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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my child doesn't watch tele at nursery?

129 replies

Ralph871 · 08/10/2021 18:08

My almost 3 year old has been attending the same nursery since we moved back to the UK from Australia last year. I'm happy with the nursery and he really likes it there, his wee brother who is 18 months started going a few months ago and I've had no complaints however tonight when I picked him up he was sat with 5 other kids watching cartoons on a large computer monitor, this is the third night in as many weeks that this has been the case.

He watches Tele at home of course although we do try to be on the stricter side but regardless of that Am I being unreasonable to expect that he doesn't watch tele at nursery?

I'm currently paying £1200 per month for them both to attend three days each as I work full time nightshift, kind of pisses me off to pay over a third of my salary to childcare and then find him sat watching tele.

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 08/10/2021 19:20

It’s a very normal end of day activity. Maybe a nanny would better suit your expectations.

alexdgr8 · 08/10/2021 19:24

sounds like you need to find a different nursery then, or loosen up a bit.
you can't control everything in your children's lives.
it's not outrageous.
but if you really don't like it, then move them.
but you say he likes that place. so moving might be more disruptive than a bit of tv.

Whinge · 08/10/2021 19:29

he left nursery already wired from watching crappy cartoons and his behavior hasnt been great

Crappy cartoons? What was he watching OP?

Rosesareyellow · 08/10/2021 19:30

Also a lot of children’s tv can be very educational, even cartoons. So it will be beneficial to your child as long as it’s not all day and they’re getting enough social interaction.

I think this too. My DS has learned plenty from watching tv. He knows every dinosaur name under the sun from watching a range of dinosaur programs (some more educational than others) he knows all about wildlife and farms and vehicles - these aren’t things we would see in action day to day. And the things he sees in tv shows and films often features in his imaginative play. Tv really isn’t the devil and some parents’ sanctimoniousness about not letting their children watch it is quite cringeworthy. Like when some parents start hyperventilating at the very thought of feeding their baby something from a jar or pouch. Pass the smelling salts!

PeachesPumpkin · 08/10/2021 19:30

YABU

UltimateBugKilla · 08/10/2021 19:31

I've had a few teachers do this, I think it helps keep the children occupied whilst others are leaving and for parents running late.

In4mation · 08/10/2021 19:33

Not cartoons, but action songs, shape, days of the week songs etc are all important to preschoolers. Head, shoulders, knees and toes etc all teach body parts. 5 little ducks etc introduce counting.

Not all tv is bad, but these should be in short bursts and not used as babysitters.

dannydyerismydad · 08/10/2021 19:37

It's Friday. Friday afternoons children who have been in full time all week can be very overtired and clumsy. If a lot of children are showing signs of tiredness a bit of carpet time with tv or some stories can be a sensible way of calming the children and preventing them coming to harm.

Howshouldibehave · 08/10/2021 19:37

This wouldn’t bother me in the slightest-there’s loads of good stuff on the telly and it’s a calm activity at the end of the day.

Certainly when my own kids were little, nothing calmed them like a bit of telly or a bath after a busy day.

Original poster
Ralph871 · 08/10/2021 19:48

It was a Mr Bean cartoon that I had never even seen before, previously it was the movie Sing which we watch often at home and I wasn't too bothered by that.

Should add that I do let him watch majority of cartoons however certain fast paced and overly stimulating ones (paw patrol etc) get him all hyped up and turns a generally very placid and well behaved toddler into a bit of a nightmare tbh

OP posts:
HumphreysCorner · 08/10/2021 19:55

I work in a preschool and after a busy day we sit the children down and watch Phonics. Today we went for a long walk and let them watch a bit of Peppa Pig with a drink and a biscuit. Wasn't long until they left it and started playing again. Happy children 👶

Original poster
Ralph871 · 08/10/2021 19:57

@Rosesareyellow

Also a lot of children’s tv can be very educational, even cartoons. So it will be beneficial to your child as long as it’s not all day and they’re getting enough social interaction.

I think this too. My DS has learned plenty from watching tv. He knows every dinosaur name under the sun from watching a range of dinosaur programs (some more educational than others) he knows all about wildlife and farms and vehicles - these aren’t things we would see in action day to day. And the things he sees in tv shows and films often features in his imaginative play. Tv really isn’t the devil and some parents’ sanctimoniousness about not letting their children watch it is quite cringeworthy. Like when some parents start hyperventilating at the very thought of feeding their baby something from a jar or pouch. Pass the smelling salts!

I'm a pretty laid back parent, I have to be as I had 2 under 2 with zero family support and a husband that worked ridiculous hours and now I'm back at work full time myself.

