to think it's very sad that some parents can't be bothered to take their children to the school christmas fair

[emkana]

And before you all start I know that there are 101 very good reasons why some parents can't take their children.

But some could and just choose not to and I think that's sad for their children and sad for the school.

I think the bottome line is that it's nobody else's f**business how any family spends their time out of compulsory school hours. Not everyone wants to be bullied into spending £5 to struggle round a smelly hall and then be yammered at for more money for the contents of other peole's attics and the sort of rubbish 'craftwork' that you'd only give houseroom to if your own DC had made it, all the whioe being either condescended to or clutched by the lapels and pleaded with to waste even more of your precious time putting on events that are a smal taste of the outer circles of hell for those that attend but which are 'for chariteee;.

I think if you think people not coming to a school fayre is "pissing" on any aspect of your life, then I don't really know what to say to you.

But you're happy for your children to enjoy all the extras that the PTA raises funds for, aren't you? Great.

And what is all this "bullying" that several of you speak off? I have never seen any bullying, just people that work their socks off to do good for the school.

Emkana: while nobody is accusing any specific school's PITA of bullying, saying that people who don't choose to attend or bring their kids to some extracurricular wankfest don't care about their children, the school or the community strikes me as a little bit bullying. And while I sympathise with the school-fayre-organisers who have had a poor turnout, I find it hard to imagine that there have been more than a very few incidences of people saying, in so many words 'we can't be arsed' as opposed to saying , 'we can't make it, sorry,' or just not appearing. And if people just don't appear, then it's none of your business why.

I don't think they are particularly enjoyable but I think it is important to support the school and so I attend if poss.
A lot of our fundraising and organising of extra curricular activities is championed by the teaching staff themselves and I think it would be very rude and ungrateful not to go and spend a little money.
I see it as a sign of respect and gratitude to the people who look after our dc for a large part of the day.

wankfest????????????

Would you care to explain to me where the money that the PTA is raising is supposed to be coming from then, if people don't give their support?

And expressing your opinion on MN is something very different to bullying, IMO.

my dcs don't like going to the school christmas fair.

(oh how i do love my children!)

oooh, didn't realise i was coming in on a bit of a fight there

Emkana: how do you know you wouldn't get at leat as much money for the PTA if you asked all the parents for a direct financial contribution (as much as they could afford or wished to give)? I don't think I'm the only person in the world who is more inclined to give a simple amount of cash to a cause when asked as opposed to buying crap I don't need or want or giving money just because some dickhead has dressed up as a bunnyrabbit. So much these days 'for charideee' is about annoying people rather than just giving the option of donating money (which is more use than buying a knitted tea towel holder anyway).

The madame has a point.

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Doodletootoo, yes, that's nice, but if another parent at the school had preferred to either give you a fiver rather than vounteering to have bucket of water chaucked at them ''for charity' or chosen to give their spare cash to a different good cuase ( the hospice that cared for their mother/the starving children of the third world/cats protection league) would youstill think they were pissing on you?

But madamez, this particular cause is important in what it represents for our children, no?
Because it is raising money for the school that you have chosen for them as well as giving them a sense of community.
You are effectively telling your children we are a part of this school community and we think it is important to support it.
Sorry if I am butting in btw......

Manchita: no apologies necessary for butting in, dive in and give ti some TO address your points - some peoppe might feel that other charities are more immportant than a local one (not saying that's right or wrong, just that it's an opinion some might have) andalso as I saidpreviosuly, school is not a community to everyonem, for some people it;sjust a place you have to go for some of your time,

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DD1 (nearly 4yo but in school nursery) attended her School Christmas Fayre last week, as all the pupils did, WITHOUT parents. It is held during school time. Parents are asked to send in money in a named envelope for their child to spend and a carrier bag for their spoils. Needless to say I got 3 carrier bags back full of stuffed toys

As it was DD1's first Christmas Fayre I would have quite liked to go if only to see whether it would actually be as horrendous as I am led to believe.

Perhaps poor parental attendance or indeed all out fighting has prompted this unusual way of running the Christmas fayre. Has anyone else had this?

I think people have a right not to attend any school event - of course they do. And of course there are lots of reasons why people who might want to can't.

But speaking as some one who has just helped organize a fair that raised over a 1000 pounds for our school which will all go towards providing lots of the extras that makes school life fun, I feel very discouraged to find myself described as a"do-gooder"and a "dickhead" and the whole event as a "wankfest"! All the OP said was that it's a bit sad that some people choose not to go!

Why on earth do people feel the need to be so abusive? Bizarre!

I think those who say 'why not just donate £5.00 to the PTA instead' are missing the point a bit IMO.

I see school fairs as more than a fund-raising activity and tbh, I don't aim to spend a fortune at them and strictly limit the amount of money we take. But for me, they are one of the key opportunities to meet my son's classmates and their parents and teachers when everyone is off duty. Our school fairs are held on a Saturday, so definitely not part of the school day. Other, school-run events, like nativity plays, are not so relaxed - pupils and teachers are 'on duty'.

I work outside the home, so am not there in the playground at pick up time. If I did not make a point of attending events like christmas fairs, it would be that much harder to get to know the people at my son's school - people (both adults and children), who are important to him. IMO the classroom helpers, the parents who volunteer to hear reading and all the other PTA joiners-in are the people who tend to be at school fairs, either helping or attending. I hear about these people from my son, so I naturally want to meet them too - sometimes simply to thank them for something.

It's a great opportunity to see how my son mixes with his classmates, see how parents get on with each other - observe the social dynamics of the school.

I think there are two issues here.

One is the financial one and I do understand the point that people should realise that a lot of things that make school nice are funded by voluntary means. And that means everyone should make some sort of contribution, to the extent they are able. For some, that will be time and effort. For others it might be financial. For most people it will be a mixture. I do think that schools/PTAs should make sure that people have some different options about how they make their contribution, even if for some it is simply writing a cheque.

The other issue is the "being part of the community" one. And I think people do have the right to choose to what extent they are part of the extended school community out of school hours. People are part of lots of different communities these days - work, school, local, church, social clubs, extended family. Some people would have to stretch themselves very thinly indeed to "support" all the communities they are part of to the fullest degree.

People making the point about money being raised "making school more fun" - this is not always the case. My son's old primary was raising funds to replace the hall curtains. They were heavy velvet interlined curtains with slight fading to the edges. They did their job superbly well and to be honest I don't think any child in the school would have found the new curtains "fun" at all.

Something that puzzles me about this thread. People are talking about the PTA as if they are an entirely separate and somewhat exclusive club that make arbitary decisions without reference to anyone else. All parents at a school are automatically members of the PTA. There are always regular meetings apart from the AGM where committee members are elected. The curtain buying decision would have been taken at one of these meetings. It does sound like a pretty weird thing to spend money on - but if there wasn't anyone there to point out that it was weird and why not spend the money on more tricycles then the curtain obsessives are going to carry on buying soft furnishings until the entire school is upholstered!

My DTS are still at nursery so I have no experience of this but am currently looking at schools (state) for them to attend next year. One of the schools I looked at, the PTA raised £30000 last year.

That tells me that it has a very proactive and vibrant PTA that is well supported by all the parents. I was extremely impressed.

The school I am putting as my first choice, the PTA raised £16000. I would like to get involved in the PTA but as I work part-time, I'm not sure how much I can realistically contribute.

I think parents should support the school when they can though.

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I'd definitely object to anything described as a 'fayre'. What's wrong with 'fair'?

'fayre' - horrible !!