Changing in classroom - AIBU?

[Meatbadger]

Year 3 DD came home upset yesterday as she got told off for being slow to get changed for PE. She was trying to do it while crouching behind her chair as she felt uncomfortable stripping off in front of the boys.

There have been several issues in the past with boys trying to look at the girls’ pants etc. They’re only 7/8 but AIBU to think mixed changing is probably not appropriate, especially if there are boys waiting to tease the girls about being naked?

I've just asked Dd (year 6) and they get changed separately in the way @BananaPB describes.

Most schools have changing rooms

😂 if only! We can’t even afford glue sticks!

This is a timely post for me as just yesterday my 7yo told me she had a boy looking up her skirt to see her knickers as she changed, and she tells me she feels really uncomfortable now. She's the oldest child, and tallest girl, in her year so I can't imagine puberty is too many years away. Horrified to think she'll be changing with the boys when she has pubic hair and breast buds.

Having them change in separate classrooms works for larger Primaries but many rural Primaries are one form entry or mixed year groups, so unless you are mixing various year groups for PE, that solution doesn't work. These smaller schools are also unlikely to have large cloakroom/toilet areas. So coming in PE clothes or having them turn round whilst changing is probably a good idea

@EllieSattler did she tell an adult in the school. If not you need to asap, and you need to tell your daughter to report every time that happens (hopefully won't happen again). If the teacher doesn't do anything, talk to safeguarding lead at the school (details will be on the school website)

@EllieSattler

This is a timely post for me as just yesterday my 7yo told me she had a boy looking up her skirt to see her knickers as she changed, and she tells me she feels really uncomfortable now. She's the oldest child, and tallest girl, in her year so I can't imagine puberty is too many years away. Horrified to think she'll be changing with the boys when she has pubic hair and breast buds.

I agree with @toomuchlaundry. This is exactly the sort of thing that needs to be reported and dealt with at primary school. Boys need to learn, even at 7 years old, that this behaviour is not acceptable.

Yes, going to school in PE kit on PE days was one of those rare school initiatives that children, teachers and parents all like.

I have no idea why so many schools have abandoned one of the few good things to come out of the pandemic.

I've been teaching Y4-6 for over twenty years now and one of the things I have always tried to make sure of is that getting changed for PE is as pain-free a process as possible. In most schools I've taught in, it has been necessary for the children to all change at the same time, in the same room. This is due to a combination of things e.g. no spare rooms, TAs taking their lunch breaks at the end of the children's lunch time (which is when they get changed). At the start of the year, I teach them all how to get changed whilst sitting on their chairs. This limits opportunities for children looking at pants that aren't theirs as well as reducing the spread of clothing across the room. I also show them how to put on a t-shirt so their chests are covered for the maximum amount of time (I wear a vest top as my 'chest' for this demonstration!). Seated, with girls (and facing) at the front of the room and boys at the back, there is a lot less fuss and fewer opportunities for looking at each other. Any child who doesn't want to change en masse either goes out to lunch a few minutes late and gets changed in the empty classroom beforehand or they come in at some point during lunch to get changed. Some will come in a group, some by themselves but it's infinitely preferable to changing in the toilets which feels very unsatisfactory. This way, I 'stand guard' outside my classroom and the children who want it, get privacy and a comfortable space in which to change. For those of you whose children don't have this available, sending them with a changing robe/towel poncho thing might work as a way of giving them some privacy but without requiring the school to rebuild or magic up additional staff to supervise groups elsewhere in the school.

This is the boys' problem, not your daughters. The teachers or the parents or whomever needs to speak to these boys about how to behave and how to be respectful and thoughtful around ggirls.It's a life lesson that will take them far.
The "boys will be boys" and inappropriate jokes and comments written off as "banter" are poor excuses in this day and age and should not be tolerated.

[quote toomuchlaundry]@EllieSattler did she tell an adult in the school. If not you need to asap, and you need to tell your daughter to report every time that happens (hopefully won't happen again). If the teacher doesn't do anything, talk to safeguarding lead at the school (details will be on the school website)[/quote]
She didn't at the time, she told me after the end of the school day and I emailed the teacher last night. I made sure DD knew she was right to tell me and that the boy's behaviour was very wrong.

@Marypoppins19

Most schools have changing rooms

😂 if only! We can’t even afford glue sticks!

Exactly! It makes you wonder how many state primaries that pp has been in!

I would have hated to have to change in front of boys at any age at primary school. So no, I would expect separate changing areas... or at the least let them come into school PE ready!

I also show them how to put on a t-shirt so their chests are covered for the maximum amount of time
I don't like this. It's just sad girls are put in this position.
Shame all schools don't let children arrive PE ready.
My son's school are considering a casual uniform permanently so they can do spontaneous PE.