To be terrified - please help me.

[WhoisRebecca]

Dd, 15, has started taking sertraline after being prescribed it by a private psychiatrist. She took an overdose last year and school refused towards the end of last year.

She is now behaving erratically- running into classrooms at school shouting that she’s going to kill herself, but then laughing - her teachers think she seems very hyper and ‘excited.’ She’s running off when teachers challenge her or swearing at them. She was never like that before this year.

At the weekend she went for a walk and texted a charity helpline, saying she had no bed and was going to jump on the train tracks. We had taken her bed apart because a new double bed was coming on Monday. There was a spare bed upstairs for her. Dd knew this. The police arrived and I was able to show them dd’s location - she had tracking on her phone. They quickly assessed that she had a safe home and did, in fact, have a suitable bed. This was a reaction to being told off because she had bullied a student at school.

She was put in isolation at school for a nasty incident towards another student. She can sometimes be loving and calm. At other times she is very very high and erratic. School had to send her home today. She struggles to attend lessons. I don’t know where to go from here and feel utterly desperate.

I have bipolar and was diagnosed when I was 19. This was after being on antidepressants for about 6 months, that's what I think led to it. I was at uni and trying to take over the class from the lecturer. I'd talk to random people in the street trying to get them to share the joy with me in something I'd just thought of etc. She sounds very must like what I was like back then.

I was prescribed Valium to calm me down and told to stop the antidepressants. It worked but what followed was a year of depression. I'm happy to help you if I can OP.

Woah, big drip feed OP!

I didn’t intend it to be a drip feed. So much has happened in the last year and her depression started before then.

With me, my mum was out in touch with the crisis team and if she was worried about my behaviour she rang them and they came within the hour. Is there something similar for your daughter?

Concentrate on your own self-care. Ensure you and your partner have a consistent, joint and boundaried approach with your daughter. Definitely ask for a medication review. Medication can be difficult to get right for teenagers as they are growing and changing. The answer does not lie with CAMHS. They can support your daughter as one part of the solution. The major part of the solution to this lies within the relationships of your family.

Thanks for the advice, JulesRimet.

It's very clear that my son has autism, and it was diagnosed at a young age, perhaps this makes things easier, and the professionals seem to think the behaviours might just be linked to autism. I wasn't aware of the overlap of conditions.
It's very difficult about losing friends, Knotnowdear. People can be very shallow.

@WhoisRebecca

Dd was sexually assaulted by a boy she knew last year. That may have triggered this.

I can honestly say this is 100% the cause. Just given my daughter trauma from her assault alod sexually abused by my dad ages 8-12 waseant to go to try last may after they put her through exams and interview after interview they withdraw charges due to not enough evidence. This destroyed her. Is she seeing anyone for help

Absolutely. It's classic trauma response. Most mental illnesses have a huge trauma component. I don't subscribe to the idea that it's all genetics.

Specialist counselling definitely. I would imagine that she is expressing the emotions she feels in the only way she knows how. Our brains don't mature until our twenties and she won't have the emotional maturity to handle this by herself.

@WhoisRebecca

Dd was sexually assaulted by a boy she knew last year. That may have triggered this.

I expect you would, but definitely make her psychiatrist aware of this

• obviously can be a trigger
• your DD may need help re after effects (her anger may be acting out as well as due to an emerging condition )
• if (obviously hoping never happens) your DD ever needs to be in hospital she needs to feel safe

I think you need a second opinion - SSRIs can cause or exacerbate mania.

@Diverseopinions

Thanks for the advice, JulesRimet.

It's very clear that my son has autism, and it was diagnosed at a young age, perhaps this makes things easier, and the professionals seem to think the behaviours might just be linked to autism. I wasn't aware of the overlap of conditions.
It's very difficult about losing friends, Knotnowdear. People can be very shallow.

My paternal grandmother was diagnosed with schizophrenia but it's really clear that me and my Dad are both autistic although I'm the only family member diagnosed. When they diagnosed me they said that schizophrenia can be a misdiagnosis for autism - especially in women.

Autistic nervous systems operate differently. Personally I find it incredibly hard to switch off after stress and then if I can't sleep properly and can't eat properly because I'm stressed then this can spiral out of control to meltdowns and eventually total breakdown.

It does look a lot like mania but understanding what is going on for me and managing my stress levels better and learning how to relax has really helped.

Sorry to derail the thread a bit OP.

OP, I had a friend who took serialise for depression but was later assessed as having ADHD and bipolar.The sertraline was having a terrible effect when they were in a manic state - to the extent that they could not really recall much of what they had been doing.As a child they were very disruptive at school. The diagnosis were not made until their 40's by a psychiatrist.it may be worth asking for an assessment.

