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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what age you suddenly really started to age?

488 replies

Onedaylikethis21 · 07/10/2021 17:09

I feel like at 48, I have really started to age- creepy neck, a bit jowly, going a bit grey and not feeling great to be honest! I look after myself - don’t really drink as I see it on my face, wear nice clothes, nice hair etc but it’s becoming an effort ☹️ Wasn’t expecting it actually!! I always thought I looked pretty good for my age. I know it’s vain and I shouldn’t care but it’s just weird!!

OP posts:
BinkyBonky · 08/10/2021 18:15
  1. Luckily a lovely friend recommended the Dr Louise Newson website about menopause and I have started HRT, apparently this can help the painful joints, exhaustion, wacky moodswings, libido, improve skin and all sorts of other health benefits. I live in hope but have definitely seen an improvement in libido, DH is thrilled!Wink
windysocks · 08/10/2021 18:16

48

bitteroulbag · 08/10/2021 18:17

Had my kids at 38 and 41 which kept me young. Then felt old at 53 when hub had MLC with a v v young idiot but now at 62 feel great. Not dyeing hair anymore is brilliant!! Immensely freeing and brightens up the oul fizzog. Swim, dance and sing ladies!! Remember, it's just a number. Wink

Pinkandpink · 08/10/2021 18:18

47

MadameTuffington · 08/10/2021 18:18

Bloody 50 🤡🤡🤡

Bizarre muscular achey legs at night, grey hairs sprouting, extreme exhaustion once a month, cellulite and periods all over the shop.

DD19 & 15 find it hilarious …

Birdcloud · 08/10/2021 18:18

HRT and a brilliant husband (11 years younger-
72 and a fully working specimen . I just don’t look in the mirror.

50s were the worst, 60s better, 70s great.

Feetupteashot · 08/10/2021 18:19

After children. Only look in the mirror in dark light tho and I'm still quite hot

MummyMayo1988 · 08/10/2021 18:21

31 when I had my third son.
I remember being soo full of energy with my first at 21. I lost all the weight.

It's been 2 years and I can't for love nor money get rid of the belly. Loads of stretch marks. My back aches - all day long. Can't sleep. Perpetually tired. Crows feet. I also breastfed all three and they are not looking their best these days.

I have to make myself look after myself (if that makes sense) because at the end of the day; I just want to shower and go to sleep.
DH on the other hand has literally never looked better. He's soo handsome - much more than when we first met at 18.

TheBullfinch · 08/10/2021 18:25

I lost about a stone and started dating and going out a lot , staying up late, travelling, drinking and it really aged me, almost overnight.

The Sag happened and my eyes and nose started watering. I lost 'the glow' and the skin plumpness. Still, it was good while it lasted.

panauchocolat · 08/10/2021 18:26

40-41
Im 42 now but before I used to look at some work colleagues with bumbag bellies - you know- that bloody muffin that makes a mountain —- horribleeee, I never had and thought I would never have one…. I do now and I can’t see myself comfortable with any of the clothe or dresses that I like… I hate them !
I didn’t eat the earth during lockdown, so I can’t blame it… It must be the first signs of fucking ageing ! I also can see a strange type of ageing on my skin on my chest …. I just wanna cry really !

I signed up to the gym though :(

TheBullfinch · 08/10/2021 18:27

@wantanotherdog

Cheer up, you lot. Lose a bit of weight (if necessary) then join an Am Dram group of older wannabe thespians. They'll thrust you on the stage, insisting that at age 55 you can definitely play Julie Jordan (Carousel) who ages from 16 to around 40 and from then on, as long as you stay well away from mirrors, you will always feel a good 10 years younger than you are!
shudders at thought of am dram.
TheWatersofMarch · 08/10/2021 18:29

Early 50s. Menopause has done for me. I looked at a mirror today and screamed because I couldn't figure out what my 3 years dead Mum RIP was in the room.

Ginandcrispsarebliss · 08/10/2021 18:33

I was feeling my age and was shocked with a photo of myself four years ago while on Holiday. I needed to lose weight and decided to join SW and exercise. I couldn't keep blaming my weight gain on having my youngest. He is 10 now!! I have lost 4 Stone and it took me 18 months. I have kept the weight off by having a treat day every week. The occasional Take-away, gin, etc which I so look forward too. I wouldn't stick to the diet if it was full on but this way works for me.
I used to hate excerise but I really enjoy the classes and use weights. I have also been working out at home with Davina Mccall DVD's. They are brilliant and have helped plus I work shifts so the classes/DVD's work around my life/family. Also dog walking helps lots and it is good to get out to clear my head from time to time.
I have been told I have nice skin and my nan taught me a skin care routine when I was young. From the age of 14 when using make up, I use cleaner, toner and astral cream. It really works and costs pennies. I now use No7 serum. I am 50 so trying to look after myself. Age just creeps up and it is scary but we can try and look after ourselves the best we can. It is hard with everyone being busy with work, families, money, life in general but everyone deserves a bit of TLC. My husband is useless with any kind of complement but losing the weight has helped my confidence so much and excerising makes me feel happier. I am sure you are all beautiful what ever age you are.

