are then the nicest children should get the best gifts?

Whereas in real life richer children usually get more/better gifts while poorer kids will get less. Because their parents can’t afford as much. Of course the kids with more money will still get more than my kids, but everyone’s aware that it isn’t based on behaviour but on how much money your parents have.