She’s been on the waiting list for autism and ADHD assessment since December.

I’m not a mental health expert OP and what you and your DD are going through sounds really unsettling, and upsetting. From my limited knowledge she may have a mental health illness but in some ways it doesn’t matter what it is, she is in crisis and needs support.
That support doesn’t just have to take the form of medications, like someone said above self care for her and the family, time together, communication and a chance to be able to relax without a label.
I would request a medication review because as an adolescent she is changing all the time, this manic episodes are showing you that is not right for her I think,
Plus, what other support is the psychiatrist giving? It might be worthwhile asking school about other supports they have around wellbeing and flexibility to talk to someone when she has certain feelings at school, what triggers it and how she feels - pastoral care I mean. Feeling ‘loved’ and cared for rather than ‘reported on’ by school.Plus do they have an educational psychology referral system?
I’m sure you are doing as much as you can OP and I realise it’s difficult for you all. Also lastly look up Andrew Curran and the Little book of big stuff about the teenage brain, it explains a lot about adolescence and might help.

She has a teacher who she works with closely, but she’s been off with Covid this week and Dd struggles to cope without her. She can be particularly defiant with cover staff.

My instinct would be to love her and reassure her that she is loved and none of this is her fault. It will get better. She is not a bad person and didn't deserve any of the things that happened to her.

It's not bad behaviour. She's distressed and expressing that in the only way she knows how.

Try and be on her side OP. i may be projecting but when I was manic, I lived with my mum and stepdad and I actually hated him. If my mum stuck up for him at all or didn't stand up for me in front of him well she became as bad as him. I then hated her too. Try and keep her on side. Sending you love.

She needs an urgent review - the balance of risks/benefits of antidepressants is subtle at that age.

@black2black

Try and be on her side OP. i may be projecting but when I was manic, I lived with my mum and stepdad and I actually hated him. If my mum stuck up for him at all or didn't stand up for me in front of him well she became as bad as him. I then hated her too. Try and keep her on side. Sending you love.

This.

Your DD may feel vulnerable after the assault too. Even if your partner is completely reasonable in every respect, she will now view all men in a different light.

Trust is easily broken, very hard to repair.

A relative of mine took Sertraline and it caused mania and erratic behaviour which was very unusual for them. They ended up under close watch whilst being weaned off and put on something more suitable. Echoing previous posters saying you need an urgent medication review

Bless you, stay strong, keep pushing and engaging with the school as you are. Unfortunately I’ve been there, it was awful. DD was finally diagnosed and taken off everything gradually, she has ASD

She is nearly 18 now and it’s honestly such a turn around, your daughter is lucky to have you, don’t forget that and look after yourself as well please.

You can pm me anytime if you would like to chat off line

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this OP. It is majorly stressful when your teen is showing signs of a major mental illness and you yourself just feel utterly desperate. I’ve been there. And cautiously, we are coming through the other side, though I take nothing for granted.
You have some serious questions to ask here. First question you’ve got to ask is
Can I keep her safe at home?
I ask this because your home realistically cannot be a fortress. It fixes nothing. Many posters have suggested bipolar, EUPD, ADHD, CPTSD….but honestly these diagnoses are huge and can take time to figure out. Finding the right medication and therapy also takes time. I know your DD is in her GCSE year, but In honesty, I think GCSEs are the least of your worries. She needs to be stabilised and properly diagnosed.
If you have insurance, I would be looking into a spell of valuable inpatient treatment (voluntary). So much can be achieved during a short spell of time (say 3 weeks) during inpatient which might take months or years at home. If you have insurance talk to the psychiatrist or change psychiatrist and see if you can get private CAMHS inpatient at Priory or similar. It will be time well spent, good for her and good for you to get respite and think about a clear plan forward.

Hi @WhoisRebecca,
I feel for you. What your daughter has been through with lockdown and the assault last year has been massive. What you might call adverse childhood events that her young developing brain may not have been to process.
Has physical health been checked to make sure there isn’t anything organic going on? Just to rule it out.xx

Didn't want to just read and run. Really feel for you and hope you have a constructive medical and school appt. This may be side effects which will lessen hopefully very quickly. So worrying for you

Please pay zero attention to the hurtful Aunt remarks ….other than to tell her to shut up! Your DD has suffered trauma and assault. She is ill! Even if she does have border line personality (and that’s a huge conclusion for anyone who isn’t a professional to jump to) BPD Is an illness which is treatable! She has no business talking of your niece in such disparaging and hurtful terms. So very ignorant.