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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect my child doesn't watch tele at nursery?

129 replies

Ralph871 · 08/10/2021 18:08

My almost 3 year old has been attending the same nursery since we moved back to the UK from Australia last year. I'm happy with the nursery and he really likes it there, his wee brother who is 18 months started going a few months ago and I've had no complaints however tonight when I picked him up he was sat with 5 other kids watching cartoons on a large computer monitor, this is the third night in as many weeks that this has been the case.

He watches Tele at home of course although we do try to be on the stricter side but regardless of that Am I being unreasonable to expect that he doesn't watch tele at nursery?

I'm currently paying £1200 per month for them both to attend three days each as I work full time nightshift, kind of pisses me off to pay over a third of my salary to childcare and then find him sat watching tele.

OP posts:
RobinPenguins · 09/10/2021 11:09

By the end of the day when I pick DD up and there’s only a few children left, they’re usually sitting on the carpet or beanbags with the staff reading to them, or they’re colouring in or playing quietly with the small toys like dolls houses. There are ways to have downtime that don’t involve screens. I’m not anti-screens, she watches tv at home, but the suggestion it’s the only thing to be done with tired under 4s at the end of the day is a stretch. It’s a large nursery though so it has its own cleaner and the room staff can look after the children until closing time, they don’t have to occupy them with screens so they can mop.

Original poster
Ralph871 · 09/10/2021 11:13

@PearandHoney I like to think I am as aware as possible what they do at nursery, we are updated at the end of each day and have the class dojo app which shows photos of them in the garden, what activities they have been doing throughout the day (funnily enough ClassDojo never displays pictures of them all sat watching cartoons🙄)

We live in a small town so regularly bump into other parents at soft play and music class, I try to know the names of the kids in the class and ask how his day has been but at 3 it's kind of hard to get a run down so I need to rely on what the nursery workers tell me and put on the app.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ralph871 · 09/10/2021 11:14

@Hardbackwriter

Ironic that I am a member of a limited screen time group? How is that ironic if I actively try to limit my children's screen time and use that group for advice on how to do so?

OP posts:
Heckythump1 · 09/10/2021 11:16

Wouldn't bother me at all, we all need a bit of down time at various points in the day!

Thatsplentyjack · 09/10/2021 11:17

So one night a week you've come to pick up and they are watching cartoons? Kids need to switch off and chill out sometimes too you know. This would not bother me at all.

Tinkles78 · 09/10/2021 11:21

Ultimately if you don't like how the nursery operates then you have 2 choices: either have a conversation with them and ask that they don't allow your kids to watch TV and ask them to do another activity with them instead, or withdraw your kids and find another nursery that closer aligns to your values.

Thatsplentyjack · 09/10/2021 11:23

Do you think your child's brain will turn to mush because they watch TV for a short time at nursery once a week? You could just cut back on the TV time at home to make up for it?

sHREDDIES19 · 09/10/2021 11:24

@Ralph871 I was only pointing out the type of programme they are watching might be unsuitable. No need to be so rude, I’m sure you wouldn’t say that to someone irl.

JustLyra · 09/10/2021 11:32

@MarleneDietrichsSmile

I think a lot of parents expect higher standards from nursery than they set themselves

Same with nannies. I don’t know a single parent who never is on their phone whilst minding their kids, yet they expect nanny to engage non-stop with the child

I think it’s unrealistic expectations

If you don’t like it you can change childcare provider

Having a higher standard for childcare professionals than you have yourself is hardly surprising. It’s what people do when they’re paying for something.

Many people are not allowed on their phones during their working day.

I can cook, but I expect a higher standard when I pay for a meal out.

Thatsplentyjack · 09/10/2021 11:33

They will be reading the children stories during the day. Children have a very short attention span so there's only soany stories you can keep them engaged in. 10 hours is a long time to keep Children entertained and engaged, and I guarantee most parents don't and couldn't do it at home, but they expect nursery workers/childcare providers to be constantly engaged with the children. Sometimes kids just want to be left alone. Honest let the kids watch a bit of telly and give them and you a break.

Thanks for your genuine response unlike some of the others calling me hard work for not wanting my toddler to watch peppa fucking pig on repeat.

Since when was it peppa pig on repeat? Not what you said, and it's not what's happening. Don't have a tantrum because people don't agree with you.

FTEngineerM · 09/10/2021 11:33

The irony lies in the fact that you have joined a group on one of the most addictive apps ever designed, one that is most to blame for the increase in screen time in adults across the globe, to reduce your child’s screen time because you think it’s damaging.

Thatsplentyjack · 09/10/2021 11:34

*Having a higher standard for childcare professionals than you have yourself is hardly surprising. It’s what people do when they’re paying for something.

Many people are not allowed on their phones during their working day.

I can cook, but I expect a higher standard when I pay for a meal out.*

Bringing a child (an actual human being) into the world is probably in a different league to having a meal out though isn't it?

MelKarnofskyCrane · 09/10/2021 11:39

thatsplentyjack just a quick aside to say I envy your username - I tried for the same one!

