To be annoyed DP went ‘clubbing’

[Jessieabs]

Last night my DP went out with his friends for dinner and some drinks. Glad he had a good time, but what has really annoyed me is he’s gone clubbing with his friends in a sweaty COVIDy nightclub where apparently there was 0 social distancing and hundreds of drunk people dancing around him.

For context, we live in an area where there are a LOT of COVID cases. He’s not exactly over the hill (29) but I feel irritated that he’s put as at risk and don’t know why he couldn’t just have had a night out without the clubbing part!

AIBU?

But it is a mild illness for the majority of people.

@Anordinarymum

OP Go on admit it - you are just jealous it wasn't you !

I think she doesn't like him going clubbing with his male friends and Covid is an excuse to justify it but shh...

We’re at the point where most people are now vaccinated. Life now has to resume and carry on. If you’re worried then LFT him every day for the next 2 weeks. You’re just as likely to get it from shopping in the supermarket. It’s time to carry on. We cannot spend the next decade not doing anything because of “what if”. He’s 29. Low risk. On that basis YABU.

It is for most though @alexiavalentine. Sorry about your loss, we lost aomeone too and family friend waa nearly dead too, so I get why it doesn't sit really right but for most population it was just what could be called mild illness.

YABVU, we can't stop living, COVID is going to be around for a long time. We just need to learn to live with it.

@alexiavalentine including myself too. We have had family members die from COVID so I’m not as relaxed about it as some are.

We’re not super cautious, we eat out (outside if possible) stay in hotels (wear masks in lobbies etc) meet friends for drinks (again outside if possible) but this just felt a bit ‘to hell with it’ to me

My elderly uncle with lots of serious health issues caught Covid. It was mild for him and his infirm wife. For lots of people it’s mild, for others it’s sadly not. That’s why anyone at risk is now vaccinated and will be given a booster. It’s time to now move on.

I'm out of isolation tomorrow after having covid. I'd love to go to a covidy nightclub and get drunk.💃💃
Hope your DP enjoyed himself.🥂🥂

There is lots of inside sanitising going on in clubs with all that vodkas🙈
I've been out a lot including busy places. The risk is there, you are aware, but tbh lately it feels like I have bigger chance of gettin stabbed than catching it and having serious effects of it

Still clubbing at 29 is rough... But I'm sure he's just as likely to have got COVID earlier in the evening.

And this is exactly why (as well as a ton of the posters' comments confirm) the UK still has a massive problem with covid.

Remember when the news from Italy was heartbreaking...? Today, their cases are 3000 compared with our 30,000. Nightclubs there are only just set to reopen, and only for those with a covid passport.

If you've both been keeping it fairly safe by mutual agreement then it's pretty off imo

OH is taking a more cautious approach than I would be so I'm holding back from doing some things I'd like to

YABU I went to a nightclub for my hen do in august. I would not expect my now DH to be annoyed with me about it. You can't run his nights out for him.

@alexiavalentine I am sorry you have lost loved ones but the fact is it is a mild illness for the majority of the population.

I'd feel the same as you tbh - I'm not covid obsessed but my DH went to both the theatre and a cinema in the last week, so I'm keeping my distance from him (I do have vulnerable family members I'm in contact with so I'm trying to protect them). As you say there's a difference between getting on with life and saying "fuck it"

I work in a very 'covidy' school environment. I have done since the beginning, as have thousands of others. With all respect to those who have lost people, for most it is a mild or even asymptomatic illness. So, IMHO, OP, YABU.

YABU to expect him not to go

@Jessieabs haha thanks!

I actually don't think you'd have been unreasonable to tell him in advance that you thought a club was taking things a step too far. I think it's really important we all decide what our boundaries are and what we are comfortable with. Weigh up whether things are worth it etc. I'd probably avoid someone who'd recently been in a club but obviously I couldn't do that if my DH had gone to one!

@Jessieabs

I'm much much older but I would be absolutely livid that he went "clubbing" [wherever]. Why, for heavens sake? Surely not for the great music? Oh to chat up girls? I'd expect him to say goodbye to mates after the dinner and to come home.

Update. He is now in a huge sulk and has just had himself a takeaway delivered for dinner without asking if DC or I would like any

Why, for heavens sake?

Cause it's fun

YANBU. 'Living with covid' doesn't have to be all or nothing. It's a particularly high risk environment. I'd be annoyed too.

I agree with this. It's possible to live your life whilst still excluding particularly high risk places such as indoor, large numbers, poor ventilation and no social distancing eg night clubs!

@Jessieabs

Update. He is now in a huge sulk and has just had himself a takeaway delivered for dinner without asking if DC or I would like any

Why's he sulking though? Did you tell him you were unhappy with him? Did you apologise when you updated here to say maybe you'd cook his dinner after all?

DC is 5 so she is going to bed soon, and has had dinner, but still he is being very acrimonious

I didn’t apologise or even get angry at him particularly. I just said (earlier) I was frustrated at him as felt it was a bit high risk and it’s made me uncomfortable.