To be terrified - please help me.

[WhoisRebecca]

Dd, 15, has started taking sertraline after being prescribed it by a private psychiatrist. She took an overdose last year and school refused towards the end of last year.

She is now behaving erratically- running into classrooms at school shouting that she’s going to kill herself, but then laughing - her teachers think she seems very hyper and ‘excited.’ She’s running off when teachers challenge her or swearing at them. She was never like that before this year.

At the weekend she went for a walk and texted a charity helpline, saying she had no bed and was going to jump on the train tracks. We had taken her bed apart because a new double bed was coming on Monday. There was a spare bed upstairs for her. Dd knew this. The police arrived and I was able to show them dd’s location - she had tracking on her phone. They quickly assessed that she had a safe home and did, in fact, have a suitable bed. This was a reaction to being told off because she had bullied a student at school.

She was put in isolation at school for a nasty incident towards another student. She can sometimes be loving and calm. At other times she is very very high and erratic. School had to send her home today. She struggles to attend lessons. I don’t know where to go from here and feel utterly desperate.

I will say it again. NO-ONE CAN DIAGNOSE A MENTAL ILLNESS IN A CHILD VIA A THIRD PARTY ON THE INTERNET.

sorry.

Just had to get that off my chest again.

Scaring the OP with armchair diagnosis I do not believe is helpful.

Psychiatrist tonight. Dd didn’t really engage particularly though, she shut down and didn’t want to talk.

Have you asked her what she wants?

Everyone here danced around the suggestion of taking my DC out of school (I was so worried about them just giving up and never achieving any results). I didn't even think it possible until the head and his assistant said that it would be better to take them out for a while.

It cried, it was such a relief to be given 'permission'.

It took a while and but doing this and adjusting new meds and we have a new child here. Honestly. Back studying (part time only) and giving their all. Secondary was not the right environment.

I kept going, battling and cajoling them to stay in secondary - looking back, it was absolute madness. I thought I was doing the right thing.

I believe we did the best thing in saying 'no more'. We kept in contact with the school constantly and we had the support of ESMA.

I did everything by the book, BUT, we had a massive amount of support from the psychiatrist. I know it's hard that your dd doesn't engage but if she did, she'd see they're on her side. One that tells her they understand how difficult life is for her, is invaluable. Try and find a new psychiatrist who 'gets her' it will be a game changer, I think?

Dd is attending school part time now - I've tried not to pressure her. She has her autism assessment tomorrow.

I've just googled it and on the www.nhs.uk site it has a list of common - to rare side effects, some of which seem to fit with what your daughter is showing.

It also says it can be used in adults dor depression and ocd, an d that children can take it BUT.... .

Sertraline can be taken by children aged 6 to 17, but only for obsessive compulsive disorder.

Personally not had experience of it but I'd be querying the effects on your daughter x x hope you get some answers x

@WhoisRebecca

Dd is attending school part time now - I've tried not to pressure her. She has her autism assessment tomorrow.

Thinking of you both today. It can be exhausting (for both of you), do bear that in mind. I hope she opens up and is honest with the questions.

@WhoisRebecca

Dd is attending school part time now - I've tried not to pressure her. She has her autism assessment tomorrow.

Good luck with the assessment

How's things?

@procrastinationstations we get the result of the autism and ADHD assessment next week. She's going to school today (after staying awake all night) for the first time this week. She's generally calm at home and eating a bit better. We did have an A and E visit this week where she said she didn't want to be here anymore, but then changed her mind and wanted to come home.

I could have typed this exact post a year ago.

My advice would be to go with the flow, if she can't manage all day, don't be worried. Try again next day or another time.

Apart from the right meds, stripping life back and taking each hour as it came, therefore removing the pressure (and I know that's difficult with working and other children etc) was the biggest game changer.

Thinking of you, I really do get it, not sure if that helps?

Do you honestly think I'd make up such a detailed post where I've asked for support? I'm a long standing poster who is living through this. What do you think charity helplines do when someone is threatening to kill themselves and they think they are in immediate danger?!

@procrastinationstations thank you, I really appreciate that.

@Wonnle Nothing like showing your ignorance, is there? An OP from a deleted thread posted that the police had turned up at her door because of her worrying posts on MN. Of course they will act if asked to by a concerned third party.

@WhoisRebecca - my niece was very similar to yours while at school. Her school allowed her to just leave whenever she wanted to, and this continued throughout her senior school life. Once she left and attended College she coped so much better - it was something about being in the pressure cooker school situation that affected her really badly (she was diagnosed late with Aspergers). She is now holding down a full time job (aged 21) and enjoying life. My sister had some very worrying and frightening years with her, but hopefully your daughters and your bad times will come to a natural conclusion at some point. for you both

I remember your post from before and am living through very similar with my daughter. She was a school refuser from year 8 and was taken out then to deschool. She had a diagnosis of ASD/PDA/ADD done privately at age 14 and she went back into adult evening courses for GCSEs but then was put on Sertraline when the anxiety around exams got too much and this was increased later. She has other medical health issues and is on alot of medications, and has almost died twice as well as having been sexually assaulted too, about 4 years ago which is when some friendships fell out and it all went completely pear shaped. Her behaviour sounds like your daughters and this weekend I felt I was going to need to call the crisis team - the problem she goes to stay with her boyfriend, and forgets to take enough medication so she has been yoyoing between being on a 100mg dose and no dose, and this of course is absolutely not good for her nor sustainable.
I went and collected her on Sunday because she couldnt physically get on the train to come home - she said the patterns on the seats were watching her, and she was scared of passing out (she has badly controlled diabetes too)
since coming home she has resumed all her medications, but Ive suggested she just takes 50mg. She seems alot calmer. She is 21 so a bit further down the line. Im hoping that she can stabilise and rest. What Ive read today makes sense about the sertraline perhaps not being right for her. She has reached the point where she DOES want to get better now though, and is engaging with her therapist and willing to do the work. Like your DD she refused to speak to most of them, or just went along for the chat but never put any suggestions into practice - as if she thought her presence there was enough. She seems ready now to face the bad stuff and get it put behind her.

I hope your daughter is able to receive the help she needs - has she calmed down on the reduced dose of the sertraline, or is she off it altogether now?

and yes, my daughter was much better in a college environment. School was far too regimented, with 'girls must fit this box' and college proved the opposite - she used to laugh and say 'they all are desperate to be individuals now, but they bullied me for being different at school'

We got an autism diagnosis today.

I really hope you're holding up okay

We are just relieved to have a diagnosis now. She also has low cognitive processing speeds and poor working memory. She won't be able to recognise how she's feeling, which is why her emotional regulation is so poor. The report is going to recommend an EHCP and at least 25% extra time for exams.

It does make me sad that she's struggled for so long without support.

It was interesting that some posters were suggesting she had a personality disorder or bipolar - she was very clearly autistic based on all the assessments they did. Her profile was fairly even as well. I think it can look different in girls and sometimes girls are misdiagnosed.

That’s good.
The fact she now has an assess that means you also will have a much better idea of how to support her.

I’m a.so wondering if it will be worth refitting her medication/psychiatrist etc… in the light of the assessment.
Eg is the AD the best for her knowing her diagnosis?
Is the psychiatrist the best person to support her etc….

She's started CBT now and she seems ok on the lower dose of sertraline, but I suppose a lot of her issues are because of the autism and can't be medicated.

Side effects of meds

I haven't read the full thread but I know from my working experience that young adults with autism can have serious meltdowns. I think you should contact the family support groups as you should find help there. Good luck