To think parents who do this are hypocrites

[Cazzovuoi]

I'm so sad for all the kids who will miss the magic of Santa because parents don't want to lie to their kids.

It's a bizarre concept to me that you think letting your kids believe in a wonderful magical, mythical person is lying yet, if you are religious, you actively teach them to believe in a malevolent, omnipotent, all powerful, cruel being so controlling that he takes attendance on Sunday.

At least Santa was a real person.

@NeedAHoliday2021

I find it bizarre that people see it as parents lying… it’s not like telling you your dad is a man who actually isn’t - clearly a lie to be annoyed about! Father Christmas is something everyone I know looks back on with fond memories of a magical Christmas, then dc find out the truth and feel love for the amazing parents who put in the time and energy to make it magical. Saying you don’t want to lie is just a way of justifying not bothering. I’ve it was so traumatic then why would generation after generation keep it going? We do it because our memories of magical Christmases are something we want for our dc.

That's the thing though. Many of us who did find it traumatizing to find out about Santa later have now stopped the tradition with our own children. I don't think there's a right or wrong way to do this, generally the same way there's no right way to parent (barring abuse and neglect obviously).

Delayed reaction but 😆 at "wide-eyed greed".

@onelittlefrog

I think we should just be tolerant of each other (at the risk of sounding naive).

Santa was a special part of my childhood, but I do understand the view of not wanting to be untruthful with children.

My view is that it's worth it for the magic that you can only truly feel as a child.

But some people feel it is too deceitful, and that's fair enough too.

Each to their own. It doesn't really impact you.

Totally agree with you, and different children like different things anyway. I was an enormously cynical child who really didn't like feeling like anyone was pulling the wool over my eyes, and according to my mother I asked her to tell me the truth with a firm look in my eye at the age of 4 and that was that. My sister, meanwhile, believed fervently until she was about 9.

Mum never made a big deal out of it one way or the other, she just said 'put your stockings out for Santa' and that was that. Different kids find different things magical, I found all the practical rituals of Christmas (like wrapping the presents etc) magical, whereas my sister liked the make-believe aspect. She would probably have loved all the elf on the shelf and letters from Santa, and I would have found it irritating.

I don't see why we can't just accept that parents can make their own decisions about how they want to do Christmas for their own kids without getting so cross about it.

I'm not at all religious, but I can't see how doing make-believe around Santa and teaching your children to believe in something that you believe in deeply yourself are at odds.

The magic of Santa and reindeers and all, will fall away from children's minds and imaginations at some point, all at differing ages. I don't think many children equate Christmas as being religious,except that they are told that baby Jesus, was bestowed with some gifts, and that all children can now have gifts at this time.

I don't personally know anyone who lies about a Santa man, and spoils the little dreams of children.

I think it's sadder, when well before Christmas day, some times weeks or even months, that you can sometimes see piles of presents under early put up trees in peoples houses, and the fact that some people take their kids to big toy stores, and the whole family, is pushing a large trolly full of toys, out to take home. This is the saddest and most stupid thing, to confuse children about a SANTA.

It isn't hypocritical to not like lying to your children so telling them Santa is made up but then telling them God who THEY BELIEVE is real, is real.

So YABU.

for those of us who still believe a little bit www.noradsanta.org

Did you know that St.Nicholas, aka Father Christmas, slapped the heretic Arius across th e face at the Council of Nicea in 325?

I so wish I'd known this when my kids were young - "you'd better be good or Father Christmas will give you a slap"

I think kids can understand that parents tell them something to be nice when they're little and understand it's not 'a lie'. I mean, I'm looking at this from the outside as I'm Jewish and never celebrated Christmas so we didn't have this as kids or with our own.

Incidentally our 'being religious' is not about teaching our kids to believe in a whimsical and very unpleasant bloke in the sky - God doesn't really come into it for us and kids concluded at a pretty early age they didn't believe in God, although they both go/went to a Jewish primary school!

@godmum56 I still believe!

[quote dongke]@TReXX my DH had a rude awakening when he found suggestive snaps of his mother 😱😂[/quote]
😲😲

Yikes!!!

I think it's sadder, when well before Christmas day, some times weeks or even months, that you can sometimes see piles of presents under early put up trees in peoples houses, and the fact that some people take their kids to big toy stores, and the whole family, is pushing a large trolly full of toys, out to take home. This is the saddest and most stupid thing, to confuse children about a SANTA.
What's confusing about that? Santa doesn't bring every toy. Otherwise how do you explain they only got a small pile but their best friend received lots, or vice versa?

@dongke

Lying is lying though, just that some are more serious than others.