I don't believe tv is the devil, far from it, but I do believe that young children these days watch too much tv and it's my choice to limit the amount my kids watch until they get older. I just left for work and he's watching a movie whilst his dad finishes up work but it is normally my preference that he has no tele for at least an hour before bed and I'm just not keen on him watching it at nursery

OP posts:
berryhead2013 · 08/10/2021 19:57

I think yabu it's probably and end of day thing the staff will be tidying up or writing up notes they don't get extra time for this there is no way they will be glued to it all day there is too much going on x

Rosebel · 08/10/2021 20:45

So it's okay for you to let him watch it but nursery can't do it once a week.
My son only does mornings so no idea if they watch TV at the end of the day but it wouldn't worry me if they did.
If this is your only complaint then its a good nursery but if it's a deal breaker change nursery.
You need to be realistic though, you can't expect to vet every show they watch at nursery. You sound like hard work tbh.

GettingItOutThere · 08/10/2021 21:15

honestly end of the day when kids are tired it would not bother me. All day then yes 100% would piss me off

The nursery team think of stuff to do all day, stick to the guidelines and learning activities but they need 15 mins to sort things too so I dont honestly see an issue!

SylvanasWindrunner · 08/10/2021 21:19

Our nursery has an occasional movie afternoon if the weather is really bad (very occasional, I think it's happened once on the days DD goes) where they watch a film with some popcorn, but they don't have TV on otherwise, except for a TV screen on the wall showing pictures of what the kids have been doing that day. I don't think I'd mind if they did have TV on at the end of the day, because it's a long day for the kids (and staff!) to be doing activities constantly if they've been in since 8. Maybe just ask them what the policy is?

SleepingStandingUp · 08/10/2021 21:21

You need to find a new nursery and check before you join that they children are engaged in meaningful activities all day.

DoNotGetADog · 08/10/2021 21:21

It’s telly not tele!

converseandjeans · 08/10/2021 21:32

I wonder if the poor behaviour is related to a change of routine - you said you recently went back to work & DH works long hours at home & that the kids have to watch TV while he finishes work.

I think young children get really tired - 5.30 is quite late to pick them up. I presume you drop them off around 8? So they're out the house 9-10 hours? So I think some TV end of the day is suitable.

Could you ask them to show something like CBeebies or Peppa?

SleepingStandingUp · 08/10/2021 21:34

Could you ask them to show something like CBeebies or Peppa?
Not Peppa!! Op really will be blaming her kids bad behaviour on the telly then lol

Olivegreenstrawberries · 08/10/2021 21:47

I would be shocked if the nursery I use did this. Firstly I would ask them how much screen time they use and take it from there. I would want to let them know I'm not happy about. I would also want to talk to the other parents about what they think I bet others wouldn't be happy about it either.
I can't imagine them having the TV on when they are getting inspected by offsted.

Original poster
Ralph871 · 08/10/2021 22:02

@converseandjeans Thanks for your genuine response unlike some of the others calling me hard work for not wanting my toddler to watch peppa fucking pig on repeat.

Sorry maybe my replies weren't clear, I have been back at work for quite some time and husband is WFH since July so there routine hasn't really changed. They generally go to nursery around 9.30am as I like to spend a bit of time with them when I get home from work and have breakfast together. I work three nightshifts per week so I am home a lot and most nights bedtime is 7/7.30 for my youngest and 8pm for the oldest. The crossover between my husband and I shifts is minimal but that's the only night where he watches tv past 6.30pm and his dad is working on the laptop from the living room for that last half hour when I've left for work.

What I meant by pointing out his tantrum tonight was that I recognised about a year ago that too much tv adversely impacted his behaviour therefore I limit it.

OP posts:
RaginaPhalange · 08/10/2021 22:09

Yanbu and I work in a nursery. Fair enough if it's the last 10/15 minutes of the day but not from 4.45pm when the nursery closes at 6pm.

Original poster
Ralph871 · 08/10/2021 22:09

I am genuinely shocked at the amount of people who think it's normal for a bunch of toddlers and pre schoolers to sit watching tele/telly/tv/whatever you want to call it when they are in paid childcare.

Why can't they encourage them to read books or free play or have one of the staff read a story whilst the others tidy up?

I appreciate some people here will think I have a dislike of childcare workers which couldn't be further from the truth. I think they do a really hard job for not a lot of wages but I still don't want my child sat watching tv when I'm paying a fortune for him to go to nursery

OP posts:
FuckingFlumps · 08/10/2021 22:16

I am genuinely shocked at the amount of people who think it's normal for a bunch of toddlers and pre schoolers to sit watching tele/telly/tv/whatever you want to call it when they are in paid childcare

Why are you genuinely shocked. It's a blooming long day for most young children and I'd wager once most adults finish work they unwind by doing something sedentary like watching TV and no one judges them.

You don't know that they are not also offering the children books or other easy unwinding activities.

If you don't like it then you're entitled to find alternative childcare but many parents won't mind so you may find your options are more limited.