Thatsplentyjack · 09/10/2021 12:05

@MelKarnofskyCrane 🤣 thanks

BurntO · 09/10/2021 12:31

YABU OP. It will be at the end of the day or in small increments. It’s common when nursery staff need to run around and tidy up or if the children just need a bit of zone out and chill time. If you don’t like it then don’t do it at home when you know they have at nursery, it’s simple.

If you want to dictate all elements of their care get a nanny.

WhyOhWhyOhWhyyyy · 09/10/2021 13:13

I think a lot of parents expect higher standards from nursery than they set themselves

I 100% expect high standards from nurseries considering how much they charge. If I wanted my child to sit in front of a screen I could do that myself and save £80 a day.

crazyguineapiglady · 09/10/2021 13:40

I think 30 minutes of TV on at the end of the day while staff have to clean, mop floors etc and do handovers is fine.

Or 10-15 minutes of something specific like alphablocks and numberblocks if that is part of the curriculum.

Putting the TV on at 4.30 when they're open til 6 is not great though.

JustLyra · 09/10/2021 17:54

@Thatsplentyjack

*Having a higher standard for childcare professionals than you have yourself is hardly surprising. It’s what people do when they’re paying for something.

Many people are not allowed on their phones during their working day.

I can cook, but I expect a higher standard when I pay for a meal out.*

Bringing a child (an actual human being) into the world is probably in a different league to having a meal out though isn't it?

I’m not sure of your point. I don’t expect childcare professions to “bring a child into the work”.

I expect them to care for them to a higher standard than I do on an average day because that’s what they are paid to do. They’re not paying bills, going shopping, juggling appointments while doing so.
Exactly the same as expecting a meal out to be higher quality than an average dinner at home.

JustLyra · 09/10/2021 17:56

@Thatsplentyjack

They will be reading the children stories during the day. Children have a very short attention span so there's only soany stories you can keep them engaged in. 10 hours is a long time to keep Children entertained and engaged, and I guarantee most parents don't and couldn't do it at home, but they expect nursery workers/childcare providers to be constantly engaged with the children. Sometimes kids just want to be left alone. Honest let the kids watch a bit of telly and give them and you a break.

Thanks for your genuine response unlike some of the others calling me hard work for not wanting my toddler to watch peppa fucking pig on repeat.

Since when was it peppa pig on repeat? Not what you said, and it's not what's happening. Don't have a tantrum because people don't agree with you.

A nursery that needs the tv on for at least an hour and a half at the end of the day has issues. That’s way too long.

And I’ve worked in childcare and schools my entire adult life and have experience a lot of unrealistic parents. Not liking over an hour of tv is not a parent being unrealistic or OTT.

Original poster
Ralph871 · 09/10/2021 18:04

@Thatsplentyjack

I am certainly not "having a tantrum" I can see that the responses here are very mixed.

As for having high standards of paid childcare - well it would be a bit concerning if I didn't would it not? The extreme financial cost aside I certainly want to be completely comfortable with the facility that I am entrusting to look after the two most important things in the world to me and that means looking after every aspect of their needs, not just making sure they are fed and alive at the end of the day.

OP posts:
Clara91 · 09/10/2021 18:11

Fine. It'll just be for a short amount of time after a day filled with activities.
It'll be something to do with cleaning: putting on the washing machine and dishwasher so it's finished for the staff closing up at 6 or the floor being hoovered/mopped.

Peardear · 09/10/2021 18:13

This is very common for later afternoon/evening. Being in nursery all day is very tiring and overwhelming and yes there is targeted learning all day until about 3 o’clock when majority of children go home and later children can relax and have some down time. It absolutely does not go on all day watching TV/iPad. If children have targeted learning for every hour they were in, they would be extremely frustrated, over-tired and over-stimulated which leads to continual meltdowns and keeps them wired for far too long even after nursery. They go from high as kites to more relaxed and ready for transition to home, dinner, bath and bed.

Clara91 · 09/10/2021 18:15

@Clara91

Fine. It'll just be for a short amount of time after a day filled with activities. It'll be something to do with cleaning: putting on the washing machine and dishwasher so it's finished for the staff closing up at 6 or the floor being hoovered/mopped.
To add, at least one of member of staff doing the above and you'll have another doing feedback to parents at this time of day. Wait until they get to after school care, mine have an xbox on a Friday afternoon.
KateF · 09/10/2021 18:19

I don't think you're unreasonable at all. The only time we are allowed to use TV is for the preschool room to watch Jolly Phonics for ten minutes a couple of times a week. My latest children leave at 6.30. If I couldn't occupy them suitably I'd be looking for another job.

2bazookas · 09/10/2021 18:27

It's pick=up time at the end of a long day, the kids are tired, everyone wants their return to their parents to be smooth, happy, no tears.

So, there';s no point being in the middle of some exciting game or activity just as Mum arrives and tries to get the child into their coat and out the door. Then the child is going to be frustrated, and not want to go.

Watching cartoons is a perfectly acceptable way to occupy the children in those circumstances.