Changing in classroom - AIBU?

[Meatbadger]

Year 3 DD came home upset yesterday as she got told off for being slow to get changed for PE. She was trying to do it while crouching behind her chair as she felt uncomfortable stripping off in front of the boys.

There have been several issues in the past with boys trying to look at the girls’ pants etc. They’re only 7/8 but AIBU to think mixed changing is probably not appropriate, especially if there are boys waiting to tease the girls about being naked?

We always changed in one classroom when I was at school. I can imagine in most schools there is no other option to separate boys an girls-there are no changing rooms.

Children deserve privacy, my body was changing by that age. I remember some parents spoke to the school and the girls were then sent off to the toilets or cloakroom to change. Still had other girls staring at each other but a bit better.

We've stuck to the children coming into school in their kit on PE days. This and virtual parent evenings, are actual good things that have come out of Covid.

When I was at primary school 2 classes would do PE together, so the boys would all change in one classroom and the girls in the other. It worked well.

I think this will still commonly happen (changing together) at that age. The behaviour of any boys doing that should be stopped - is the teacher not supervising? I assume you don't actually mean "naked" though, no reason for a child to be naked changing except for swimming, which I don't think you're talking about.
Ours wear pe stuff to school which is much easier if you remember it's PE day

The boys' behaviour needs to be stopped. Talk to the teacher.

@Howshouldibehave

We always changed in one classroom when I was at school. I can imagine in most schools there is no other option to separate boys an girls-there are no changing rooms.

Most schools have changing rooms.

In the infants changed in class as a time saver only because it took so long - the P5/6/7s used the changing rooms.

Most Primary schools won't have the space for separate changing until possibly Year 6

I think in y3 they would normally do mixed changing, and only separate towards end y4 / y5.

However if your DD is uncomfortable then speak to the teacher. The boys should be spoken to, and possibly your DD permitted to change elsewhere.

@Fluffypastelslippers most Primary schools I have been in don't have changing rooms

Before covid they used to go to another classroom... now they can't (never seen changing rooms in a Primary school, and DDs have attended five!)

However in Yr 3 it was just boys one side, girls the other.

I think that unfortunately this is common but shouldn't be.
Many girls start developing from Year 4. They should have more privacy.

I may just be fortunate that where I live there has been huge investment in schools because the majority of our buildings are new (as in post 2000) so all have changing rooms.

We always had seperate male/female at school. But that was in the good old days e.g. 70's where males and females were respected. I wouldn't have been comfortable if it wasn't but I was lucky, my mum would just have gone to the school and told them I wasn't doing it. She was never backwards at coming forwards.

This is one of the reasons why children going to school on their PE days is a good idea.
Mine always did wear a vest at that age so that helped .

We had mixed changing but from what I can remember we were separated in that girls were at the back and boys were at the front

The boys behaviour needs to be challenged and stopped. Avoiding the issue by taking the girls out of the room just normalises the boys behaviour and teaches the girls that they should be the ones taking evasive action.

Thinking more about this, the children should be spoken to about being respectful etc etc and then bad behaviour jumped on.
If boys aren't 'trained' to behave well around girls then it will only deteriorate later.
The school should be receptive to hearing this given current news stories.

Deja vu...I remember my first big bust up on MN was about this very same topic, at least five years ago! There were teachers/TAs kicking off about how nobody understood how little space there was in classrooms, how kids can't be trusted to change in toilets alone, how none of their students had ever said they felt uncomfortable etc, but people have already in this thread given examples about how easy it would be to make the changes.

Schools need to accept that kids are hitting puberty much earlier now than they were even 20 years ago. It doesn't make sense to me that we separate by sex in public changing rooms like swimming pools, toilets etc by7/8 as the absolute maximum but we expect children to change together, and in front of an opposite sex teacher, up to 11. Plus all the safeguarding teaching about private areas, not seeing your underwear etc and then have classmates doing exactly that!

Children should feel safe and not embarrassed in schools and if that can be easily achieved by letting them come in in PE kit or swapping 1 lesson a week around so boys and girls do it separately, why not?

I think 7-8 is a little old to be changing together personally. A small proportion of girls will start their periods at 8 and that would be unpleasant for them to be in mixed changing rooms at that point.

Regardless of that you need to bring it up with the school if the boys are making the girls feel uncomfortable. I think its a really off situation if girls are being told off for basically not stripping quickly enough in front of boys who are teasing them about it, and not being given the opportunity for privacy, its not a good message.

@Mantlemoose

We always had seperate male/female at school. But that was in the good old days e.g. 70's where males and females were respected. I wouldn't have been comfortable if it wasn't but I was lucky, my mum would just have gone to the school and told them I wasn't doing it. She was never backwards at coming forwards.

Snorting at the 70s being the good old days where women were respected.

@NichyNoo

The boys behaviour needs to be challenged and stopped. Avoiding the issue by taking the girls out of the room just normalises the boys behaviour and teaches the girls that they should be the ones taking evasive action.

Whilst I understand and in a lot of ways agree with what you are saying, I dont think girls should have to put up with being made to feel uncomfortable for the purposes of teaching boys how to behave. Much better would be to take the boys out of the room to the toilets to change because they cant be trusted etc

Personally I think the best solution would be for Primary uniform to always be 'pe ready'... joggers/leggings/shorts, polo/t shirt and jumper... no more shirt and tie stuff.

It's unusual for primary schools in the UK to have changing facilities.

I'm surprised more schools haven't retained what was originally the Covid measure of primary-age children wearing their PE kit on PE days. It was very popular with parents at our school and they have retained it.

[quote catsandhens]@NichyNoo

The boys behaviour needs to be challenged and stopped. Avoiding the issue by taking the girls out of the room just normalises the boys behaviour and teaches the girls that they should be the ones taking evasive action.

Whilst I understand and in a lot of ways agree with what you are saying, I dont think girls should have to put up with being made to feel uncomfortable for the purposes of teaching boys how to behave. Much better would be to take the boys out of the room to the toilets to change because they cant be trusted etc[/quote]
Have you ever seen the boys' toilets in a primary school? You really do not want your child getting changed in there. Plus the fact that there is only room for about 3 children at a time.