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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think all men who travel should call 777 and have their GPS tracked and location checked?

352 replies

SummersOverSeasideTown · 09/10/2021 12:51

As it says.
I'd be open to a curfew time, so men can travel during the day maybe, but at night they would have to log their journeys and expected arrival time.

IABU and men should continue to enjoy limitless freedoms and it should be women who have to call and be tracked.

IANBU and this is a reasonable solution to the alternative.

OP posts:
Twelveshoes · 09/10/2021 18:55

It isn’t primarily stranger danger which causes women to walk in fear. Many women are afraid of stalkers and harassers who are usually acquaintances or former partners.

StarfishDish · 09/10/2021 18:56

@Clocktopus

"The Office for National Statistics figures show every year that one in the three victims of domestic abuse are male equating to 757,000 men (1.561m women)"

The majority of whom are being assaulted by men - over 92% of domestic abusers are male. Abuse has no place within any relationship, male or female, however female victims of domestic abuse are more likely to be repeatedly abused and are much more likely to be seriously hurt or killed than male victims.

@Clocktopus The point is though, men are victims too!
Clocktopus · 09/10/2021 18:57

If that's the case, what are women doing to stop their fellow females leering at men on nights on, on hen parties etc? Or is that different?

Are you taking all of this from the Derailers Handbook?

The point is though, men are victims too!

Which I acknowledged in my post. Do you have anything to add other than various rewordings of NAMALT and "women are just as bad"?

Pumperthepumper · 09/10/2021 18:57

@StarfishDish but they’re victims of violence from other men. Nobody loses if we tackle male violence.

RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 09/10/2021 18:57

@Clocktopus The point is though, men are victims too

Men can do the 888 thing as well

Clocktopus · 09/10/2021 18:59

Nobody loses if we tackle male violence.

Exactly this.

PattiPritell · 09/10/2021 18:59

What there must be, judging by the high numbers, is many serial attackers - who because they 1 never get caught and 2 if the do get caught get off due to lack of evidence no doubt attack again and again.
Perhaps police should keep unproven accusation information for say 5 years to see if names come up Repeatedly.

StarfishDish · 09/10/2021 18:59

@Clocktopus

If that's the case, what are women doing to stop their fellow females leering at men on nights on, on hen parties etc? Or is that different?

Are you taking all of this from the Derailers Handbook?

The point is though, men are victims too!

Which I acknowledged in my post. Do you have anything to add other than various rewordings of NAMALT and "women are just as bad"?

@Clocktopus No, do tell me what women are doing to stop each other leering at men. I'm genuinely interested to know!
Clocktopus · 09/10/2021 19:00

They should.

Going back to domestic abuse stats, over 83% are repeat offenders.

Clocktopus · 09/10/2021 19:00

No, do tell me what women are doing to stop each other leering at men. I'm genuinely interested to know!

Then go start a thread about it, I'm not engaging with your attempts to derail what is otherwise an interesting discussion.

StarfishDish · 09/10/2021 19:01

@Clocktopus But they don't though. So if women are allowed to do it, what is the difference with a male doing it?

StarfishDish · 09/10/2021 19:02

@Clocktopus I'm taking from that you have no answer to what women are doing because women aren't doing anything!

Pumperthepumper · 09/10/2021 19:02

@Clocktopus No, do tell me what women are doing to stop each other leering at men.
I'm genuinely interested to know!

Well, it’s not my humour so I definitely would say it was out of order.

But it’s not the same thing by a long way - it doesn’t have the same historical and cultural weight behind it, and it doesn’t translate into an endemic of female violence, murder and rape. So you’re not comparing like for like.

Pumperthepumper · 09/10/2021 19:03

[quote StarfishDish]@Clocktopus But they don't though. So if women are allowed to do it, what is the difference with a male doing it?[/quote]
Because women aren’t raping and murdering men under the umbrella of Misandry. It’s not the same thing.

Popcornriver · 09/10/2021 19:03

RufustheBadgeringReindeer
(Disclaimer…i also do not believe that all men are like that, like 99% of us)

Tbf when the OP talks about restricting the freedoms of all men, it's natural posters will point out it's unfair to ask all to be tracked because of the ones posing a danger. Tracking anyone isn't going to solve the problem. I agree with the post from Clocktopus describing how to begin reducing the issues.

RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 09/10/2021 19:03

[quote StarfishDish]@Clocktopus I'm taking from that you have no answer to what women are doing because women aren't doing anything![/quote]
So you are not doing anything about your friends leering at men?

StarfishDish · 09/10/2021 19:03

[quote Pumperthepumper]@Clocktopus No, do tell me what women are doing to stop each other leering at men.
I'm genuinely interested to know!

Well, it’s not my humour so I definitely would say it was out of order.

But it’s not the same thing by a long way - it doesn’t have the same historical and cultural weight behind it, and it doesn’t translate into an endemic of female violence, murder and rape. So you’re not comparing like for like.[/quote]
@Pumperthepumper It is the same though. The two guys last week who levered at me when drunk are no different to two women leering at a man when drunk.

Clocktopus · 09/10/2021 19:04

I'm taking from that you have no answer to what women are doing because women aren't doing anything!

Oh I have plenty but I doubt you actually want to know, your interest seems to be based more in shutting down the discussion and this is yet more "women are just as bad" what about whataboutery.

Pumperthepumper · 09/10/2021 19:04

@Pumperthepumper It is the same though. The two guys last week who levered at me when drunk are no different to two women leering at a man when drunk.

Yes they are - leering women don’t lead to women who rape and murder. And we know this, and you know this, because violent crimes are overwhelmingly committed by men.

StarfishDish · 09/10/2021 19:05

@Clocktopus

I'm taking from that you have no answer to what women are doing because women aren't doing anything!

Oh I have plenty but I doubt you actually want to know, your interest seems to be based more in shutting down the discussion and this is yet more "women are just as bad" what about whataboutery.

@Clocktopus People are more than capable of quoting the main thread. I'd love to hear what you do to stop females leering at men!
Clocktopus · 09/10/2021 19:05

So you are not doing anything about your friends leering at men?

My friends don't leer at men, we don't really go to places where that would be a thing, and even if we did we are very unlikely to attempt to grope, stalk, or assault those men.

sleeponeday · 09/10/2021 19:05

It is the same though. The two guys last week who levered at me when drunk are no different to two women leering at a man when drunk.

99% of sex offending is by men. 88% of their victims are women.

Please explain to me how a man is going to feel viscerally scared by strange drunk women leering at them, and how this poses a fundamental threat to their wellbeing?

StarfishDish · 09/10/2021 19:06

[quote Pumperthepumper]**@Pumperthepumper It is the same though. The two guys last week who levered at me when drunk are no different to two women leering at a man when drunk.

Yes they are - leering women don’t lead to women who rape and murder. And we know this, and you know this, because violent crimes are overwhelmingly committed by men.[/quote]
@Pumperthepumper Women murder! Maybe not as often as men but they are definitely capable of murder.

Clocktopus · 09/10/2021 19:06

And even if we did decide to grow or assault them, that's not a fight likely to go in our favour due to.biology.

StarfishDish · 09/10/2021 19:06

@sleeponeday

It is the same though. The two guys last week who levered at me when drunk are no different to two women leering at a man when drunk.

99% of sex offending is by men. 88% of their victims are women.

Please explain to me how a man is going to feel viscerally scared by strange drunk women leering at them, and how this poses a fundamental threat to their wellbeing?

@sleeponeday Its not about being scared. Its the principle of it.
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