Pliudev · 08/10/2021 18:33
  1. And the lockdown. Until it began, I swam 50 lengths three times a week and felt great. I've gone back but only once a week now and only manage about 30 lengths. In the last few years I've developed lines on my face, aches for no real reason and feel tired a lot of the time. I know some of this is down to lifestyle and needing to lose weight but I'd say it's really hard after 65. Also you know you're old when conversations with friends are all about ill health and worse, who's dead. If you still feel young, make the most of it.
Cuddlywaterfall · 08/10/2021 18:37

I'm happy with the results. It's very subtle and friends have commented that I look good without knowing about it. I've had a small amount of filler in my cheeks and it has lifted my face without distorting it. I'm wary of the whole Joan Rivers look!

DameMaureen · 08/10/2021 18:38

@SusannaOwens

My aches started after the Covid vax, which also brought my periods back. I played quite a lot of sport, but suddenly my knees and hips were sore, my finger joints were especially sore. I struggled with exercise and felt dreadful afterwards. I was too sore to walk far and developed bloody plantar fascitis too. HRT is helping a lot, I'm back to playing my sport, but being careful to warm up and might try a little light running again. But I was wondering, if I toughed it out without hormones would it have gone away eventually.
Why would you " tough it out "? Do you do that with any other condition? Do you say to the dentist no anaesthesia , I will just tough it out ? You do know that menopause can last for years ?
DameMaureen · 08/10/2021 18:41

@NurseMumMe

Hysterectomy/ ovary removal at 46 and overnight it seems my hair turned grey, vision worsened, joint pains, fat around abdomen, skin dry, hair thinning and lost all hair on arms / legs, voice changed, appetitive, sleep patterns, even attitude has changed as appearance changed - I looked and felt so much older - surgical menopause is a beast.
Did they put you on HRT ?
Chris39 · 08/10/2021 18:48

45

Fayelina · 08/10/2021 18:50

45 it really started, think my eyes showed it first and now at 47 the ageing is creeping further! Eyes bothers me the most, feel like they have got smaller and I look tired all the time!

Shoobydooer · 08/10/2021 18:53

@speakout

Shoobydooer

Knees can take a hammering over a lifetime. Keeping weight down is the single most important thing to do.
And look after knee circulation. Sitting or standing causes fluids in the knees to become stangant, reduces circulation. Also really helpful to invert the legs above the heart on a regular basis, it takes strain and pressure from the veins and lymphatic system, drains toxins, makes way for fresh oxygenated blood to refresh the joints.

Thanks, will keep that in mind! Have seen plenty of people on here mention how it gets more difficult to shift weight in the menopause years, so will really have to stop that getting worse.
DagenhamRoundhouse · 08/10/2021 18:53

In the last two years!

speakout · 08/10/2021 18:59

Shoobydooer
I think it harder to keep slim as we age.
I was always a natural 8/10 size with no effort until I was 45.
I have to be very mindful of my diet now, waist upholstery padding services is always knocking at my door!

Nofucksleft · 08/10/2021 19:05

I'd say 43 I feel now how I thought I'd feel at 65

Whu020 · 08/10/2021 19:15

50 down hill from there wait till you start shuffling your feet in a morning!

sansucre · 08/10/2021 19:15

@branchlight

45 started to notice changes in face. At 48 I don't recognise myself - my face shape has completely changed. Really thinned, beginning of jowling has given me that pointed chin thing, pronounced naso-labial folds, which are merging with those downturning lines from the mouth. My skin is fine - its the sagging, especially in the lower face that is ageing me. I hate it. I look fine in some mirrors but awful in others, I have actually started when I accidentally catch sight of myself!

But its not just my face. My bloody vulva is giving up the ghost too!
Its been sore for two years now and HRT has not helped. Have a referral to a vulva clinic.

Middle age sucks!

You need to ask your GP for vagifem, it's a pessary that will help your poor vulva. You use it nightly for the first fortnight and then bi-weekly.