But lying is normal in many circumstances & most of us tell white lies because it's more socially acceptable to do so.

Yes, that's the point I was making. The poster said this isn't a lie; it is. It's just an acceptable "little" lie.

This is just moronic.

a) you seem to be assuming that all parents who "don't do santa" are not doing it for religious reasons. Which is nonsense. Plenty of parents don't do santa for all sorts of reasons.
b) "the magic of santa" to use this hideous Disneyesque vernacular is just one small part of the Christmas experience: its perfectly possible to enjoy Christmas without the need to believe a bloke in a fur-trimmed red suit arrives in a sleigh to bring presents
c) you seem to have it in for people of faith. I'm not a person of faith so I don't have a dog in this fight but surely you must see the irony of believing that every child deserves to celebrate a Christian festival and then having a go at people of faith: what do you think Christmas is for?
d) "Santa" is not real. He's a mythical construct who is based on some historical figures.

I think you need to do a bit of reading.

Santa and god/Jesus are really the same thing in many ways.

We're atheist but love Christmas. So the 'star' of Christmas in our house is Santa - but really the family time, songs, excitement, gift giving, food is why makes Christmas special.

I'm treasuring our Santa years, we don't have many left.

But if god/Jesus makes people feel how Santa makes us feel then great as long as it isn't hurting anyone.

I don't feel sorry for anyone if they're doing what makes them happy and enjoying their lives. We're all different.

Hey, why are we picking on people who put up their trees early now?

Leave me out of it 😂😂

Many of us who did find it traumatizing to find out about Santa later have now stopped the tradition with our own children. what was traumatising? The age you found out, how you found out or just the general thing that your parents had told you it was real and it wasn't?

I lie to my dc all the time! I really dont think it is particularly damaging them. When they were little I used to tell them we had brocoli on the dinner table in case a miniature giraffe came to dinner, and that their knickers would feel sad if they didn't put them on so they could go to preschool with them.

The dc are much older now and clearly don't believe a word of it when I tell them that Strictly Come Dancing will be cancelled unless ever dc in the country has finished their homework, or that my ears will fall off if they have to listen to any more you tubers.

Santa fits in to that - when the dc were tiny they used to believe genuinely, now they clearly know it is a game.

I couldn't care less if other people disapprove, and nor do I care if they do things differently. Who would want to live in a society where everyone is the same?

When I hear pps talking about how upset or embarrassed they felt about finding out about santa, it makes me think that they must have felt tricked. That clearly isn't good, or what most parents are trying for. I wonder if the harm comes when parents try to keep the genuine belief going for longer than really suits their dc?

I love the sad knickers thing that is epic

@godmum56

for those of us who still believe a little bit www.noradsanta.org

I love this!

I can't remember when I found out Santa wasn't real but I certainly wasn't traumatised by my parents 'lying' to me or ashamed I believed! I don't know anyone in real life who was either. It seems to be one of those only on MN things.

Why would you feel sad for random children when the children themselves are not sad? There are a myriad of enjoyable traditions that other cultures do that your DC will never experience, do you feel sad for your own DC because of that?

It is perfectly possible to have a lovely celebration without the hype of 'Santa' and sacks of presents. Why does believing in Santa have to mean sacks of presents? Are parents who don't lie about Santa superior both in their honesty and in their giving out of only your approved quantity of presents?

I thought DS might ask about Santa this year, he understands that the characters in shows etc are actors or drawn / stop motion animation etc. He doesn't believe in magic. When I mentioned something about the magic of Santa delivering all the presents he declared "Magic doesn't exist Mom, Santa just waits for everyone to go to sleep and then delivers all the presents!". I didn't argue.

Am I a hypocrite for not doing santa but also not lying about a religion? It's weird to assume it's only ever a religious decision.

I didn't believe in santa from about 4 yet still found the presents appearing absolutely magical. I found it weird that he came down the chimney when we didn't have one and that the wrapping paper in my stocking was the same as the other wrapping paper, and I heard my parents talking about what they'd buy for others and worry about money. It was obvious he wasn't real and I'm still really surprised when I hear of kids 6+ who actually believe or even worse are upset when they find out it's not real. Really weird.

the obsession with Santa baffles me. We did it but in a low-key way. We had plenty of friends who didn't and their children were just fine.

@EatYourVegetables

Do you feel sad for the kids who learn at the age of 10 or so that they’ve been lied to their entire lives?

The only thing that made me sad, was that although I still loved Christmas, the magical Father Christmas element of Christmas Eve was over. It never occurred to me that my parents had lied to me. To me they had simply allowed me to enjoy those few short years of supreme excitement. I dare say my dds would say the same.